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    #31
    Hire a driver.
    Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

    I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

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      #32
      I'm sorry, Life&Roll.

      Your English is so spotless that I just assumed it must be your native language, and so you must be from some English-speaking (presumably, Western) country. But then again, I guess India very nearly qualifies as one .

      I do still believe that when it comes down to it, what you need is to make your mother understand, somehow, that you want to live your own life. I have no suggestions for how to do that beyond what others have already said: look for ways to have your own transportation, etc.

      Good luck in any case!

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        #33
        life and roll i think that you need to start showing more independence and doing for more youself....if you have not shown your parents that you can take care of yourself then they are going to worry that something will happen to you.....

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          #34
          Originally posted by dispatchjen View Post
          you can't get in your chair on your own? what if you fall out of your chair can you get back in? how far do you live from the mall
          I can't get into my wheelchair without help, but won't fall out of it. It is quite secure. Mall was around 1 hr away in high traffic.

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            #35
            Originally posted by Saranoya View Post
            I'm sorry, Life&Roll.

            Your English is so spotless that I just assumed it must be your native language, and so you must be from some English-speaking (presumably, Western) country. But then again, I guess India very nearly qualifies as one .

            I do still believe that when it comes down to it, what you need is to make your mother understand, somehow, that you want to live your own life. I have no suggestions for how to do that beyond what others have already said: look for ways to have your own transportation, etc.

            Good luck in any case!
            Thanks Saranoya I am actually a freelance writer and work for many foreign clients.

            Anyway, I have now resolved. I am going to assert myself and show as much independence as I can. So far, I have been letting them take charge out of love and respect. But no more. I still love and respect them, but they crossed the limit of yesterday. Now, no more Goody Two Shoes. I need my independence and I will get it.
            Last edited by Life&Roll; 20 Dec 2011, 3:55 PM.

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              #36
              life& roll

              I can see where they would worry about you if you can't get in and out of your chair that would cause them to be more protective of you. An hour to the mall from home would get very hard to do if i was your parents i would become very tired of that.

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                #37
                Originally posted by dispatchjen View Post
                life& roll

                I can see where they would worry about you if you can't get in and out of your chair that would cause them to be more protective of you. An hour to the mall from home would get very hard to do if i was your parents i would become very tired of that.
                You are not understanding. It wasn't just a trip to the mall! It was a dream come true. I have been a fan of the star since I was 5 years old. I watch him everyday, talk about him non-stop! And they know about this.

                If they respected my feelings, it wasn't difficult. My dad travels 45 minutes everyday for work. He could have easily get a cab for me and my mom could have easily come with me. But they chose to break my heart for their own comfort.

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                  #38
                  you say that they did this for their own comfort maybe they were thinking about you... by the things you have said you are not indepentant at all.....do you realize that if the person was that big of a star the place im sure was packed...if you can't even get back in your own chair what would have happened if you and your mom had of gotten separated and you needed assistance??????? with that many people it is possible that you would not even be with her.......im not trying to be mean or hateful but you need to become more indepentant instead of complaining that your parents dont do what you want when you want....They love you and care for you i have seen some peoples post on here that were put in a nursing home what if your parents did that to you?

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                    #39
                    I am sorry, I didn't know you were living in India. I did look at your profile and mostly Americans haven't filled out the place they live.

                    I know they don't let you live alone in India. Even the Indian girls in Norway are not living alone and don't leave the family before they marry. I have a Indian neighbor friend, she is devorced and no Indian people in Norway talk with her.

                    And Saranoya, if one of my children was disable, I would let her/leave home at the normal time. I have a friend with C.P and she left home at 19, did stay a year in USA and then she was a year in Sout Africa and then she bought her appartment here in Oslo. I don't know any disable people over 20 years living with their parents. I have been disable since I was 15 and I left home when I was 22. I needed money to buy an appartment before I left and my parents didn't mind at all.
                    TH 12, 43 years post

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                      #40
                      I assumed that you were from the u.s.
                      your location, and culture make a lot of difference in what is available to you.

                      be careful about asserting your independance, it is important that you should be treated as an adult, but not at the expense of safety or a home. I hope you can eventually tell your parents that you were just very dissappointed, and felt helpless and no one wants to feel helpless.

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                        #41
                        Originally posted by jody View Post

                        who was it that you wanted to see?
                        Was it Justin Bieber lmao.
                        A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo! - borrowed from Honey boo boo child

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                          #42
                          Have your parents ever spent any time in your chair to see what it is like? Or are they open to spend some time in it to see life from your view? I did this with my wife and she only lasted 5 min in it and could not do it because it was to hard for her but at the same time it was hard for me to see her in a wheelchair.

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                            #43
                            That is such a good suggestion Todd. My husband keeps my old chair out in his shop and he rolls back and forth to the house to grab a beer or pee. He always says, damn baby, how the hell do you close these doors behind you? Lol. He said he has learned how annoying some of the smallest things are like closing doors behind you, reaching things on the top shelf in the refridgerator, and sliding through somewhat narrow door ways with out slicing his knuckles off, hopping up the slight curb in our garage and not tipping over. He ENJOYS riding my hand bike though. The neighbors think it hilarious to see him riding it at high rates of speed down our long driveway and turning it up on 2 wheels opposed to 3.

                            When I first became paralyzed my dad would use my chair while I wasn't in it to get the "idea" so he could come up with better ways to make the house accessible.

                            It's pretty enlightening for the "walkies" as we call them in our family.
                            DFW TEXAS- T-10 since March 20th, 1994

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                              #44
                              If he wants a real challenge have him make you some cookies. That is great the walkies in your family are open to seeing life from a different perspective. It is a great exercise for walkies that are open to it.

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                                #45
                                Originally posted by Life&Roll View Post
                                About talking to my parents, then there is no possibility for that. I have tried everything. They think they know what's the best for me. But the truth is, they have no idea what it feels to be me, and they don't even want to find out.
                                I wanted to say I empathize with you. My parents aren't as bad as yours based on my interpretation of what you write. However, I do know what it is like to be injured young as well as to be at the mercy of people who don't understand, are somewhat in denial, and just can't seem to wrap their minds around what you need whether it's because of apathy, indifference, or financial issues.

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