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    #16
    OK, rights and wrongs aside and just a practical suggestion; couldn't you sit at the big table with your plate on a tray on your lap?

    For the record I think their attitude stinks!

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      #17
      the only time you get a pass when your old is with your diet. if you're over 80 and want to have an extra piece of pie then screw calories or cholesterol. eat up!

      one year for xmas my mother told me it was too much of a hassle and bother to come get me for xmas, then demanded that i rearrange my schedule for boxing day(my friends all get together as that is our xmas) to accommodate her. i said no, if i'm too much of a bother for her then she doesnt get to see me. i spent xmas with my best friend and her family that year.
      "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
      http://www.elportavoz.com/

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        #18
        I am a bit unsettled about this. If I request an accommodation and the response is no, my response is "why" or "what is the problem?" It would not matter if it was my parents or a complete stranger. Is there "the rest of the story" that might clarify your situation?
        You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @
        http://www.rstce.pitt.edu/RSTCE_Reso...imb_Injury.pdf

        See my personal webpage @
        http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

        Comment


          #19
          Originally posted by crypticgimp View Post
          just because they are old, does't give them license to be rude. in fact, at their age, they should know better! i'd discuss this with your family. a small thing like that makes one feel excluded by their family.
          They are not rude, they don't understand. I have done things for me parents noone will believe, like making a whole Christmas dinner sitting on the floor in my parents' appartment and the wheelchair in my car outside because my parents couldn't accept the chair. Next Christmas my father was dead and my mother in a nursing home.

          Would it have been better if I had been quarreling with them. My mother with Alzheimer and my father crying because he was sure it was the last Christmas we were celebrating all together. My daughter was running her feet off for helping out, makeing the table, but she had never made the Christmas food before.
          TH 12, 43 years post

          Comment


            #20
            Originally posted by woman from Europe View Post
            They are not rude, they don't understand. I have done things for me parents noone will believe, like making a whole Christmas dinner sitting on the floor in my parents' appartment and the wheelchair in my car outside because my parents couldn't accept the chair. Next Christmas my father was dead and my mother in a nursing home.

            Would it have been better if I had been quarreling with them. My mother with Alzheimer and my father crying because he was sure it was the last Christmas we were celebrating all together. My daughter was running her feet off for helping out, makeing the table, but she had never made the Christmas food before.
            Being old with a mental condition and family members who are anticipating the eminent death of that family member are a different kettle of fish, than what the original poster, Cris, is describing. From my standpoint, and with the limited information we have about the health of family members and other family dynamics, these "old people", who are Cris's parents are just being rude, insensitive, and cruel.

            All the best,
            GJ

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              #21
              have you pissed them off?
              We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
              Ronald Reagan

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                #22
                Originally posted by brucec View Post
                have you pissed them off?

                Unfortunately, I must have it has been this way since my accident 30 years ago ruined their lives. Even though I went back to my dorm room 6 months after discharge and haven’t lived at their house since late 80’s, they have done so much for me.

                Did not modify the house at all, but told me how “I tore’” everything up. When my coworkers found out I was taking my showers outside in January with the garden hose, they made me a shower on the porch with hot water, I still had to pop wheelie over the sliding glass door tracks.

                As a C6 with no balance and trying to eat, never mind having nothing to lean on for stability, isn’t worth the pain. Can't or won't put up with it in my 50's like i did in my 20's.

                There is one place in their entire house I can sit and talk, leaning on the arm at the end of the couch in the family room, which blocks the way to the bathroom the other four people use.

                You can tell how much I look forward to the holidays or visiting my parents, so I doubt I will go this year.

                Comment


                  #23
                  That's messed up, man. I wouldn't show up - seems from the date of your injury they've thought only of themselves and their possessions over their own child. Family is family, it's supposed to mean they have your back. I'm sorry Cris, maybe you can spend the holiday with some buddies.
                  Originally posted by Cris View Post
                  Unfortunately, I must have it has been this way since my accident 30 years ago ruined their lives. Even though I went back to my dorm room 6 months after discharge and haven’t lived at their house since late 80’s, they have done so much for me.

