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    #16
    Shwetarose,

    A "normal guy" will love someone for who they are. And they will love them enough to go through whatever things they have to go through for the sake of their true love.

    Any guy who can walk (or roll) away from you and never look back is NOT the person for you.

    It is very very hard for anyone to trust a new guy after a breakup. And yours was a major breakup, not a little breakup.

    But what you have to do is follow your heart.

    You can't think less of yourself because you went through this.

    I know that is EXactly how you feel...that somehow if you could go back in time things would be different, and that if you yourself were different things would have worked out...

    Truth is...marriage to HIM is not for you. And that is OK.

    And one day, you have to give yourself permission to move on. And to look for a new love. And he will come when you meet the right person at the right time.

    I'm so glad you started posting again.

    I agree with Betheny. Don't limit yourself as to who you think will love you. It's also about who YOU will love.

    The idea of "I will love this person because I can't find anyone else" or "I will love this person because nobody else will ever love me" just does not make sense.

    I sort of understand the Indian culture because my Mom who was a Nurse worked for a Doctor from India for several years. In fact the Dr. and his wife had never met until their wedding day...it was an arranged marriage.

    If faced with an arranged marriage or a marriage of the heart, I would go for the marriage of the heart...love.

    That's not to say bad things about Indian culture or arranged marriages...that's just my way of thinking.

    Please do not give up on yourself. Please do not think less of yourself. I consider you a friend too and you deserve the best!

    Take care, and keep in touch!

    Comment


      #17
      Shwetarose, please tell us what kind of scenes you like to paint...

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        #18
        oh man!!!!!!!!....u all deserve to be Doctor - Psychiatrist . u read my mind and heart so accurate. the things i also dont know abt me...

        @betheny :- so true, there are abnormal able bodied men..and they are disable from mind.yes my family was with me..they didnt even scold me. my mother did scold me when i roam around sad, irresponsible,not home mentally.they encouraged me every time. " Would your family be scandalized if you fell for, say, a cowboy from Oklahoma, or a Chinese accountant from Beijing, or an African stockbroker in London?" this is hilarious.very true.i dont know how they would react..n yes even me not.first of all,i m pure vegetarian.so they guy should be vegetarian bcos it would be damn diffciult for me.culture or race dont matter.food matters .really matters a lot.and yes being away from parents wouldnt be right for me.they wont send me n neither i will. i will try international dating sites where i will try to find someone from india.(its hard but will try).
        Indian weddings is full of fun.....clothes,jewellery,food,music,dance,program mes.n IF i marry , i wouldnt skip neone from carecure to invite..n specially will indulge u to wear indian clothes n jewellery

        @teena - "And one day, you have to give yourself permission to move on. "true.very true. i knw now that i m not giving permission to myself to move one.
        "The idea of "I will love this person because I can't find anyone else" or "I will love this person because nobody else will ever love me" just does not make sense." Exactly..sometimes i feel, if not he, then who.n i feel selfish then.but the feeling is very true.if ever he comes back, i would still hv feelings and would still hv even if i m with another.may be i dont know what exactly would be.
        But that is for sure that i wouldnt be with him ever bcos when person can leave me without no looking back and with no care, why would i risk myself ..n he is not coming back ever..i should stop this thinking also.

        good if i had dumped him..
        ChemistOnline.in

        Comment


          #19
          Shwetarose,

          What I REALLY like about what you say is that you are so honest with yourself. You aren't pretending that all is well, and yet you are not giving up on your future.

          I have to agree 100%...food matters...ROFL.

          I'm not a vegetarian, but I can tell you this much, my boyfriend and I have had many conversations on what type foods we love...lol. It would be horrible to go through life with someone who was so narrow minded that they expected you to eat only what they ate...lol.

          Hmmmm...I have never been to an Indian Wedding but I have seen a lot of them on TV. They are very beautiful ceremonies. I am amazed at the patience the brides have for getting the henna put all over their hands, etc. I would be too impatient for more than one brush stroke...lol.

          The outfits (sari?) are so amazing. So many bright colors, and so many gold threads...wow.

          And even the grooms get to dress up...and sometimes match their brides...

          Jewelry is ALWAYS good...lol.

          You will have to send me a video of that day... I know you WILL be a beautiful bride one day...

          As for still thinking of your EX...for myself, I have found the ONE guy that I love, and I do not even think back to my EX boyfriend. My new boyfriend fills my thoughts and even my friends say that when I speak to him on the phone, I just glow...lol.

          Your ex boyfriend will never know what a wonderful time he gave up by letting you go...and that is HIS loss, not really yours. Because now you are free to find someone who will love you unconditionally...and love you without being ashamed of it, but by being proud of loving you and proud of you!!!

          There ARE better times ahead, and the BEST person for you is just waiting to be found.

          I wish you and your parents would move to the USA, and be my neighbors. I am glad that there is no distance on friendship...

          I wish you could have seen his true heart first, and dumped him before he dumped you, but I am so thankful that you did get to see his true heart before you had already married him.

          You would have been so very miserable if he always and always put his parents wishes above yours.

          I have known couples who's parents dominated their love/relationship/marriage.

          In most cases, those marriages did not last very long.

          My Mom even knew of one lady who's MOTHER went with her and her new husband on their honeymoon...staying in the same cabin the newlyweds did!!!

          That is just plain crazy.

          Your parents sound very loving and open minded. I am glad you have so much family support.

          Take care...

          Teena

          PS---you didn't say what you like to paint...

