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  • #31
    Originally posted by betheny View Post
    BTW, Indians in Britain, there are many many many.
    Unfortunately, the Indians in the UK are less progressive in their thinking than India. They came to the UK in the 60s and 70s and live in some kind of timewarp whereby pressures of marriage, caste, religion, wealth and health are still the be all and end all. Maybe we'll have to wait for another generation to pass by before we catch up.

    Being Indian myself in the UK I struggle with the pressures of family, expectations and reputations all the time. It's not exactly what you need when you are dealing with so much else on a daily basis. But at the same time, being Indian is great - food, music, big familiies and all that jazz.

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    • #32
      Hey, finally I get a chance to talk it out. Shwetarose I am Bhagyam from India..I went through the whole thread....Firstly I want to tell you....I face quiet a simialr situation as you did....I have polio, quiet independent......Guys do approach me....become good friends....get attracted to me but then the whole concept of taking responsibility comes into the picture....and they back off.....recently my parents have started to look for a boy for me....I am almost on all the matrimony sites as ever....the problem I face is since I have polio from the time I got into senses....never felt as a hassle or a obstruction...had people behave as normal with me as ever....but from the time this matrimony thing has come the disability in me has started becoming such a hindrance within me...when I like a guy who is good looking well educated and earns pretty well... I cant express interest because, I am handicap....and the boys who come my way are 1st not at all educated....where I am a scientist with reliance....or they are suffering from such severe disability that there is nothing i can say(no offense)...I do have polio...I walk with a stick....but I am a Masters from UK....I went all by myself with no help or relatives and managed pretty well....I did get a guy even in the UK who was pretty sweet but I still cant figure out whether I was his friend or something more.....now my family keep saying "we will look for a damn great guy for you...but you will have to adjust" they as me to make something out of myself(which I dont mind) and not depend on a partner for anything..
      Now at the same time if I did not have this disability.....there would be like a long Q outside my house...to begin with my dad`s friend circle....asking me to get married to their son......I understand that one person cant change the mentality of the society but then Y does this same indian society as us to live a normal life.....study lots....work lots....earn lots....but when it comes to marriage......problems lots.....
      I had lots of ups and downs but then my family did not ever make me feel it is due to the handicap but put forth that it is normal......but from the time this matrimony thing has come in.....my mind just doesnt stay steady.....
      I also dream of a dashing guy from the mills and boons.....he will sweep me off my feet.....but then this practical society says its impartical for me to dream so just because of a handicap I have physically.....none of us are mentally ill are we......but Y doesnt every1 consider us normal and let us live a normal life.....
      there is loads i want to share but then it would get too much....
      was nice knowning about this site...and will try my best and keep posting...hope you guys can allow me to join you all....

      Bhagyam

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      • #33
        Welcome, Bhagyam!
        Blog:
        Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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        • #34
          Welcome Bhagyam

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          • #35
            hey shweta there's actually a foundation for sci's called nina foundation u should look into it.
            Last edited by vaibhavjain; 05-20-2010, 11:41 AM.

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            • #36
              @mike Yes that is very true....i will take care.

              @shiv yes i know you.

              @ Pelican i didnt knw that Indians are same in UK as well..Indians too good but still there are many things wrong to fit their mind when it comes to visibility / showing / showcase!.

              @ Bhagyam There areee many educated guys with Polio. Trust me. I met many in matri site. Bharatmatrimony and shaadi. They are right package for you ) educated, looks, job, financially. If u not getting, i will forward you their profiles.

              @ Vaibhav Surely..
              ChemistOnline.in

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              • #37
                Welcome to CCC Bhagyam! I hope you keep writing here.

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                • #38
                  Shwetarose, you are such a nice person, and I hope you get what you desire because you definitely deserve to.

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                  • #39
                    Shwetarose, do you ever reply to any of these guys that say hello to you? You have more ppl saying hello than any other girls on CC! How are you? I've been thinking of you. Sorry your old boyfriend got married. I just hope he is nicer to his new wife than he was to you, or she is in for a life of heartache.
                    Blog:
                    Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      shewta june 25th i sci awareness day in bbay, u should def make it. i might be making a presentation there, for my sci specialized rehab centre im opening later this year

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                      • #41
                        Dear Vaibhavjain

                        I am anxious to know from you that what you are doing for SCI patients in mumbai? I have been there in mumbai in 2008 for check up to Dr Alok but did not get stem cell treatment.

                        I hope u will keep me updated what is happening in mumbai and india.

                        God bless you dear and have winning days ahead

                        Jawaid

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                        • #42
                          @betheny how are you.i m just fine.i had recently shock-electric current and my right hand was badly swollen. though i m alright now. it was funny to cope with legs and hand too. Did i miss to say hello ?? i read every post. i do reply but yes late reply. Betheny, BF, phew...deep pain it was

                          @Elieen Hi Eileen...how are you )

                          I must admit. CC rejuvenates me. i feel the difference of today and yesterday.

                          @vaibhav do tell me where the location is.
                          ChemistOnline.in

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                          • #43
                            Very interesting articles

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                            • #44
                              Hello Everybody..After long time , i am on CC. Many time wish to read forum , discuss, get knowledge but life is keeping me lil over occupied.Warmest regards to all of you here.

                              continuing the same thread as it is related.i am in very complex situation.i finally met one interesting prospect from reputated matrimonial site. became frds on facebook and twitter which gv me more insights to know the guy.he is masters in finance, speaks very sensible,matured and intelligent. we matched the wavelength. i like him and he likes me too more than a frd. He wants to marry. we went out five times. he earns good and comes from good family.hes within same caste. Hes having elbow crutch in one hand and wear full callipers.he travel in train,bus and every vehicle.he doesnt need any helper like me. hes independent and strong determined person.

                              But now the problem is my parents are not so much positive abt it as they r saying both disabled would make life more challenging and later difficult.it would be burdensome for both. i told them that helpers would be there for me then there would be very less possibility for challenges and if sometime challenges come, we would face. Also some relatives are advising not to marry and be career oriented which i am already.

                              ALSO,the guy is sure to settle in other state after 4 years ie. Gujarat. Living in other state is fearful as none of family members can reach me instantly.

                              My thoughts : i would like to b in relationship with guy. but wont marry.we would enjoy each other company by going out,movies,outstation etc. But at the end of the day he would be in his house and i will be in mine. So no challenges and no problems and no fears. And when he would settle in other state, we would be in long distance relationship and we would often meet as it is 2 hrs away by air.


                              Am i right or i should wait for some other prospect which is more abled??? would long distance relationship would be good?? i havent discuss this with guy and i m going to discuss all this today.
                              ChemistOnline.in

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                              • #45
                                I know it's important for you to be respectful to your family and extended family, but sometimes love and life involve risk.

                                You've looked for so long and you speak fondly of this gentleman!

                                I would take the risk. If he is as determined as you say, he would never let you go without help or aide.

                                Good luck in whatever you decide Shweta and good to see you back!
                                Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                                T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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