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    Official Poetry Thread

    I noticed that there is no actual forum or thread where we can post either our own poetry and/or short story writings. Therefore I thought I would start with one of my poems. I have uploaded it to my website but still would like to get some feedback on it. Will also be posting some more and would like to have others to join me with their own too.

    Endless Battle

    Oh dark dragon, beast of pain in me
    Your blackness darkens my life
    In your enormous claws you hold
    Everything that is within me

    Your firey breath burns and destroys
    Every fiber and piece of my life
    My dreams and hopes you claw tight onto
    You have snuffed out the light in my life

    Darkened and beset me with so much sadness
    Your presence in my life brings agony
    Turning all my days into black night
    Where there are no stars to light

    You gaze and roar as you behold
    The obscure sphere where I exist
    What future does my life hold
    Tell me, will I lose my battle to thee?

    © 2008 - 2009 Raven Lenore

    If you would like to read or view the poem with graphics, you can go to the following link.

    http://www.ravensdreams.org/pp/EndlessBattle.htm

    I would like to hear what others think of this poem.

    Thank you.

    Raven
    Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo~

    A warrior is not one who always wins,
    but one who keeps on fighting to the end ~ Unknown ~

    #2
    I like it Raven.

    Comment


      #3
      Memorial?

      I have found a website where you can have or make a memorial for a late loved one. In this website I found my late niece's memorial which an unknown and kind stranger started for her. When I found it, I put a note and one of my flower pictures for her. Also sent a message to the person who started it and thanked her for thoughtfulness. She replied to me and has offered to turn it over to me. I have taken a few days to make a decision and was thinking that if I decide to accept that I would like to have something on it written by me.

      While dealing with her loss, I have found that writing down some of my thoughts and feelings have helped for me to sort of accept it to a certain degree. Today, I was going through my files and found the following words I wrote there. Was thinking of possibly using it there. Would appreciate any input from others here in re to the poem I wrote for her. It is as follows:


      A Dark Night

      On that dark night we lost her forever
      When upon a dark highway she lost her life
      She lost her way so many years ago
      No matter how much she tried
      It always ended on the same road
      She was a beautiful sight as I recall
      I held her in my arms when she was small
      I rocked her to sleep so many times
      Loved her as my own precious child
      She stole my heart with her sweet smile
      I can't understand why it all changed
      All I know is somehow she lost her way
      Now she has gone and taken her light
      Leaving us in so much sorrow and pain
      Now we only have emptiness in our arms
      And the memories she left behind
      No longer can we hear her dear voice
      Nor see or feel her sweet smiles and hugs
      No more greeting cards from wherever she went
      Telling us how much she missed us
      We didn't get to say our last goodbyes
      When she left us to never return
      We can't even go to her grave far away
      So many years we searched and searched
      Never could we imagine how it would end
      Nor how much pain she might have suffered
      We couldn't be there to protect her
      When we were robbed of our precious child
      Someone took her life that fateful night
      And left her lying so alone on that road
      May God forgive this person for all this pain
      They have brought into her and our lives
      Ada Elena, May God hold you in His hands
      Bringing you the peace you couldn't find
      While you were here in this world of pain
      We will love you always and forever

      © 2008 Raven Lenore

      Any thoughts would be really appreciated.

      Raven
      Last edited by Raven; 3 May 2009, 5:31 PM.
      Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo~

      A warrior is not one who always wins,
      but one who keeps on fighting to the end ~ Unknown ~

      Comment


        #4
        Raven - I really like the imagery of your first poem. The second one is very moving. The words are all simple, but altogether very powerful. Thank you for sharing something so personal.

        "ιn ѕoмe wayѕ ι love everyтнιng. ιт’ѕ leѕѕ oғ a тнιng тнan 'lιĸe'…leѕѕ dιѕтιncт. leѕѕ…parтιcυlar. ι lιĸe тнιngѕ тнaт ι lιĸe вυт ι love everyтнιng. тнere’ѕ мore cнoιce ιn ‘lιĸe’. вecaυѕe even тнe worѕт тнιngѕ нave тнιngѕ тo love ιn тнeм. ι love тнιngѕ ѕo мυcн ι ғeel lιĸe ι coυld ғloaт away."

