Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

What would you do?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • What would you do?

    My parents have 2 tables, one I can get under (dining room) the other I can’t (back porch) to eat at whenever I am at their house.

    Asked long time ago to eat Christmas Eve dinner in the dining room and they said yes. Don’t know if it was because I brought a date that year but the next time I asked they said no.

    This year I brought it up and they told me no, they can “feed me at another table”. Mom, Dad, brother and Sister in law eat at their table, I'll eat by myself in another room.

    Don’t really care the front porch and front door threshold I have to pop wheelies to get through, but the bathroom is huge and covered with the back yard.

    Am I missing something but isn’t the idea of a holiday meal (Thanksgiving) is to share a meal and eating in two different rooms defeats the purpose? Didn't go last year (Had a broken leg) don't know what to do, he's 87 she is 78 and I feel guilty.

  • #2
    Because meals are usually the high point of holiday family gatherings, I agree that having you at the same table is important. At times, my family has had too many to fit around the main table and had to add a second. However, even it was placed beside/near the main table. Did they give you some reason the dinning room is not acceptable? If there is a legitimate reason, maybe your brother and sister could switch the tables around for the meal. I guess I would be a bit upset if my family or friends did not accommodate my needs when possible.
    You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @
    http://www.rstce.pitt.edu/RSTCE_Reso...imb_Injury.pdf

    See my personal webpage @
    http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

    Comment


    • #3
      sometimes one just needs to throw a hissy fit..frankly this would be one of those times for me! lol

      "If you can't eat in the dining room where I am able to eat together with you, then I will be giving thanks elsewhere!"
      "The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” ~Carlos Castaneda

      Comment


      • #4
        My mother is 87. I just stick with: Yes ma, sure ma. Then do what I want. People are set in their ways, and it accomplishes nothing to fight with them.

        Comment


        • #5
          I agree with baldfat. At their ages I would just agree, knowing that you will only be in one place for the length of time it takes to eat and then you can talk to everyone who is there for the rest of the afternoon.

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm sorry you are faced with this dilemma Cris. It just seems so arbitrary and even cruel. There are so many ways to easily make this accommodation. If it were my parents, I would have to have a discussion about "what's the problem," and be prepared to have a few reasonable suggestions on how I could join in with the rest of the family and guests for dinner.

            All the best,
            GJ

            Comment


            • #7
              Your post made me sad. Can't blocks be put under the table legs so you can get under the table?

              Sometimes I just sit sideways beside the table on an end for example. Not real comfortable, but it works.

              On a lighter note: my son's table has spindle legs. He discovered that the legs fit perfectly in large Lego blocks, so he raises the table with a couple of lego blocks under each leg.
              C5/C6

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Cris View Post
                My parents have 2 tables, one I can get under (dining room) the other I can’t (back porch) to eat at whenever I am at their house.

                Asked long time ago to eat Christmas Eve dinner in the dining room and they said yes. Don’t know if it was because I brought a date that year but the next time I asked they said no.

                This year I brought it up and they told me no, they can “feed me at another table”. Mom, Dad, brother and Sister in law eat at their table, I'll eat by myself in another room.

                Don’t really care the front porch and front door threshold I have to pop wheelies to get through, but the bathroom is huge and covered with the back yard.

                Am I missing something but isn’t the idea of a holiday meal (Thanksgiving) is to share a meal and eating in two different rooms defeats the purpose? Didn't go last year (Had a broken leg) don't know what to do, he's 87 she is 78 and I feel guilty.
                jesus christ, i dont know the answer to this, but if i were your brother or your sis-in-law, i'd be eating at the 'other table' with you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I agree with baldfatdad and Eileen. At that age, I wouldn't care. They are old, let them have the things their way.
                  TH 12, 43 years post

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    just because they are old, does't give them license to be rude. in fact, at their age, they should know better! i'd discuss this with your family. a small thing like that makes one feel excluded by their family.
                    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                    http://www.elportavoz.com/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm sure there's a lot we don't know 'bout your family, but the whole focus of Thanksgiving is the eating TOGETHER. Can you roll up next to the table and use a lap tray- or cookie sheet- to hold your plate?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by crypticgimp View Post
                        just because they are old, does't give them license to be rude. in fact, at their age, they should know better! i'd discuss this with your family. a small thing like that makes one feel excluded by their family.

                        YEAH cryptic! ! no excuse ..even bigots can change on their death bed ..never too old to admit you are wrong. and make amends. If they cannot accomodate you...JUST DONT GO> (I am still having a hissy fit for you!)
                        "The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” ~Carlos Castaneda

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm not a fan of the "they are old" argument either. How old do you have to be to get a pass on your behavior, compassion, and love for your family members (especially if you are not mentally incapacitated). However old that is, I don't want to get there.

                          All the best,
                          GJ

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Old is not an excuse. That's just plain ass mean and disrespectful of you. You're not a second class citizen because of your injury. Educate your folks, let 'em know how you feel. I wish you a happy Thanksgiving.
                            Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
                            Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

                            Thanks!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I would say that if they want me to sit alone on the porch, I will take that as them trying to tell me they don't want me there and so will not be attending.

                              I also think the whole age thing is NOT an excuse! Wow!

                              I've had to have a similar conversation with my father and stepmother once. I was invited to Thanksgiving, but told I would have to leave my service dog in the garage this year. I replied that asking me to leave my SD in the garage was like asking me to leave my wheelchair in the garage, and if she was unwelcome then I would consider myself unwelcome as well. Thats all I said on the matter, and I later heard from my dad that my step mom had changed her mind. Then I just had to spend the day reminding my dad to NOT pet Tessa while she's working!!
                              Board Member of Assistance Dog Advocacy Project working in Education. Feel free to ask me any service dog questions!

                              I am not paralyzed. I have a genetic connective tissue disorder with neuro complications and a movement disorder.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X