I am feeling awkard surfing matrimonial site for THE disabled

[Patrick Madsen]

Lyniffer is very wise. I agre witha ll she says. I suggest you ask your parents if they would rather you have a partner to go thru life after they pass or not.

For me, two negatives, disabilities, always ends up a positive.

Good luck S.

[Timaru]

Go with your heart!

At the moment you sound like someone asking if they should buy the current iPad or wait for the next generation as it might be better.

Take the plunge you deserve happiness!

[Eileen]

I agree. Listen to your heart, as only the true answer can be found there. It does not sound like his disability has stopped him from doing anything, and that he is up to facing whatever challenges might appear. On the other hand, if you want more time to think about it and to come up with a decision that is certain for you then continue just enjoying your time together without having to marry quite yet. Sorry, I know you want someone to point you in the right direction, but that resides within your own heart. Just listen to it and then follow it........... Wishing you the absolute best.

[Shwetarose]

Thanks for your replies. It has encouraged me. I like this guy and i would be talking to him , know him more..and then let heart decide . After reading you all, i would seriously not let the one go just for future fears. Love you all . Thanks from bottom of my heart seriously. i am much clear now.. i would be updating this thread.

[TheAbleChef]

I was thinking the same thing!! The mentality of India is hard to get over but you will find people that will look past your disability. I found the love of my life here. She is not Indian either. Do you have any relatives outside of India?

Have you thought of marrying outside of the Indian community? The Indian culture is experiencing a shift in attitude and a change for the better, thankfully, but there's still a long way to go in accepting people with disabilities. I personally don't expect to end up marrying an Indian guy because of the attitude that exists towards someone who is physically challenged, and I live in Canada!

In our culture, moreso in India than elsewhere, it is still very much the ideal that women, although it is acceptable to now hold jobs, should still cook, clean and rear children. People are too ignorant to know that this is still possible after a spinal cord injury. It's too difficult for one individual to try and change the mind of society. I would focus on what is most important for you. Do you want to meet someone and be married, or are you feeling pressured to do it because of your parents? If you truly do want to meet someone, I would try international dating sites. There are a lot of able-bodied men who are open to dating someone with your injury.

I wish you luck. You're beautiful and you will meet someone.

[TheAbleChef]

The clock you speak of is very real. Indian parents let you know about it...over and over again. My brother is 30 and our parents have been telling him that "party is over" and it's time to settle down, find a wife and have babies! Talk about pressure.

Shwetarose,
Forget about trying to find someone ring away. Like Betheny said, you may end finding the wrong guy and then you'll end eating more of your life. Dint stop looking though. Good people are out there.

I love Bollywood movies, not literally, for how people just break out into song and dance. Even better is how often they change outfits and locations.

I'm so glad Kiran posted, as I am clueless about your culture. I mean I watch Bollywood movies, but I doubt the whole family jumps up from dinner for a little sing-n--dance session, like they do in those movies!

All I know is what is universally obvious-you are beautiful, you are worthy, but you have been hurt and made to feel neither of those things.

There's a saying here, not too nice but very apt: "Don't let the bastards get you down."

The boy that dumped you was a bastard. He had no strength of conviction. He couldn't resist pressure, even for love.

You don't have to marry a disabled person, unless you happen to fall for one. We're all just people...anyone that can't see that doesn't deserve you!

I hear you getting desperate, like there is a clock ticking. If you marry the wrong guy, that clock will tick slowly, endlessly, all your moments of misery. So try to forget the clock, ok? You aren't on a schedule. Make sure you get out and about, both on the computer and in real life. I have faith in your abilities-our disabilities ain't nothin' but a thang. Don't let yours define you because you had the misfortune of falling for a jerk...it happens to the best of us.

Have you ever seen him again, or did he vanish? I've wondered.

[Shwetarose]

No. i have some friends but not near relatives.

btw, my parents are not letting me go to another state and to be Outside India is Farrr thought .

For now, i will know the person more who have made entry without being with future fears


Are you Indian?

I was thinking the same thing!! The mentality of India is hard to get over but you will find people that will look past your disability. I found the love of my life here. She is not Indian either. Do you have any relatives outside of India?

[Shwetarose]

Bump. I am just updating the thread to let you know my friends what's been happening in my life.

Okay so I dated guy who was disabled. He had crutches and forked hands. We became very good friends but it didn't reached at soulmate level . May be our thoughts didn't matched and also we both felt that life becomes more challenging when we are together. That's it. Don't want to say much abt it. It's been over since 2 years and I am still looking for my guy. I surfed many dating sites of disabled some of US some UK and many more.

Xxooxxooo,
Shweta.