        Comment


          #5
          I went back and forth about whether or not to post. I just write for fun, although I've taken a few (and hope to take more) creative writing courses. My favorite kind of poetry is 'slam poetry' (which is a recited emotional performance type of a piece), introduced to me by my amazing high school creative writing teacher and a lot of my own stuff retains that feel. Well, here goes nothing.

          Young and Undone

          Oh, Love.

          Your reaction to the fashion of my tragedy,
          Just teared the life and sucked the air right out of me.
          Ripped apart, ‘a broken heart’ revealed the autopsy,
          Once stitched together sloppily,
          But never fixed it properly.

          Scream out at a starless night sky,
          As dreams and cars and eerie beams of light fly by.
          Forbidden reminders of our midnight sins -
          Of ‘hush, Love, these walls are paper thin’,
          Wrists pinned, lips grinned.
          We were one and it was wonderful.

          Now epithets and effigies,
          And regrets you got the best of me
          Replace embraces and your guarantee
          With fear of fading traces,
          That you were ever really here.

          This wondering is meaningless,
          Self-preserved by thoughts thundering “you are dreaming this”.
          Energy reserved just to exist
          And hoping that it’s me you miss.

          And the stinging won’t stop stinging,
          Bemoan a phone that won’t be ringing.
          Bringing knees to carpet in pleas,
          Unbecoming, freeze.
          I know I’m clinging.

          Choked out ‘Did I ever matter?’
          My heart shatters, a kaleidoscope as bits and pieces scatter.
          Catching light, a worthless plight,
          Cease beating with a bloody splatter.

          Oh, the dramatics of this teenage angst,
          Symptomatic of a love that tanked.
          Last edited by infinity; 3 May 2009, 11:14 PM.

          "ιn ѕoмe wayѕ ι love everyтнιng. ιт’ѕ leѕѕ oғ a тнιng тнan 'lιĸe'…leѕѕ dιѕтιncт. leѕѕ…parтιcυlar. ι lιĸe тнιngѕ тнaт ι lιĸe вυт ι love everyтнιng. тнere’ѕ мore cнoιce ιn ‘lιĸe’. вecaυѕe even тнe worѕт тнιngѕ нave тнιngѕ тo love ιn тнeм. ι love тнιngѕ ѕo мυcн ι ғeel lιĸe ι coυld ғloaт away."

          Comment


            #6
            Thank you both for your input. Really appreciate it.

            Not feeling so great right now, but will come back when my meds start working. Just wanted to acknowledge your comments briefly for now.

            Raven
            Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo~

            A warrior is not one who always wins,
            but one who keeps on fighting to the end ~ Unknown ~

            Comment


              #7
              Infinity, I loved it. Am glad that you decided to go ahead and post your poem. Hope you continue to write more and post them here too.

              I have never taken any classes for writing any kind of poetry. I just write what my heart tells me to. I guess you could say that many times I also write to vent. Have found that it helps me a lot. There are times when I create images and situations and write down what I saw in my mind.

              I hope many more post their work here. Would love to read more. I'm sure there are other who write great works also.

              The following is another one I wrote last year.


              Darkness Of Night

              In the darkness of the night
              I awake in the midst of so much pain
              The stench of smoke and fire
              Overwhelms my ability to breathe

              A sound so familiar to my heart
              Wakes me and fills me with such dread
              The feelings of agony again come over me
              My body and my spirit cry out again

              The battle once more will begin
              The ache that weakens my entire being
              The feeling of no more strength
              Drowning and overpowering me

              How many more times will it come back
              How much more can this body bear
              The dragon has returned to attack
              To slowly destroy, tear my body and laugh

              It laughs as it multiplies inside of me
              I can feel it growing again and again
              It seems I can even see it facing me
              Bearing it's fangs in a cavernous hole

