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  • #61
    Originally posted by LindaT
    Since my husband was in the hospital and badly needed that piece of equipment-which I had to have a spot big enough to lower the ramp to unload-that was the reason that I felt it was ok to break the law. It was not going to wheel up to his room on it's own.
    It was not for my own personal convenience. It was his van bringing his equipment to him.
    What would have you done?
    Good nite.
    One of the things I've already mentioned:
    1. brought someone along to guard it while I parked legally
    2. brought someone along to help me carry it from a legal space
    3. brought a cart/dolly to carry it by myself
    4. arranged for someone to come outside and accept it at the door while I went and parked legally.

    If he's not getting in or out of the van then this IS for your convenience. Don't try to dress it up otherwise. Those are your excuses.

    It is NEVER ok to use a H/C spot for any reason other than getting the person with the placard in or out of the vehicle. PERIOD.

    All that said, I understand that it's hard to be a caregiver (until recently I cared for my brain-injured, blind SO as well as my own SCI) and there are times when you are so tired and spent that you feel that if you don't cut corners you'll just scream. After all , everyone else does and who could it hurt? Please remember, that the person who is illegally blocking the space that your husband needs may have all the same rationalizations that you've made here.

    You cannot ever allow it to be ok or it's ok for anyone to make a personal exception for their own circumstance and then people like your husband, or me, or many of the others here are screwed. We legal users above all others must be scrupulously lawful in our use of these precious spaces or we have no moral leg to stand on when educating others.
    Last edited by JenJen; 03-19-2010, 02:37 AM.
    My blog: Living Life at Butt Level

    Ignite Phoenix #9 - Wheelchairs and Wisdom: Living Life at Butt Level

    "I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

    Dawna Markova Author of Open Mind.

    Comment


    • #62
      Someone gave this to me years ago. I tried to clean it up a little to make it somewhat readable. (I hope!!)

      http://s65.photobucket.com/albums/h2...gvioLATION.jpg

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      • #63
        Did that picture show up?

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        • #64
          Parking violation message

          http://www.apparelyzed.com/parking/P...-VIOLATION.pdf

          Like this one. A while back I bought a pack of stickers that had a note that said "I had no respect for the handicap I parked in thier space". I would wet one and cover thier rear license plate (incase a cop got behind them and would pull them over for a covered plate) and I would stick one right in the middle of the view area of their windshield. They were heck to remove once dried, just a little reminder of their lack of respect for us. Have not seen them since but maybe someone could get creative.
          Helga

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          • #65
            I place a super sticky bumper sticker on their door that says "PARK BETWEEN THE LINES, ASSHOLE!"

            No, I don't really do that. I just curse a bunch and then flag some person to give me a hand and pull me onto the lift - or just wait for the other driver to leave.

            When I see the striping is narrow, I park with my tires on the edge of the opposite line to give as much room as possible in case someone does what that pic indicates.
            .
            "If ya don't have it in the hips, ya better have it in the lips..." ~ Charlie - Villa Dulce

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            • #66
              One other pet peeve of mine, is when handicapped people park in HC spaces, when there is a normal space free and open, RIGHT NEXT to the HC space.

              And I'm talking about people who do not need extra space around their car, they have a bad knee say.

              They could have parked 6 ft further away, but they park in the middle of a HC space lavishly surrounded in hatched box area, when they don't need it. the HC van that does need that extra area is then deprived of the space.



              I agree its harder to get upset about HC card users using HC spaces.....but a little thought might see them use the regular spaces that are almost as close, if they are free.

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by JenJen View Post
                One of the things I've already mentioned:
                1. brought someone along to guard it while I parked legally
                2. brought someone along to help me carry it from a legal space
                3. brought a cart/dolly to carry it by myself
                4. arranged for someone to come outside and accept it at the door while I went and parked legally.
                If he's not getting in or out of the van then this IS for your convenience. Don't try to dress it up otherwise. Those are your excuses.

                It is NEVER ok to use a H/C spot for any reason other than getting the person with the placard in or out of the vehicle. PERIOD.

                All that said, I understand that it's hard to be a caregiver (until recently I cared for my brain-injured, blind SO as well as my own SCI) and there are times when you are so tired and spent that you feel that if you don't cut corners you'll just scream. After all , everyone else does and who could it hurt? Please remember, that the person who is illegally blocking the space that your husband needs may have all the same rationalizations that you've made here.

                You cannot ever allow it to be ok or it's ok for anyone to make a personal exception for their own circumstance and then people like your husband, or me, or many of the others here are screwed. We legal users above all others must be scrupulously lawful in our use of these precious spaces or we have no moral leg to stand on when educating others.
                Good Morning.
                Numbers 1-4 were not an option for reasons that are too long to get into here.
                repeat-not an option. It is just the 2 of us most of the time.It was late in the day when I was even able to find someone who would shower him as they were afraid of trachea and level of quad. This was a nightmare hospital stay as it was-I don't you don't care about the details, but take my word. I was desperate to get that shower chair to him. Getting bed baths after only being able to shit in your bed a few weeks is pretty miserable.
                The chair has to be taken out of the van just like the power chair-through the ramp which needs a wide parking spot.
                People like my husband were "screwed" at the time, trust me. I had to fight just to get him home from that stay as all they wanted to do was put him in a nursing home and would not even address him as a human because he was not talking.
                Sometimes we caregivers just do the best we can for those who love and that is what I did. I am not a terrible person.
                It is pretty depressing right now that you can not understand why I needed to make that exception.
                I don't consider this an excuse,iconsider it a reason.
                Sorry I even brought it up as discussion.

                Comment


                • #68
                  Originally posted by teena View Post
                  I do not want to hijack this thread or cause WWIII, but just a gentle reminder that not all handicaps are visible. One of those boys may have had a serious health condition that made that tag as legal as anyone else's. Only those boys and God and the Dr. know for sure...

                  If they were parking there for an illegal reason, then yes, they were wrong.

                  But what if the tag belonged to their Mom or Grandma and they were simply parking there to pick her up from the mall? Maybe SHE was in a wheelchair, or maybe she had a lung condition or heart condition in which she could not walk far and had to rent a wheelchair in the mall...

                  Who knows?

                  But I know this is a very touchy subject with everyone, but please please don't snap judge. (and remember, I said I was just saying all this gently...)

                  I have a birth defect of hip/arthritis...and I DO have a h/c tag. And once at the mall, a man and woman said rather loudly as I walked by...those spaces are RESERVED for people who are handicapped!!! I said just as loudly...well, some handicaps can't be SEEN.

                  Have a great rest of the week!!!

                  Teena
                  Sorry Tena, there wasn't a damn thing wrong with either one of them. There was a world of difference between these two perfectly healthy teens, and you with a bad hip and arthritis. They had no hidden anything. They were wrong, I knew it, they knew it.

                  And, the car was a 2seater beater, grandma was not getting into it.


                  I carry around a pack of these; they are not stickers, just notes. I got them from the Governor's Office of Texas. Sadly, I got the very last few packs, no funding left to get more printed they said.
                  "a T10, who'd Rather be ridin'; than rollin'"

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                  • #69
                    Hey, LindaT, I'm afraid you're not gonna "win" this argument. I personally have no opinion about that situation, but obviously JenJen does, as do you. Maybe you two could agree to disagree? That way, it could be 'dropped' with no further hard feelings. Just my opinion.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by Coleen View Post
                      Hey, LindaT, I'm afraid you're not gonna "win" this argument. I personally have no opinion about that situation, but obviously JenJen does, as do you. Maybe you two could agree to disagree? That way, it could be 'dropped' with no further hard feelings. Just my opinion.
                      I think that is a great idea Coleen. I feel bad enough.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        LindaT, when I first started, I got some 'bad feelings' myself, not realizing that a lot of people here at CC tend to be brutally honest. I know it's hard, but try not to take it into yourself. PM me if you'd like.
                        Last edited by Coleen; 03-19-2010, 12:02 PM. Reason: spelling

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Linda, for what it is worth, you are SO not a bad person...you actually CARE, I can tell...

                          You are a newbie here, and the parking spot issue is a hot bed of opinions and anyone who says anything about it is sure to get their feelings hurt one way or the other.

                          Just like every SCI is different, every parking situation is different too.

                          In my state, handicapped tag users can move the handicapped tags from one vehicle to another as long as they are in the vehicle and have the extra card with them that works like a registration card. In other words, if my car broke down, and I had a friend to take me someplace, I then could take my hangtag and the card and ride in their vehicle and be legally parked as long as the hangtag was in place and the registration card was available for inspection.

                          I'm sure that nobody got sick or died because Linda parked in that space to unload the shower chair, and the bottom line is that her husband got cared for in a compassionate way, and she did the very best she could in a horrific situation.

                          I also am sure she would have moved her vehicle immediately if someone had needed the space she used for that brief few moments.

                          Could we all try to treat each other a little bit of kindness here?

                          Have a great weekend!!!

                          Teena

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Originally posted by LindaT View Post
                            I think that is a great idea Coleen. I feel bad enough.

                            Hey LindaT, I've read most of your discussion. I'll make the following points:

                            1) you are a caring caregiver, doing your level best to look after your husband. You are busting your ass with minimal help, and somehow have to shift his bathroom gear. If you were (say) my mom, I would be telling you to park there, since I genuinely don't want my mom to bust her back too.

                            2) unfortunately jenjen is right. AB people have challenges every day involved in moving big things from their cars into places. Say you are returning a big sofa to IKEA, say. Or say you are delivering a box of walkers to a medical supply store. These are real challenges, and all the other AB people have to work out ways to achieve them. We cannot make an exception for a certain AB person moving a big box because the contents of that box are ultimately intended for a HC person.


                            My message to you LindaT, is please don't be discouraged. This is just a discussion here. Rules are about black and white, right and wrong, and have nothing to do with what is morally right.
                            Because, morally, you should be able to park there to assist you in helping a real HC person live. And obese people should not be able to con their doctors into getting a HC card.....

                            Nice to meet you btw LindaT

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              I never said that Linda was a bad person. I'm certain she's not. I fully get how hard it is to be an over-extended care-giver trying your level best to keep all the balls you're juggling in the air. This isn't the life you signed up for.

                              Been there, done that, failed miserably....

                              This is that black and white. The lawful use of those spaces is to load and unload the disabled person into the vehicle. Any other use is illegal. Goes for me too. When I dropped off my wheelchair for repair, I didn't use the H/C spot next to the building. The AB schlepped my chair through the lot because I didn't get out of the vehicle. There are any number of times when it would be convenient for me to use the space when I'm not rightfully allowed to use it. Like all those old dudes sitting in the car while their wife is inside shopping.

                              There is no excuse. There are posts upon posts on the site of well-meaning people who misused the spots and felt because they had a good reason, it was OK. Any time a spot is misused it sends a message that it's ok for others to misuse H/C parking too.

                              We don't use "nobody got sick or died" or "You're a good person" as a legal measure. Frankly, I assumed that Linda was new to this life and unaware of how the spaces are meant to be used.

                              I'm sorry, even fully knowing what's it's like to go months with only a bed bath and remembering my first real shower as an experience better than sex, this was not a life and death emergency. It was a convenience. Actually, the last time I visited David in the hospital and tried to take things to him I had to schlepp through the lot because all the spaces were used. It was 106 here and I had trouble balancing it all on my lap. If I can schlepp a block carrying his stuff, so can you and you should have.

                              Next time, will it be ok to use a space at the grocery store because you really have to hurry for his sake? If it's late at night, who could be hurt?

                              Linda, I think we agree, you're an overworked caregiver, trying to do all you can to take care of your loved one. But you still parked illegally and I hope you never do it again.
                              My blog: Living Life at Butt Level

                              Ignite Phoenix #9 - Wheelchairs and Wisdom: Living Life at Butt Level

                              "I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

                              Dawna Markova Author of Open Mind.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                And for discussion, round 2:

                                http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...9190159AAmhtNW

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