Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Question re friends homes and accessibility

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #16
    one of my friends that I have known for about three years called me earlier in the year saying that they were getting a new entry for their home and she asked me how wide I would need it to be to get in ok. Amazing how good some people are.

    Comment


      #17
      Originally posted by sjean423 View Post
      Perhaps a lot of this is that for a very long time you have been dealing with this, successfully, w/o them making any modifications?

      I think you are right, they just haven;t thought of it, as opposed to not wanting to be bothered to do something to make it easier for you to get in.
      sjean, I think you might be right, but I have made it pretty clear that my risk of further injury has prevented any desire to be lifted and potentially dropped.
      ------
      What varied responses, although it does seem like a painful subject for more than just me here. The wedding invite to an inaccessible church says it all.......talk about a mixed message. Sorry for other people's pain on this issue too.

      Comment


        #18
        Could be worse, they could live here
        C5/6 incomplete

        "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

        Comment


          #19
          Originally posted by Eileen View Post
          Thank you for your responses. I know I have been doing this wheelchair thing for a very long time, but I really do not want to be hoisted up stairs anymore, so I am either having people over to my place, which is tiny, or more likely meeting them somewhere like a restaurant or coffee shop. Two weeks ago both elevators in my building went out for five hours, and panic set in pretty badly. Before coming here I had lived in a ranch house, so even if the electric garage door didn't go up during a power outage, I could still go out the ramped back door. Suddenly I felt very trapped, and it wouldn't have mattered if I had been in my unit or downstairs, either way it was not a good feeling. I started thinking of all my friends who have homes that I can't get into, and was thinking to myself that if they didn't get the elevator working I had no place to go other than to a hotel (without jammies, toothbrush, or anything else) and started thinking about the fact that this has become the "norm." My panic was more than what the situation required, but I am feeling badly that no one has come up with a couple of boards nailed together as a temporary access for me. I don't even think it crosses their mind, and yet I know they like me because it is often them being proactive about getting together. Who knows, maybe I woudn't think about it either if the situation was reversed, but I really think I might, if for no other reason than my mother had been post-polio, so I was already somewhat aware of access issues before my own swan dive.
          I got tired of being hoisted up over and over, after twenty or so years, i finally had enough, can't expect it of friends, but would have thought family would have thought more, lets face it as we get older, it's harder and harder to be hosited up safely, of course my mom always had a ramp at her place, so I told my brothers and sisters if i couldn't get in there house by myself, don't expect me to visit, yes including dinners, etc
          so my three sisters put up ramps, two brothers didn't
          We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
          Ronald Reagan

          Comment


            #20
            At my best friend's house, I've always had to cath in their laundry room, it's an old house and I couldn't fit thru any bathroom doors. He had a water leak and had to partially redo the small guest bath. He went all out and completely rearranged it and widened the door so that I could get in and turn around in it.

            My brother put a ramp on the old house on his land in OK. His house here has one only one step, so we just pop/lift over that.

            My Sis and Bro-in-law in Louisiana put a big switchback ramp up to their front porch as their house is about 4ft off the ground. And it's not like we visit all that often, so was surprised by this. But my b-i-l is a helluva guy.
            "a T10, who'd Rather be ridin'; than rollin'"

            Comment


              #21
              .....
              Last edited by McDuff; 17 Nov 2009, 11:19 AM. Reason: double post
              "a T10, who'd Rather be ridin'; than rollin'"

              Comment


                #22
                In my family it has been mixed. My sister and brother in law had been planning major renovations to their home before I was hurt. They changed their original plans considerably to make about half of their home fully accessible, which really meant a lot to me.

                My brother, on the other hand, recently had a giant home custom built. He had no plans at all to include accessible features. As an afterthought (and I suspect only because somebody berated him about it), he threw a ramp on the back of the house that goes up to wrap around deck. Which is nice if I want to sit outside and watch everybody else hanging out inside since I can't get in any of the doors that lead from the deck into the house lol. Needless to say, I don't visit him very often. However my nephew (8.5) has gotten very vocal over the fact that I can't come visit him like I visit his cousins--his first real stirings of awareness in what I hope will be a concern for access others, not just me. So I am hoping he might be able to educate his parents into reconsidering the lack of access in their home. I am not hopeful though.

                Comment


                  #23
                  Forgive my possibly dumb questions here, but I had been thinking about that issue. I don't know anyone who needs accessibility in my home right now, but it appeared I might have in the past, and who knows about the future.

                  When my mother was in a wheelchair, it wasn't a problem for me to pull the chair up a step, or over a threshold. But she was a small person, so I suppose that isn't always a good option. But like others have said, portable ramps would work I guess.

                  What I always wondered about though, were bathrooms. Aren't most bathroom doors too narrow? Mine looks like it would be, and even different hinges wouldn't work I don't think - the door only opens 90 degrees and runs into the cabinetry.

                  Are standard bedroom doors wide enough?

                  And I'm sympathize with those who are hurt - I can imagine that really feels bad.

                  What do people do in such a situation?

                  Comment


                    #24
                    I'm moving out to CA to live near my boyfriend, who is in a chair. To make things easiest, I am moving into the same bldg that he lives in and which we know is accessible. The only issue is the bathroom, which is too narrow for him to get into, so in his apt he has removed the door.

                    My mom uses a walker, and I've had to rearrange furniture when she comes to make sure there is enough room for it to fit through the rooms. I know we will arrange the furniture in our home to accomodate my boyfriend's chair.

