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Am I being sensitive? Feeling segregated.

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  • #16
    Originally posted by LindaT View Post
    It is not an excuse, but sometimes I wonder if people just don't know any better.
    Is there any parent that you have known well enough to mention it to?
    yep, probably one of those stupid things
    ""gosh we don't know, we've just always sat at that end""
    We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
    Ronald Reagan

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    • #17
      Originally posted by brucec View Post
      yep, probably one of those stupid things
      ""gosh we don't know, we've just always sat at that end""
      Exactly. Stupid, but logical to them. And again, not making excuses Emi. You have every right to feel the way you do.

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      • #18
        The reality is that the group (any group) does not feel comfortable being around a cripple. I doubt that they even know it. I get it all of the time at school. I have been in the department for 13 years, and have some pretty good friends who are always happy to stop and chat, invite me to lunch, etc. When the group goes anywhere that there is only a small area that is accessible, I get semi-abandoned in that area. It used to bug me, but I know that it is more of a herd instinct than a slight, so I just let it slide.
        Don - Grad Student Emeritus
        T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

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        • #19
          Can you start to take note on who you might have a greater rapport with? A few who seem warmer/accepting when you do chat. Then maybe once that's further established, you can lightheartedly say "Hey, maybe I'll see you down at my end, the view is the same and I took a good shower today!" You know, maybe an icebreaker will help them get that 'oh yea' moment.

          It's unfortunate that in addition us having to deal with our disability, we have to be the one to initiate social interaction to help rid the uncertain feeling many AB have on socializing with us, but if we don't then we often end up alone in group gatherings.
          .
          "If ya don't have it in the hips, ya better have it in the lips..." ~ Charlie - Villa Dulce

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          • #20
            It is always like this though. I am not ever sure what to do about it. When I was in school I had the same group of girls that we had class with once a week for over a year. After class they all went out the door not far from the classroom. I would go around to the ramp and come out by the same door. Noone ever thought to go out with me. Once I said to a girl, come this way you can see what the ramped door is like, kind of joking around. She did, but just that once. It can be a very isolating thing at times, this stupid chair.
            If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


            Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

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            • #21
              well as always, i now feel less alone. at least its not just me. i'm kinda shy at the best of times sooo....
              Emily, C-8 sensory incomplete mom to a 8 year old and a preschooler. TEN! years post.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by addiesue View Post
                It is always like this though. I am not ever sure what to do about it. When I was in school I had the same group of girls that we had class with once a week for over a year. After class they all went out the door not far from the classroom. I would go around to the ramp and come out by the same door. Noone ever thought to go out with me. Once I said to a girl, come this way you can see what the ramped door is like, kind of joking around. She did, but just that once. It can be a very isolating thing at times, this stupid chair.
                I don't know what you can do about it. I don't know you that well, but if I was going to school with you I'd want to be your friend. I'm in school now and I have to say that the kids in my classes (except my math class) are very kind and inclusive to me. I have the most fun in my education classes, my classmates make sure I am able to see their presentations and that I have a clear pathway thru the aisles in this small classroom. Whenever there is a post (like this one) I always rack my brain to recall if I've ever felt slighted (I'm sure there have been instances) but even so, it doesn't really bother me. I'm just happy to be out and about. Anyway, I hope it gets better for you and Emi.
                A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo! - borrowed from Honey boo boo child

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                • #23
                  I suspect it's the parent in a wheelchair thing. They're probably gossiping and making snap judgements based on their limited knowledge. My brother's neighbour is a hockey mom and switched to a local league this year - she is so sick of the politics and cliques ... obviously she's not included either.
                  Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                  T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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                  • #24
                    Your feelings are norm. Maybe have them over other than ice day?
                    Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

                    I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

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                    • #25
                      i've had this in school and when i was younger with my friends. but now if this happens in a social setting, i always make sure i have a drink in my hand, lol and then quietly sip in a corner and listen to conversation around me. i like to not talk so it seems ok with me lol

                      i have no idea how to help you with this. this does seem to be an AB thing and i guess maybe try to invite parents over to your home for non skating things like a birthday or a card game? i dunno.
                      "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                      http://www.elportavoz.com/

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                      • #26
                        Just a thought.... how about take a box of doughnuts or something similar to bribe them over to your sitting area. Those AB's are easy to trap

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                        • #27
                          Love the image of a doughnut trap at a hocky rink!!!
                          Don - Grad Student Emeritus
                          T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by wtf View Post
                            I don't know what you can do about it. I don't know you that well, but if I was going to school with you I'd want to be your friend. I'm in school now and I have to say that the kids in my classes (except my math class) are very kind and inclusive to me. I have the most fun in my education classes, my classmates make sure I am able to see their presentations and that I have a clear pathway thru the aisles in this small classroom. Whenever there is a post (like this one) I always rack my brain to recall if I've ever felt slighted (I'm sure there have been instances) but even so, it doesn't really bother me. I'm just happy to be out and about. Anyway, I hope it gets better for you and Emi.
                            We are friends and tak during class, go out occasionally. But there is often this "separateness" it's the same most places I go. I am finished with school now so it's not an issue, just another example. I get what emi is talking about.
                            If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


                            Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Emi2 View Post
                              well as always, i now feel less alone. at least its not just me. i'm kinda shy at the best of times sooo....
                              You're not alone. Befriend someone who is similarly injured as you are, open up, and you'll realize how most, if not all, of what you feel and go through is felt by that person as well.

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Donno View Post
                                Love the image of a doughnut trap at a hocky rink!!!
                                I did too.

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