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"christians" omg

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    Very true 55,I've heard it from younger people too.I just find it more typical from the older generation.My mil keeps telling me I'll understand her views when I get older & don't understand the younger people.I refuse to let age make me judgemental & condenscending.I guess I've experienced enough of that crap from my dad.


      no, i am no where near a nursing home, which made this email even more incredible to me. neither is she. she's flying to japan for more missionary work in a few days. i did write back.

      this hurt in many ways, but 2 really stand out: 1) why would anybody think one would have less worries in a nursing home and 2) why do some ppl think a disability means a nursing home is a logical solution.

      well, i expected something better from this particular person. she's known me and my son for yrs...i feel like i've been punched in the gut.

      btw, i'm not trying to group all christians just hit me coming from someone who literally has devoted her life to god that she could say something like that. what happened to the concept of helping ppl out as a community? bit hypocritical seems to me. oh well, i'll get over it.
      Last edited by cass; 26 Oct 2009, 4:57 PM.


        Originally posted by Mona~on~wheels View Post
        Well christians and non believers all make stupid remarks.
        Well, of course, when I lambast religious assholes, I'm not referring to anyone who's religious. There are many non-religious assholes as well. Having said that, non-religious people who're assholes are harder to box in because they don't claim to subscribe to any religious thought that they could perhaps be vehemently violating. Religious people are much like politicians in that they can so easily be caught in contradicting steadfast beliefs and values they espouse.

        Christianity is the predominant religion in the United States, therefore, it takes a harder hit than many other religions; but if Islam were predominant, we'd be just as vigilant in casting down extremists and hypocrites. We do a fair share of casting down Islamic extremists from abroad.

        There are many religious people who hold their beliefs to themselves, practice it faithfully without much show, don't try to push it onto others, and are also quite rational about what they say.


          Cass, I understand how that made you feel. That's right up there with my Mom telling me I'm not praying hard enough to walk again. Oh, yes, she did!


            or maybe she was just thinking that when the time is right a nursing home would be a place to think about to give you more help support and comfort to make your life easier...not now but at a later stage.




                Originally posted by Muriel View Post
                or maybe she was just thinking that when the time is right a nursing home would be a place to think about to give you more help support and comfort to make your life easier...not now but at a later stage.
                i don't think you've had much exp. with u.s. nursing homes.


                  OK...this one is pretty much taking the cake!

                  In the first place, how on earth could another person tell you what you should or should not be thinking about doing?

                  In the second place, I have to say that a nursing home is NOT a good place to be. My Grandma, and several elderly relatives spent time in Nursing homes. When my Grandma had to go in, she had just had a stroke, and went there for therapy to try to walk again. This was all that was available back when I was a teenager.

                  A nursing home should be a last resort, in my honest opinion...

                  The exception (from personal experience) would be if someone had alzheimers and needed constant care and supervision to keep from harming themselves or someone else.

                  (I had an Aunt who was a brilliant schoolteacher, and she ended up with alzheimers, and would wander off from her house in the middle of the night, and finally got to the stage that she needed constant supervision...or at least close supervision...)

                  I understand there really are no constants in nursing homes.

                  In a lot of cases, the staff is overworked. Sometimes the aides are underqualified.

                  Having said that, Cass, you do not belong in a home any more than Bette Midler herself does!!!


                  I honestly think this person that wrote you did not really know what to say, so she decided to just try to come up with what she thought was a quick fix for your situation. I don't think her intent was to cause you pain and heartache.

                  It sort of reminds me of when my Aunt (not the one with Alzheimers) sat down on a bench and was talking to a perfect stranger, and I came up beside them and heard her remark to the woman..."This is Teena, she's my niece, and she is crippled up."

                  Not she loves to write or read or volunteer or work or whatever...just she is crippled up.

                  I was fuming.

                  I let her know in front of the woman how I felt, and then we had a private discussion about it too.

                  She was sorry and was in tears...and so was I.

                  Thing was...and is...back in her day...being 'crippled up' was a term as common as having a headache...and with no stereotypes or bad vibes attached.