          Comment


            #20
            Yup..my fav painting is of Ganpati ( Ganesha -god) i will soon publish on FB.i really hope u get opportunity to come in India for my wedding..lol..lol..and u r gonna wear Saree, jewellery,accessories,mehendi etc etc ....yes u r ALL coming... wow...that would be awesome..!!!!
            Last edited by Shwetarose; 21 Aug 2009, 8:17 AM.
            ChemistOnline.in

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              #21
              Shweta this is the life we never know about tomorrow.

              I was second year MBBS student here when i got injury. I could not become doctor. I had never in mind that this will happen to me but it happened. Now i have to live with what i have. Personally i think we SCI Patients should not look for others to love us because we can not match up to normal persons and if we will keep false hopes from others then it means we are pushing ourselves in pain.

              I believe luck plays great role in one's life. If some one having luck then he/she can get anything otherwise no need to look towards others.

              We should try to live happy within our capacity. If wants God can change our bad times to good times.

              All this is my personal ideas. Resr you know better. I believe we can learn from every one in the world. God bless you always.

              Sorry that you were not in touch with me otherwise i would have met you when i came mumbai last year.

              Jawaid

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                #22
                Hi Shweta,
                I am Indian and have a disability too - polio. And like you i had worried a lot about my future esp marriage. I had a good career, a very supportive family but i always thought about future, how was to live a life of solitude! i also had a few crushes and once i took things too serious and had my heart broken its then that someone i know resolved to help me find a "nice guy" and introduced me to my now husband. He is not disabled (in fact he is an athlete), and had the foresight to see me and past my disability. i never in my life imagined i would get a husband as loving and as caring as him. I am sure you too will find the one that is meant for you. Keep the faith.

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                  #23
                  Hello Madam Shwetarose,
                  My Name is sunil kumar, from A.P. India, Acually I dont know what happened in your life, but after seen all replys I want to share my feeling with you if you are willing to share your feelings with me then pls reply

                  Comment


                    #24
                    I wanted to say that I have met alot of men that are far more "mentally/emotionally disabled" than we will ever be "physically disabled".....LOL

                    I am so sorry you are still hurting. You are a beautiful intelligent girl.

                    My clock is ticking too....but I don't have to be scrutinized based on who I have chosen to date because I just plain don't care what my family thinks. It is a long story and your family dynamics are so different from mine.

                    I have even thought of dating only men they would not approve of (sadly some of my family are downright racist) but I could not hurt someone just to make a point to my family.

                    In the end, I can only offer the advice of do what makes yourself happy.

                    I wish you much luck in finding that person who will make you smile again.

                    I hope I did not misread your post Rose....
                    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

                    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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                      #25
                      disable couple

                      i am a disabled ortho . I love a girl also a disabled orhto. but she is rejecting me and wants to be friend only.But i love her a lot . tell me what to do

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                        #26
                        Jawaid : - u r right, but..may b i cant digest your words..i think we have every right of happiness to ask god but may be not human..this is painful.god gives ethg.

                        pms :- u r lucky i m very happy for you.

                        sunil kumar : - nice meeting you

                        daisy : that is very true..many AB ppl are mentally disabled..they are soo weak by mind n heart. VERY TRUE..i really sometimes wish to tell them that they r soo disable inspite of having ethg.

                        aruvi : - she must be rejecting for some reasons.
                        ChemistOnline.in

                        Comment


                          #27
                          ScwetaRose, I wish you luck with finding a husband. It is sad so many people are only able to see the chair instead of the person in it.
                          TH 12, 43 years post

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                            #28
                            Imagine coming home from Starbucks and reading this thread.

                            I had coffee at a table a little too close to a male & female Indo Canadian, what I thought was a couple. They initially scoped me out but I immediately began reading my book and making as if I couldn't hear their conversation. They quickly returned to their topic: discussing their respective extramarital partners.

                            Anyway, back to the topic...

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Shwetarose
                              i saw i lot of good advice given to you by the people here.
                              one problem that is bound to arise is swindlers and con people.
                              if they think you have any financial worth, they will try and play your emotions to get money from you.
                              i know you are very smart, but when a woman or man is looking for a marriage partner, especailly on these internet sites, the dishonest people show up. They are very smooth, so be careful.
                              i would advise you to stay in touch with the woman here and run things by them.
                              they will bw able to see clearly , when love is blind to a swindler/
                              you will find a good partner, just be careful
                              cauda equina

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Originally posted by Shwetarose View Post
                                Hi friends...how are you all...after long time i m today on site...my best wishes and hugs to all my frds...

                                i m getting better after break up...i know it is almost 1.5 year, but still i cant come out totally..dont know what is bothering me of not forgetting him...i cant help tears....god doesnt do such thing with any disable or handicapped..it is pain..we are already in pain and accepting all n now getting dumped...it is soo patheticc and terrible..i m becoming over sensitve and feeling waste..m i soo bad that ppl throw..they doesnt realise or their soul doesnt stop them..

                                anyways, i m elder in my family.my parents are always concerned and always hv worries that what will happen when they wont be there...i feel very insecure after all this...so i myself surfed surfed matrimonial indian sites of handicapped..but i m very different from them..i m very normal and look normal...( i m not offending anybody,pls pardon me)..i mean i just cant walk...if i m in normal chair, noone can make out that i cannot walk..i m getting depressed of what will happen if i dont find anyone in this biggg world..indian disbaled sites doesnt hv my any match..

                                what i do????? i m very scared of being single bcos till now i hv been with frds and him. but now noone..
                                Hi Shweta,

                                This is Shiva Prasad , hope you remember we ( we met in Shaadi ) .
                                please reply back . mailtoshivaprasad@yahoo.com

                                Regards
                                Shiv

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