              Weakly I raise my hands to heaven
              I raise my eyes to the Lord above again
              Clasp them together as best as I can
              Closing my eyes again I began to pray

              Quietly begging for more strength
              Silent tears began to flow again
              I can feel the pain gradually subside
              Warm hands touch and soothe my body

              The answer to my prayer comes down
              Filling me with strength and peace
              Refreshing my soul and spirit again
              As His loving hands wipe tears from my eyes

              © 2008 -2009 Raven Lenore

              Raven
              Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo~

              A warrior is not one who always wins,
              but one who keeps on fighting to the end ~ Unknown ~

              Comment


                #8
                Great poems! I wish I could write. Very talented ladies.
                sigpic

                Comment


                  #9
                  I loved your last poem. The imagry was great, and it seemed to evoke the feelings of dispair which ended in a feeling of relief and comfort. The reader actually felt the feelings the composer was experiencing in the poem. I wish I could write poems, to find the right words and the rhyming verses. I am however, in a writing course for writing childrens literature, and I love it my mind just goes wild with adventures. Here was one of my assignment I wrote about a childhood place that was very dear to me and has held a lot of memories.



                  The Unusual Tree


                  It was hard for me to contain myself, being so excited to be spending the whole summer with grandma and grandpa. The bell finally rang, school is out for the summer I run out the door like a bullet shot through the barrel of a gun that had just been fired. Finally, I arrive at grandma and grandpas; it only took a few hours, although the time seemed to drag on. Perhaps it was the anticipation of actually being there that made it seem so long. Soon after we got there I head up stairs to sleep. When I wake the next morning, I feel the energy of the cool, invigorating summer morning air. I leap out of bed and as I charge down the stairs I see both grandma and grandpa sitting at the kitchen table lost in conversation, coffee in hand. I look at them and in an animated way, using extensive hand gestures say, “Good morning, the sun is shinning and I’m off for my morning walk!”
                  I decided to walk down to the overflow section of the campgrounds; this was the section of campsites used on big holidays when all the regular camp sites were all taken up. As I walk down the old broken up, abandoned, closed road I could hear the crickets serenading me and the chattering of the chipmunks.
                  I look down and notice the dew drops on the blades of grass that were in the areas where at one time was asphalt. However, through the years of abandonment and lack of upkeep, the road had begun to deteriorate. I felt a slight breeze in the air that was fresh and clean as it lightly flowed over my face and tickled my nose with the fragrance of honeysuckle as I inhale.
                  Everything is so peaceful and serene; I can hear the red breasted robins chirping in the trees, almost like having conversations with one another. I see out of the corner of my eye a couple chipmunks playing tag chasing one another up and down a tree. There is also a rabbit with her bunnies hopping along like an army marching in cadence. I walk further down the road, where there are two deer, a momma and her yearling, cocking their heads to the side begging me to follow them. Slowly, as calm and quiet as I can be, careful not to spook the duo, I follow.
                  Finally, I’m here, I’m at my destination, the unusual tree. The unusual tree is named that because, a long time ago as a sapling this tree was in a horrific, unforgiving storm. This magnificent tree is actually two trees that have grown to be one. One of the saplings was hit by lightning which created a hole, large enough for the branch of the other sapling to fit through. Almost, as if the saplings were siblings trying to help one another stay standing during the storm. As the trees matured, they grew and became one tree.
                  Last edited by babygirl79; 8 May 2009, 10:38 AM.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Thank you Mona and babygirl. I'm glad that you enjoyed the works written here. Also want to thank you babygirl for posting your writing. Will comment more on it later.

                    Wanted to share what I find now expresses more how at times I feel. Particularly now.


