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My mom died

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  • Ya, the funeral director just kinda worded it a little bit strange, but I see what he was saying. Familys fight over stuff like that all the time and I'm sure he's probabley seen it where somebody is creamated and then some other relatives is all upset because he wanted their parent buried.
    "Life is about how you
    respond to not only the
    challenges you're dealt but
    the challenges you seek...If
    you have no goals, no
    mountains to climb, your
    soul dies".~Liz Fordred


    • So sorry for your loss..

      Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

      If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia


      • yeah. when i picked my mom's casket funeral guy asked about liner and ddn't "mom" deseve the best? but the best could also be only where others could see, yet didn't mom deserve it in whole casket? yes, i mumbled. prob never even got it, like i was going to check. vultures. feedng on your grief and guilt. yeah, my mom deserved "the best." she got it, or did she? so did funeral guy. i'll never do that again. it's a low thing to do, playing on grief to make money. mom would have said no for herself.
        Last edited by cass; 11-04-2009, 03:19 AM.


        • Beth,sorry for your loss! It will hurt like hell for a while,but eventually ,like SCI,you will find a way to cope with it.


          • Betheny, that was a beautiful eulogy. I wrote my Mom's eulogy, but made the minister read it. I knew I couldnt' without losing it. My mother was the type of woman who had made friends in childhood that she kept all her life and came across country to her funeral. She truly cared, and they knew it. From what I read of your Mom, I think yours and mine would have gotten along fabulously.

            I lost my Mom to Alzheimer's, which is a journey of losses. By the time she died, I felt relief that she no longer suffered, and sadness and pain over all she had gone through for over nine years with the disease. I had dealt with the "Alzheimer's Mom" for so long I'd kind of stuffed away in my brain the "healthy Mom". But it comes back - all the memories come back. Grief is an odd journey that can take you a lot of places. 7 years after my mother's death, grief still hits me when I least expect it, but mostly what I deal with is simply missing my Mom's presence. Even when she couldnt' hold a true conversation, I could still talk to her. I could hug her. I could be with her. She gave me unconditional love and often peace of mind when no one else could, as well as some plain old girl talk, and I miss all of that everyday.

            I feel blessed to have had a mother who truly loved me and was kind to me. Seems like I meet so many people who's mothers just dont' and arent, and I feel for them. While I wish I could have had her in my life longer - and healthy to the end - I am grateful for having the Mom I had. Your Mom sounds like a wonderful lady, Betheny, and I know she has a wonderful daughter. Though the ache of missing her will never be gone forever, may you find yourself smiling more and more when you think of her.
            Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
            - Albert Einstein


            • Kendell-You sum it up so perfectly. I lost the original Mom 26 yrs. ago, and was so grateful to have what was left. When she died, I finally looked at the photos of the old days...It was kind of like laying 2 ppl to rest, rather than one. My God, she was beautiful at 48. That stroke was so bad, and she fought infection in her skull all those years. By the time she died, they had just removed the front quarter-panel, so to speak. She so hated having her head look caved in (and who would not?)

              Watching Golden Girls all morning, saw so many ads for Alzheimer's drugs. I told my friend Jill how lucky I feel that we, and Mom, were spared that. Even though she'd had part of her brain removed after her stroke (right frontal lobectomy, they call it), she was still less than 1 brick shy of a full load. Since I'm sure she lost 3+ bricks in the stroke and lobectomy, she clearly had bricks to spare!

              Today I have an appt. w/ a masseuse that "reads energy". She predicted that Bente's ex would try to seize custody of her youngest, which he has since then. So this should be interesting.

              And I have to sort through a van-full of Mom's belongings. Most will go to the reservation...

              Jill lost her own Mom when Jill was but 20; a young victim of cancer. I think her Mom is proud of her today, I really do.

              Thanks, everyone.
              Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?


              • So glad you made it to Jill's...anxious to hear how your appt. went...if I've always wanted to do that...not a whole lot of energy to read't have to tell you to take care of yourself cause I see you are! hugs, judy


                • Beth, I am so curious what she told you...

                  It is difficult to call, when it is a nice time there, I am sleeping here and when I wake up it is too early to call.
                  TH 12, 43 years post


                  • Betheny, im sorry.....................................
                    Han: "We are all ready to win, just as we are born knowing only life. It is defeat that you must learn to prepare for"