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  • parenting discipline question

    Hi I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right section. I would like some ideas as to how some of you parents or those of you who take care of small children, how do you get the kids to listen? How do you get them to sit in time out? I have a little nephew and I have been trying to get him to listen to me when I say no I mean no. I am at a lost since I am not able to pick him up and I'm in a power chair. Any suggestions would be great!

    Thanks.

  • #2
    Most times I let them know the negative consequences of their behavior. Tonight is friday night and my daughter and I watch Spongebob together. When she refused to help me clear the table after dinner I said "Okay, you don't have to, but that means you don't get to watch spongebob with me tonight". Unless she is really tired (there is no reasoning with a tired four year old) stuff like that usually works.

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    • #3
      Ok well for a 2 year old what are some things I can do?

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      • #4
        Can you toddler proof a laundry room or closet? You may have to physically barricade for time out. I was told to get an egg timer, set it for a minute for each year of age. Don't know how to get him there, but just turn your chair around and block him in for a few minutes of time out.
        Blog:
        Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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        • #5
          Talk with him. It takes time before children listen and you have to explain he has to do what you are saying. Every time he is listening you can reward him. No reward when he doesn't listen.

          Here we often use to give the children a small packet of raisin as a reward or whatever who is not sweet and destroy the teeth. Turkish yogurt sweets are heathty to and is a good reward when they are small. Not the one with nuts inside, small children shouldn't eat nuts. They are just like dogs, you reward them when they do what you say. If the child is like most children, it is working.
          TH 12, 43 years post

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          • #6
            Pick your battles. Sometimes engaging by trying to get control will just escalate the problem. Distract a two year old and try to find another way to get them to want to listen. Make everything a game. Two is very young and they are pushing to see what they can get away with. Make sure they have an energy outlet. Remember they mimic everyone around them. All easier said than done.

            We had huge issues with time out. We held our daughter in time out cause she wouldn't stay and she would fight the entire time. It never worked for her, but my other daughter no problem with time outs. All kids are different. She would throw huge tantrums, for awhile it was three a day. Sometimes I could see them coming and I would say "Jessica don't go there". I would try to give her words to talk it out. If I caught her in time sometimes I could settle her down. If she lost it, it was too late and nothing could be done. She has grown out of those thank goodness, well mostly. We found that the more we were involved in her tantrum the larger it got and the longer it lasted. We tried to ignore and would have to leave the room cause she would grab at us to get our attention. We would go into other rooms of the house, but she would kick at the door and yell and scream. Sometimes we put her in her bedroom and wouldn't let her out until she calmed down. Some kids can be really hard. Over the years her tantrums changed and were not as frequent. Make sure they get enough sleep and watch when and what they eat.

            I hope that helps.

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            • #7
              "I'm sorry what's your name?"
              kid answers.
              "the kid I know doesn't act/behave like that. When he/she comes back let me know".
              Turn and go away (unless of course the kid can be in any danger).

              Follow through on consequences.
              Sorry, you didn't listen when i called etc and there will be no TV for 10 minutes.

              Time out doesn't have to be in a chair/room etc. just stop the activity.

              I've "raised" 5 now on # 6 neices/nephews without having to pick them up.

              They even learn to stop squirming when it takes 20 minutes to change a diaper
              Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

              I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

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              • #8
                thank you for all your suggestions. my little nephew is a climber. he loves to climb up on tables, chairs, couches. i have really no way of getting him off these places. sometimes it might take a sec for an ab to get into the room to get him off. i'd like a way to prevent these things from happening. oh and he loves climbing the stairs to go up. we can't really put gates at the stairs because one stair way has my chair lift which would not be possible and the other is also too complicated.

                i try to distract him with different things. sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. the problem is i'm not the mother and his mom and i don't always see eye to eye on how he should be corrected or his daily schedule should go. i am not sure what to do. the other thing is my power chair can tilt and recline, he loves to make me go up and down using the buttons on the inside of my armrest.

                he does not talk a whole lot either. i have been trying to work with him more. he understands everything though and he mimics everything he sees whether it's in one of his shows or what someone else around him is doing.

                i try to make everything a game and give him praise when he is doing something i want him to do.

                thanks again everyone!!

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                • #9
                  Gotta show them your serious when they're young. My 5 year old knows when I say something I mean it and also that if a punishment is coming its unavoidable even if I gotta call someone to come over and hand it out. Praise the good stuff 100x+.
                  Say what you mean and mean what you say because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind.