                  Did not modify the house at all, but told me how “I tore’” everything up. When my coworkers found out I was taking my showers outside in January with the garden hose, they made me a shower on the porch with hot water, I still had to pop wheelie over the sliding glass door tracks.

                  As a C6 with no balance and trying to eat, never mind having nothing to lean on for stability, isn’t worth the pain. Can't or won't put up with it in my 50's like i did in my 20's.

                  There is one place in their entire house I can sit and talk, leaning on the arm at the end of the couch in the family room, which blocks the way to the bathroom the other four people use.

                  You can tell how much I look forward to the holidays or visiting my parents, so I doubt I will go this year.
                  Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
                  Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

                  Thanks!

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Originally posted by Cris View Post
                    Did not modify the house at all, but told me how “I tore’” everything up. When my coworkers found out I was taking my showers outside in January with the garden hose, they made me a shower on the porch with hot water, I still had to pop wheelie over the sliding glass door tracks.
                    ......... speechless.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Under the circumtances, stay home or go to a local open public dinner that various organizations provide at Thanksgiving. Be thankful you do not have to go to your parents place. If your siblings are not in the camp with your parents, start working on a get together with them at Christmas or New Years. I would have written parents like that off long ago. I would be ashamed to associate with people so fucked up.
                      You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @
                      http://www.rstce.pitt.edu/RSTCE_Reso...imb_Injury.pdf

                      See my personal webpage @
                      http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Originally posted by Cris View Post
                        Did not modify the house at all, but told me how “I tore’” everything up. When my coworkers found out I was taking my showers outside in January with the garden hose, they made me a shower on the porch with hot water, I still had to pop wheelie over the sliding glass door tracks.
                        I wasn't going to comment until I read this.... Don't bother. Clearly, they really don't care about your needs. This makes me super angry; my family is not perfect, but there is no way in hell I'd ever be asked to shower outside or be excluded from a family dinner like that. In fact, just last week we went to Edmonton and had dinner with family at their house, I couldn't sit at the table as it was too high. I was content watching tv, but the next night we went out for dinner so I wouldn't have to sit by myself and they put us on the second floor, my dad was going to carry me up the stairs (they moved us to the first floor).

                        My point is, their age and your injury are not an excuse for them to treat you like crap, you deserve btter. Don't put up with it.

                        WG

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Originally posted by Cris View Post
                          Unfortunately, I must have it has been this way since my accident 30 years ago ruined their lives. Even though I went back to my dorm room 6 months after discharge and haven’t lived at their house since late 80’s, they have done so much for me.

                          Did not modify the house at all, but told me how “I tore’” everything up. When my coworkers found out I was taking my showers outside in January with the garden hose, they made me a shower on the porch with hot water, I still had to pop wheelie over the sliding glass door tracks.

                          As a C6 with no balance and trying to eat, never mind having nothing to lean on for stability, isn’t worth the pain. Can't or won't put up with it in my 50's like i did in my 20's.

                          There is one place in their entire house I can sit and talk, leaning on the arm at the end of the couch in the family room, which blocks the way to the bathroom the other four people use.

                          You can tell how much I look forward to the holidays or visiting my parents, so I doubt I will go this year.
                          My mind boggles at this level of disrespect shown to you. I have changed my mind completely, and think you should blow them all off and treat yourself to a nice dinner out at a restaurant if you are able to get there. I am very sorry that you have such insensitive louts in your family.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            my goodness!!! seriously it's amazing that such people exist! don't put up with their bs for another holiday!! treat yourself to a fancy restaurant and have fun with friends!
                            "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                            http://www.elportavoz.com/

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Cris, this is entirely your fault, so stop your whining! If you hadn't gone and gotten yourself crippled, everything would have been just fine. You should be grateful that they still let you come over to visit after tearing up the whole house with your wheelchair. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have a cripple for a son? Haven't you heard that it is always the victim's fault???
                              Don - Grad Student Emeritus
                              T3 ASIA A 27 years post injury

                              Comment


                                #30
                                I'd go, but tell them because you're sitting at another table, you hope it's their last Thanksgiving.

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