                    Journey In Hell

                    Traveling a tediously, long, lonely journey
                    Amid mist, danger, pain and disharmony
                    My body trembles and shakes in fear
                    Unknowing what may lie near

                    Thoroughly weak and weary I now thread
                    Yet fighting for what seems an eternity ahead
                    My body cries out and moans in hellish pain
                    Longing for rest, reprieve to attain

                    How did I enter this land of misery
                    When did I stumble and fall into atrocity
                    Questions plague me Which I attempt to dismiss
                    As foggy mist strangles me in this abyss

                    Blood curdling screams, and roars I hear
                    Coming from within me as I behold a ludicrous jeer
                    Feel the fire upon my flesh as it sizzles and sears
                    As my entire being feels the end is near


                    Nightmarish creatures I began to perceive
                    Realizing my heart I can no longer deceive
                    Monstrous and fire spewing monsters they be
                    Appearing and disappearing all around me


                    Devouring bits and pieces of me
                    Exhausted I toil upon this long journey
                    Their horrific red fiery eyes shine with glee
                    While they tear my body and destroy me

                    Strong, monstrous foes they've multiplied
                    While inside of my being they did abide
                    What can I ever do to get free from this misery
                    Wiping tears on my eyes, I keep plodding on feebly

                    The light I followed ahead I can no longer see
                    All around is the fire that consumes me
                    Finally I attempt from this hell to flee
                    The creature's face now appears in front of me

                    I shiver and tremble as I face my reality
                    Wipe my tears as I realize its' brutality
                    I can not ever win the physical battle I fight
                    The Dragon has now made my soul take flight

                    © 2008 Raven Lenore

                    Raven
                    Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo~

                    A warrior is not one who always wins,
                    but one who keeps on fighting to the end ~ Unknown ~

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Raven, that is very good poetry. You've come a long way with your writing. I like its authenticity and vivid imagery. And I think most here have a thorough understanding because of what your poem brings to each of our minds.
                      Originally posted by Raven View Post
                      Journey In Hell

                      Traveling a tediously, long, lonely journey
                      Amid mist, danger, pain and disharmony
                      My body trembles and shakes in fear
                      Unknowing what may lie near

                      Thoroughly weak and weary I now thread
                      Yet fighting for what seems an eternity ahead
                      My body cries out and moans in hellish pain
                      Longing for rest, reprieve to attain

                      How did I enter this land of misery
                      When did I stumble and fall into atrocity
                      Questions plague me Which I attempt to dismiss
                      As foggy mist strangles me in this abyss

                      Blood curdling screams, and roars I hear
                      Coming from within me as I behold a ludicrous jeer
                      Feel the fire upon my flesh as it sizzles and sears
                      As my entire being feels the end is near


                      Nightmarish creatures I began to perceive
                      Realizing my heart I can no longer deceive
                      Monstrous and fire spewing monsters they be
                      Appearing and disappearing all around me


                      Devouring bits and pieces of me
                      Exhausted I toil upon this long journey
                      Their horrific red fiery eyes shine with glee
                      While they tear my body and destroy me

                      Strong, monstrous foes they've multiplied
                      While inside of my being they did abide
                      What can I ever do to get free from this misery
                      Wiping tears on my eyes, I keep plodding on feebly

                      The light I followed ahead I can no longer see
                      All around is the fire that consumes me
                      Finally I attempt from this hell to flee
                      The creature's face now appears in front of me

                      I shiver and tremble as I face my reality
                      Wipe my tears as I realize its' brutality
                      I can not ever win the physical battle I fight
                      The Dragon has now made my soul take flight

                      © 2008 Raven Lenore

                      Raven
                      Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
                      Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

                      Thanks!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        babygirl, great short story. I love your use of detail to make it so real and tangible to the reader. Good stuff, good story.
                        Originally posted by babygirl79 View Post
                        The Unusual Tree