                    I've never built a ramp at my home because my mom can get up the stairs, but if she needed one to access our home, I would have built one since she comes to visit at least 2x a year. My sister lives in the same town as my mom and hasn't made any accomodations for her.

                    It is so frustrating, I would imagine, to not have family and friends accomodate your needs. My best friend is deaf and totally left out at family functions because they like the ambiance of dim lights and candles at the holidays which leaves the room too dark for her to read lips. She's mostly stopped interacting with family because of that, which I find very sad.
                    Kimber in SoCal
                    Wife to Tom, T12 incomplete since 1988

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Originally posted by TAM63 View Post
                      Forgive my possibly dumb questions here, but I had been thinking about that issue. I don't know anyone who needs accessibility in my home right now, but it appeared I might have in the past, and who knows about the future.

                      When my mother was in a wheelchair, it wasn't a problem for me to pull the chair up a step, or over a threshold. But she was a small person, so I suppose that isn't always a good option. But like others have said, portable ramps would work I guess.

                      What I always wondered about though, were bathrooms. Aren't most bathroom doors too narrow? Mine looks like it would be, and even different hinges wouldn't work I don't think - the door only opens 90 degrees and runs into the cabinetry.

                      Are standard bedroom doors wide enough?

                      And I'm sympathize with those who are hurt - I can imagine that really feels bad.

                      What do people do in such a situation?
                      Absolutely not a dumb question. I guess for me it is about actually being able to get into someone's living space......the place where they hang out or have parties. I do not expect to ever see an accessible bathroom in a house without someone having put some thought into it first. That is OK for me because if I really need to I can return to my van (thank heavens for those smoked glass windows!) and take care of buisness there, and then return to dinner or the party. Bedroom doors are often accessible with no modification, and often the only problem is someone has cluttered up the doorway with some oversized piece of furniture, which in a pinch can be pushed a few inches one way or the other for access.
                      I am in a powerchair, so the idea of just lifting it over a step or two isn't really possible unless I am visiting someone built like Charles Atlas, and even then I am no longer willing to take the chance of being dropped. Between my own weight (let's just say I am "Rubenesque") and the weight of a power chair, it would be pretty formidable to lift.

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Visitability is one of the barriers that few in the AB community have ever had reason to consider. I preach that gospel at every opportunity. I can always choose another store or restaurant, but I do want to be included when friends socialize in their homes.

                        One of my best friends (one of the dawgs) built an accessible suite for me in his new home. I was touched by the gesture, and visited that distant New South city more than I would have otherwise. The house, and my accessible suite with it, fell victim to the real estate bust.

                        While I was still ambulatory, I built an accessible addition to the home of another of the Dawgs. This addition was built for his ailing mother, also a very dear friend who's door was always open to me in times of need. She has since passed. I have a standing reservation for the addition, a privilege I have used many times when I travel to the Northeast.

                        Just about everybody goes the extra mile to include me, but most of my other friends have access only through serendipity or improvisation.

                        Last night, I went to a civic meeting scheduled for the second floor of a building. There was a seldom used wheelchair lift that "was working fine just this afternoon when we checked it". Unfortunately, and as is too often the case, it wasn't working when it was needed. After phone calls and hand wringing, someone in authority admitted that the lift was hopeless

                        Ultimately, chairs were brought to the ground level, and the meeting was held outdoors. I think they might get that lift working soon.

                        Almost forgot, I built my own home to provide accessibility to the widest range of folk's different abilities that my money allowed. You gotta walk the walk if you're gonna talk the talk.
                        Foolish

                        "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

                        "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

                        "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Originally posted by RehabRhino View Post
                          Could be worse, they could live here
                          Paul, I don't think I could have done that even when AB. Not because of the leg muscles, but because of nausea!

                          Comment


                            #28
                            None of my friends/family have done anything. It would be easy to keep some boards around to push me up instead of carrying the chair up but it doesn't happen.
                            Andrew

                            Comment


                              #29
                              This always bugs me. Not so much when someone doesn't modify, but when they remodel or build and still exclude you. I have few friends left because of this. It is my nature if someone is sick or has a baby to go help. You can't really say hey I'd like to see the baby, can you drag me up 8 steps even though you just had a c section?
                              It sucks. My parents redid their bathroom, no access, paved their drive but still put a step. They do have a makeshift ramp now and only lasy year they did widen the other bathroom door after some drama. It is terrible to have no where to cath and to have to ask someone to get you in and out on top of that if you did need to go to a van.
                              I hate going to a "girls" party and having to be sure a husband sticks around long enough to get me inside. I'd like to go in and out at cookouts and watch the kids play. Go back in when I want a drink without having to ask someone. Oh well it doesn't seem like it will change anytime soon.
                              If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


                              Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                This is interesting Eileen. Only one friend has built temporary ramps for visiting but that was much appreciated, he was in the construction business. We have a portable suitcase ramp even though it is heavy and unwieldy. Unfortunately it only works for that outside porch staircase and then there is the huge step up through the door so the ramp is useless in the end, but people always insist that they are "rampable". I've never liked split-levels and now it's obvious why. But, after thinking about this issue, I have to admit that our house is more suited to powerchairs than manual! The ramp is a little steeper at the entrance, counter a little higher But at least you could turn around at any point. I noticed this when Dogger visited. The guestroom had an antique bed that was pretty high, so I cut the legs down and that helped, but the guest bathroom is pretty inaccessable and no room to enlarge it, so Jim's huge bathroom is it. Deb

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X