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I hate October! (rant)

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  • #31
    I am so sorry about the spread of your grandma's cancer, and this difficult choice the family must make. I hope that her pain and other symptoms can be controlled and that the siblings can arrive at a unified decision (yes, out of earshot of your grandmother) that will spare the family another dimension of suffering.
    MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

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    • #32
      Sorry it turned into a family fued when she had to hear of it.

      geez. Sorry Lisa. Be the voice of reason you normally are.

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      • #33
        I don't know where you are Lisa but up here most nursing homes have a palliative care program (similar to hospice care) in place as part of their regular care - maybe you can find out if that is in place at the nursing home you are looking at .............

        In the mean time this is for you -

        Obieone
        ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


        " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
        Jane Siberry

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        • #34
          .....
          Last edited by grommet; 10-29-2011, 01:20 PM.

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          • #35
            Yep. I am very conservative and anti-PC, too. Like it or not, that's the way I am - call it like it is!

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            • #36
              Grandma was very upset today, seems as if my mom and aunts and uncle have decided nursing home is the way to go and she is not liking it one bit. Honestly it probably is the best option. I soooo wish I had a clone of me, I would take her in in a heartbeat but with only one of me, there is no way. I did offer but told everyone they would have to help, needless to say that didn't work. Thought everything was going smooth till my uncle called my aunt asking if grandma could sign her name, he's trying to get the house signed over to him now so the nursing home won't take it, stupid stupid stupid, doesn't realize that should have already taken place, too late now. I tell you, I think this is all just ridiculous, instead of worrying about grandma now they are starting to worry about her "things". Where is the human values in people.
              David and I got out for the evening, we went to see Lynard Skynard and ZZ top, just got David tucked in for the night, I'm trying to relax a bit first.
              Thanks for listening to me, this really does help just get things off my chest.

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              • #37
                Heartrending as it is to see how much the nursing home option upsets your grandma, in the days ahead she's going to need acute round-the-clock care - family members probably couldn't provide it, even if they were all equally willing to help out. There will be hospital admissions as your grandma's condition worsens, along with the need for immediate medical consultations, medical supplies and equipment - her care would be more easily coordinated in a professional or semi-professional setting. Obieone makes a really good point about palliative care programs available in nursing homes (not sure what the situation is where you live, but a nursing home would probably be better equipped to manage end-stage treatment than a private residence).

                How true about it being too late for your uncle to think about having the house signed over to him. Families are reluctant to think about things like that prior to an emergency, but by the time a crisis hits, the opportunity to save the home from seizure is gone.
                MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

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                • #38
                  Obie - thanks, I am trying to find out about pallative care but my quick search is just saying thats at the hospitals, not nursing homes. I will have my mom ask more today.

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                  • #39
                    If things were not stressing enough, to have uncle acting like that is all you need.
                    Your heart is so huge I am not surprised you want to take her in, but you don't need me to tell you hopw very full your plate is and how unreliable relatiives end up being when the times comes for them to pitch in and help.
                    Is the facility close to your home?
                    How was ZZTop? We saw then at an outdoor concert about 6 years ago and they were outstanding. I wasn't crazy about the direction they took in the mid eighties and was glad they got back to bluesier roots.
                    I hope you did not have some of the "outing" adventures that keep us on our toes.
                    Hang in there Lisa.

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                    • #40
                      Just an update, Grandma died November 15th and we had her funeral today. She was placed in a nursing home but only lasted a few weeks there. She was bright and spot on the day before and the nurses said she even had breakfast that morning but took a quick turn mid morning. We all made it there to say good by. David was actually in surgery for his gall bladder when I got the call but fortunately his uncle had went with me to sit and wait, so I got the call and left him there to be there for David when he woke up. I left before grandma past but made it back when David was ready to go home, dropped David and his uncle off at home and then went back to say my final good by to grandma before they came to get her.
                      David has only taken 1 pain pill since his gall bladder surgery, amazingly his leg doesn't even hurt now??? Its still swollen but not hurting.

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                      • #41
                        My sincere condolences.
                        Daniel

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                        • #42
                          Oh, what a tough autumn you've had. I'm so sorry for your loss, and at the same time glad that your grandma passed in a peaceful way that allowed all of you to communicate with her. It's indeed a blessing that you were able to be with both David and your grandma on that day.

                          Best wishes to David on his recovery - sounds like he's doing really well!
                          MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

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                          • #43
                            Sorry to hear things went so quickly. She is in a better place now.

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                            • #44
                              Originally posted by Bonnette View Post
                              Oh, what a tough autumn you've had. I'm so sorry for your loss, and at the same time glad that your grandma passed in a peaceful way that allowed all of you to communicate with her. It's indeed a blessing that you were able to be with both David and your grandma on that day.

                              Best wishes to David on his recovery - sounds like he's doing really well!
                              +1. Sincere condolences and best wishes.

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                              • #45
                                Prayers going out your way, stay strong!

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