                        It was hard for me to contain myself, being so excited to be spending the whole summer with grandma and grandpa. The bell finally rang, school is out for the summer I run out the door like a bullet shot through the barrel of a gun that had just been fired. Finally, I arrive at grandma and grandpas; it only took a few hours, although the time seemed to drag on. Perhaps it was the anticipation of actually being there that made it seem so long. Soon after we got there I head up stairs to sleep. When I wake the next morning, I feel the energy of the cool, invigorating summer morning air. I leap out of bed and as I charge down the stairs I see both grandma and grandpa sitting at the kitchen table lost in conversation, coffee in hand. I look at them and in an animated way, using extensive hand gestures say, “Good morning, the sun is shinning and I’m off for my morning walk!”
                        I decided to walk down to the overflow section of the campgrounds; this was the section of campsites used on big holidays when all the regular camp sites were all taken up. As I walk down the old broken up, abandoned, closed road I could hear the crickets serenading me and the chattering of the chipmunks.
                        I look down and notice the dew drops on the blades of grass that were in the areas where at one time was asphalt. However, through the years of abandonment and lack of upkeep, the road had begun to deteriorate. I felt a slight breeze in the air that was fresh and clean as it lightly flowed over my face and tickled my nose with the fragrance of honeysuckle as I inhale.
                        Everything is so peaceful and serene; I can hear the red breasted robins chirping in the trees, almost like having conversations with one another. I see out of the corner of my eye a couple chipmunks playing tag chasing one another up and down a tree. There is also a rabbit with her bunnies hopping along like an army marching in cadence. I walk further down the road, where there are two deer, a momma and her yearling, cocking their heads to the side begging me to follow them. Slowly, as calm and quiet as I can be, careful not to spook the duo, I follow.
                        Finally, I’m here, I’m at my destination, the unusual tree. The unusual tree is named that because, a long time ago as a sapling this tree was in a horrific, unforgiving storm. This magnificent tree is actually two trees that have grown to be one. One of the saplings was hit by lightning which created a hole, large enough for the branch of the other sapling to fit through. Almost, as if the saplings were siblings trying to help one another stay standing during the storm. As the trees matured, they grew and became one tree.
                        Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
                        Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

                        Thanks!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Babygirl, I liked your short story. Liked the way you described the things you see and in a way felt as if you were taking me there. Very good story.

                          Thanks Bob. I have been trying to express myself better too. I don't know what happened with my writings from when I was in school. Used to love to write then and get good grades but have somehow lost it in between then and now. Too many times I think that the ammonia levels make my mind blur and as hard as I try, can't seem to find the words I want to say. I will keep trying though.

                          Raven
                          Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo~

                          A warrior is not one who always wins,
                          but one who keeps on fighting to the end ~ Unknown ~

                          Comment


                            #14
                            my broken neck has left me numb
                            life has emptied all its fun
                            pain and sorrow fill my day
                            alone i suffer, the price I pay

                            they say be strong you'll see the light
                            each day a struggle, an endless fight
                            my soul grows dark with passing time
                            my rage toward god has made me blind

                            can't touch my kids or love my wife
                            without a cure please take my life
                            with my last breath I pray for peace
                            so all my hurt and pain will cease
                            Han: "We are all ready to win, just as we are born knowing only life. It is defeat that you must learn to prepare for"

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Raven - your "Journey in Hell" piece was really moving. I could feel the pain and the anguish. Your fight and strength really shine through, whether that was your intention or not. I can see that the Dragon metaphor is very meaningful to you because it makes an appearance in many poems. I can see college English classes dissecting your imagery and writing papers drawing their own conclusions from your words - it's timeless and well-written and layered in meaning. *applause*

                              "ιn ѕoмe wayѕ ι love everyтнιng. ιт’ѕ leѕѕ oғ a тнιng тнan 'lιĸe'…leѕѕ dιѕтιncт. leѕѕ…parтιcυlar. ι lιĸe тнιngѕ тнaт ι lιĸe вυт ι love everyтнιng. тнere’ѕ мore cнoιce ιn ‘lιĸe’. вecaυѕe even тнe worѕт тнιngѕ нave тнιngѕ тo love ιn тнeм. ι love тнιngѕ ѕo мυcн ι ғeel lιĸe ι coυld ғloaт away."

                              Comment

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