                  My Myspace


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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by bailey5774 View Post
                    thank you for all your suggestions. my little nephew is a climber. he loves to climb up on tables, chairs, couches. i have really no way of getting him off these places. sometimes it might take a sec for an ab to get into the room to get him off. i'd like a way to prevent these things from happening. oh and he loves climbing the stairs to go up. we can't really put gates at the stairs because one stair way has my chair lift which would not be possible and the other is also too complicated.

                    i try to distract him with different things. sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. the problem is i'm not the mother and his mom and i don't always see eye to eye on how he should be corrected or his daily schedule should go. i am not sure what to do. the other thing is my power chair can tilt and recline, he loves to make me go up and down using the buttons on the inside of my armrest.

                    he does not talk a whole lot either. i have been trying to work with him more. he understands everything though and he mimics everything he sees whether it's in one of his shows or what someone else around him is doing.

                    i try to make everything a game and give him praise when he is doing something i want him to do.

                    thanks again everyone!!
                    Never let them touch the controls of your chair unless you give permission.

                    Is the mom your sister or sister-in-law.? you'll need to have a discussion w/ her if you're to be the babysitter on parameters.

                    My latest jumps and climbs too.

                    "If you fall off the bed and crack your skull I cannot help you. I suggest we do something else before we both get into trouble".....

                    Think of your day with him as daycare and set up a routine.
                    Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

                    I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

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                    • #11
                      Pick your battles, don;t bother with a power struggle for something that isn;t important. That means thinking before you tell him to do something, is it something that you care enough about to follow up on if he ignores you? But obviously, climbing and the controls of the chair need to be picked!

                      Does he spend a lot of time with you? if not, just give in on the schedule she wants. If yes, kids will figure out really fast that there are different rules for different places. "At Aunt Baileys, we only eat in the kitchen, take a nap after lunch, etc"

                      Is there a room you can totally childproof. And maybe keep it boring. If he climbs on the table .... off you guys go to the den. "Sorry, if you don;t stay off the table, we can only play in here" and park yourself so that he can't open the door and escape. (Note .... you are in there too ... not advocating locking him up, lol). Not sure of course how you could get him off the table in the 1st place to go in the other room .....

                      If coming to your house is a treat, and just a visit. AND you could get his mom to agree ..... climb on the table, and you have to go home. No getting to play at Aunties if that happens. I know this was successful with my kids, when acting up on a play date or at the park. (You hit a friend, throw sand, whatever the issue was, and off we go home). But I am guessing this won;t work unless she goes along with it, or if you are babysitting, not visiting.

                      Can you physically block off the buttons on your chair? Say keep a pillow in your lap or something?

                      At a not very verbal 2, I am thinking once he IS talking more, this will be better. Hang in there until then!


                      Emi2 here has small kids. Maybe she will chime in w. some ideas.
                      T7-8 since Feb 2005

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                      • #12
                        My grandson is two and loves the stairs also. We can't keep him off them and like you can't block the stairs because of the stair lift. We stopped watching our grandson because he would cry constantly if someone wasn't holding him and it had to be a particular someone. He would get so upset if someone wasn't holding him that he would end up throwing up. We didn't want him to throw up so we ended up carrying him around everywhere. It was exhausting. Now when he comes over his mom and/or dad come over also. They can deal with the stairs and him insisting on constant attention.

                        Jess let him sit in her wheelchair and now he wants to wheel her chair around for hours. He didn't even want to go out to play with the other kids unless he could take her chair with him. Good thing kids grow up. Next year it will be a different challenge.

                        Sounds like you are doing a great job.

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                        • #13
                          well, at 2, i would corner my son with my chair and keep him there until he got on my lap. then i would take him to my bedroom (no toys) and make him stay until he calmed down. he learned very quickly to get on my lap when i told him to as he didn't like being cornered.

                          but i am the mom, not the aunt, so i don't know if this would work. i guess it depends on how much he's around you.

                          Last edited by cass; 02-07-2010, 10:31 PM.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by GoTWHeeLs View Post
                            Gotta show them your serious when they're young. My 5 year old knows when I say something I mean it and also that if a punishment is coming its unavoidable even if I gotta call someone to come over and hand it out. Praise the good stuff 100x+.
                            yep.
                            get busy living or get busy dying

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by cass View Post
                              well, at 2, i would corner my son with my chair and keep him there until he got on my lap. then i would take him to my bedroom (no toys) and make him stay until he calmed down. he learned very quickly to get on my lap when i told him to as he didn't like being cornered.

                              but i am the mom, not the aunt, so i don't know if this would work. i guess it depends on how much he's around you.

                              cass, is this you and your son, nice picture.
                              get busy living or get busy dying

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