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    #16
    Originally posted by brucec View Post
    new year eve partys are suppose to be stupid and fun, not sit around and debate who'd ugly or not, should have just let it go and ejoyed the party, it's not your fault if she's ignorant, and a party is not the place to bring it up
    Hi Bruce,
    Well, I definitely did let it go in terms of saying anything. You're right, she is ignorant and nothing I say is going to make a difference. I guess I was just surprised at her bigorty, and hurt a little by it too.

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      #17
      Originally posted by Eileen View Post
      Hi Bruce,
      Well, I definitely did let it go in terms of saying anything. You're right, she is ignorant and nothing I say is going to make a difference. I guess I was just surprised at her bigorty, and hurt a little by it too.
      just don't let ignorant people spoil your fun, most of them are too gone to try and help
      We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
      Ronald Reagan

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        #18
        Originally posted by Eileen View Post
        For anyone with the patience to read this I would like some feedback to see if reaction seems right or too sensitive. I went to a little New Year's eve gathering of some people who live in my condo buiding. As it got closer to midnight the host put the television on to the station with Dick Clark. As the ball started to descend the camera panned the crowd, and then back to Mr. Clark, who was being kissed by his wife. The hostess said "yuck, I wouldn't want to kiss that mouth." I asked why, to which she replied that it was "all messed up." I told her that he had had a stroke and that some of his facial muscles were still affected. She said she didn't care, she could never kiss a mouth like that. I kept my mouth shut out of either politeness or cowardice (could be either) but I was/am really upset at this comment and how superficial and disability related it is. There is nothing wrong with my mouth or my facial muscles, so it is not a personally relevant comment, but I find it mean-spirited and am feeling like a blow against anyone of us is a blow against us all. It is not the first time I have heard her say something like this either. There is a man who lives in this building who is brain injured. He is a pain in the butt in that he has no boundaries and doesn't easily take no as an answer, but he is not what one would think of as ugly. One day she was talking about ugly people and mentioned him. I said that he was a pain in the ass at times, but I didn't think of him as ugly. She then said something about his walk, which is awkward and difficult because of his brain injury. I told her that was his disability and did not make him ugly. She disagreed, apparently feeling safe in her bigotry because I look like I am just sitting. Anyway, it sort of ruined New Year's eve for me, especially because no one else there corrected her or said anything about what she had said. I am just as guilty, sitting there is silence feeling hurt and angry.
        Wow! What a shallow and rude bitch! If the man I loved had had a stroke and had a little facial muscle trouble, it wouldn't keep me from kissing him.

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          #19
          Originally posted by Le Type Fran├žais View Post
          Wow! What a shallow and rude bitch! If the man I loved had had a stroke and had a little facial muscle trouble, it wouldn't keep me from kissing him.

          Some people really don't know what love is or the value of it. If you love someone truly, you don't care what they look like and in fact if someone I loved had had a stroke and lived you would see me glomming onto them every chance I got. Life is fleeting and one stroke can lead to another leaving you without the love of your life in an instant.
          Anything worth doing, is worth doing to excess

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            #20
            I think its easy to judge when its not someone YOU love. I have gotten my share of stupid, rude and flustering comments about my ab/sci relationship.
            I dont even see us as different anymore and my personal opinion of people who would pass judgement upon us from afar
            .................well something are better left unsaid..................
            you get the point

            Originally posted by skippy13 View Post
            Some people really don't know what love is or the value of it. If you love someone truly, you don't care what they look like and in fact if someone I loved had had a stroke and lived you would see me glomming onto them every chance I got. Life is fleeting and one stroke can lead to another leaving you without the love of your life in an instant.

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              #21
              I agree with you all, she obviously is more disabled than anyone she talks about.

              As we all know, not all disabilities are physical.

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                #22
                She sounds very insecure and puts others down to bring herself up.
                She has something about herself she doesn't like and is afraid others see it.
                Best defense is offense.
                I'd stay clear of her. She needs to learn respect.
                Don't be upset with yourself for not saying more.
                You took the high road Eileen. {hugs} Mona
                sigpic

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                  #23
                  No. I don;t think you were being too sensitive, but saying anything to her would have had the same effect as talking to the furniture. So don;t feel you were being a moral coward either.

                  Sorry it put a pall over your evening. And like Betheny says ..... Karma is going to come as quite a shock to her!
                  T7-8 since Feb 2005

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                    #24
                    Exactly. What goes around comes around!

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                      #25
                      Originally posted by skippy13 View Post
                      Some people really don't know what love is or the value of it. If you love someone truly, you don't care what they look like and in fact if someone I loved had had a stroke and lived you would see me glomming onto them every chance I got. Life is fleeting and one stroke can lead to another leaving you without the love of your life in an instant.
                      Agreed. I can't believe how superficial some people are. I want to be attracted to my potential mate like everyone else, but if he were ever injured, it wouldn't change how much I loved him and how beautiful physically he can still be in my eyes.

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                        #26
                        You were not overly sensitive to what she said. It was rude.

                        That woman might be someone to whom you might toss a casual nod as you pass to check your mail, but that might be the extent of any contact with her in the future.

                        You cannot control stupid, insensitive people, but you can limit contact with such creatures. Unless she has a karmic revelation, I would find another party next New Year's Eve or throw my own. =)

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                          #27
                          Sometimes you gotta "get down with the dogs" Eileen, I would have told that witch "Duhhhh, like Dick would want to kiss your funked up mouth" give her a little taste of her own poison lets see how she digs that.
                          A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo! - borrowed from Honey boo boo child

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                            #28
                            Eileen, do you think I should cross her off my list of potential lovers then? Dick Clark looks a hell of a lot better than I do now. <----- recent pic of me.

                            Sometimes people say the dumbest things...you just wonder where the insensitivity comes from. I had a (one-time) nurse who never looked me in the eye, and talked out loud all the time she was here. She was suctioning me, and she said "I bet he used to be good looking ". She will never know how lucky she is that I can no longer make a fist.

                            As it has been said, it is a long road without a turn in it...Karma will get her,
                            Veni.Vidi,Velcro...I came, I saw, I stuck around.

                            Vidi, Vici, et Veni, et Veni, et Veni...

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                              #29
                              Mark - I can't believe that! Rude wench!

                              I would avoid her Eileen. Best revenge is revoking your great company!
                              Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                              T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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                                #30
                                Thanks everybody. You actually did make me feel a lot better about my emotional reaction to what this woman said, and also the fact that I did not say anything back to her. I did just pass her a few moments ago as I went down to do laundry, but instead of talking I said I was cold (true) and was going upstairs to make tea. Clearly I need a break from her.
                                MarkPals....yep, you can cross her off your list of potential lover's, but only because you deserve so much better than this bit of superficiality!
                                I agree with you Todd that it would not matter, nor should it matter, if someone you love has a problem that affects their appearance. I am always in shock at people who do not think likewise. The gift of love is, ideally, for all time, unshakeable and constant. I had a cousin who went through breast cancer a few years ago and would not let her own husband see her without her wig on. I kept my mouth wisely shut, but have wondered what sort of marriage it must be if her very own husband had to be protected from her being temporarilly hairless.

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