                  I had to sit down and realize that.


                  I am NOT defending this woman that sent you the email in ANY way...but I am just gently saying that she may have meant her own mind.

         take care...and remember, you ARE a Bette...



                    Originally posted by cass View Post
                    i don't think you've had much exp. with u.s. nursing homes.


                      Your right I do not have experience of u.s nursing homes. There are good and bad ones here too...I worked in some long time ago as a nurses assistant...i.e the nurse was in charge...some showed huge level of care others i worked with just did not care, especially if the patient was not clued into to this planet. Nursing homes work for some not for others. My kids joke with me that they will put me in a nursing home when i get older...but they have all been told I believe in euthanasia. I did not say what your friend said was right...I said maybe she was just thinking....I know I have had alot of things said to me In the past 17 months that I should do, I thank the person for their opinion, and in my head I think to myself get lost you have not got a clue. I do not think christains OMG.


                        Originally posted by Muriel View Post
                        I do not think christains OMG.

                        I do... it's only because 99.0% of the people who do this are christian, the 1% represents those that are uncomfortably close to finding the meaning of life and so looking for meaning...

                        The line above is not mean to read that 99% of christians do the above, just that 99% of them are christian <--- quite a large difference...

                        ***The Usual Disclaimer***
                        Actual statistic may vary on the shock factor the author wants to give the statistic
                        Last edited by Keiser; 27 Oct 2009, 6:01 AM.


                          Obviously this woman does not know the lord because if she did she would have never make a statement like that. It just amazes me how quickly norepentant sinners bash my lord every chance they get. God turns a deaf ear to unrepentant sinners. He allowed his only son to suffer and die for us. We are his children ,,do you really think he wants us to suffer?


                            Sounds like she was just trying to be nice, to me. No reason to refer to her as a "religious asshole", but that's just my humble and respectful opinion, to each their own.

                            If you don't like it, jettison her, doesn't sound like she'd been missed... not to be a dick about it, I understand your frustration. Sorry you were hurt by it, Cass.
                            get busy living or get busy dying


                              Cass,my dad made many nursing home remarks from the time I was in ICU until I came home.Even then he still insisted I'd end up in one before long.He has never apologized or said he thought wrong.When my mom went in one for recovery he gave no supportI even had a dr.tell me the same,that I would be a burden & she had NO bedside manner.Well,she ended up paralyzed from botulism poisoning & died in one.I wanted so bad to go sit by her bed & comfort her the same way.In no way does mentioning nursing homes make anyone comfortable & easy about the future.I'm sorry she hurt yourfeelings.


                                Originally posted by Eileen View Post
                                I have a different take on it. I wouldn't want to listen to this sort of thing either, but my guess is that she might be pretty scared about her own future since she is closer to "nursing home age" than you are by far. She may be trying to talk herself into the fact that it would be easier eventually, and is merely projecting her fears and coping mechanisms onto you. Just put it in the "I didn't really need to hear that" column and let it go. I suspect it has much more to do with her than it does you.
                                I tend to agree with Eileen here. Maybe she is trying to talk herself into it being a blessing for her? Who knows? So many people believe so many different things. I feel like she may be using you and your situation to justify hers and maybe make it make sense.

                                No matter what she was hurt you and I would definately share that with her.

                                I have had several (not so smart/intellectual) people make stupid remarks. I will even share one that does not even involve me.....My dad was diagnosed with cancer in January of 2001. In March, a neighbor passed away and the funeral home put up the "slow funeral signs" for the neighbor close but not near my dads house. A neighbor from way down the street called my dad's house and said "Oh Thad its nice to hear you on the phone...I thought you had died because I saw the signs". I was absolutely livid and called the neighbor. I said alot of not so Christian things to him. A week or two later, I realized that some people just have no common sense and they really don't care to have any either. When this neighbor passed away a few years after dad....I could bring myself to even go to the visitation......How could someone be so hurtful? It really upset my dad and I guess that brought out my claws and I have never taken them back in with this particular family.

                                Let this lady know how hurt you are.
                                T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

                                My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown