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    I wasn't sensitive...

    I'm a mid level para...right?

    Well...for some reason, people INSIST on holding the door for me, whenever, whereever. And it PISSES me off!

    Why? Well...when I go into the public washrooms, they aren't sensitive to the fact that I can only use the stall with the big doors on them..that's where they go to defecate on company time.

    And when they park, they see no problem with parking coccide, or too close to each other. Or even better, ON THE RAMP, so I have to pop a curb to get to work!

    Anyway, I had had a runnin with my boyfriend one day, and I was annoyed. so when somebody tried to hold the door I smiled and said "please don't hold the door for me thanks"

    So was I insensitive? People just don't GET IT. if they REALLY want to help, use the stall with the small DOOR ON IT! idiots

    #2
    The AB "courtesy" move that drives me batshit is when I'm in a crowded elevator near the rear, the doors open, and everybody stands there, staring at me, waiting for me to get off first.

    Do they not get that I am probably going to have to roll over feet to get to the door? Who's less likely to lose a limb if the doors start to close, me safely within my metal chair frame, or a walkie who sticks their arm in between them? Not to mention, of course, that it's hard, if not impossible, to get past those people who stand within the doorway to hold the doors open. GRRRR.
    It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.

    ~Julius Caesar

    Comment


      #3
      Be MORE..... GREATFUL

      Originally posted by JakeHalsted View Post
      I'm a mid level para...right?

      Well...for some reason, people INSIST on holding the door for me, whenever, whereever. And it PISSES me off!

      Anyway, I had had a runnin with my boyfriend one day, and I was annoyed. so when somebody tried to hold the door I smiled and said "please don't hold the door for me thanks"

      So was I insensitive? People just don't GET IT. if they REALLY want to help, use the stall with the small DOOR ON IT! idiots
      -------------------------------------------------------------------

      Dude-

      Get the "F" over it. I had a person who pulled the door shut in front of me, once.

      When some one holds the door for you SAY..... "THANK YOU". If you cannot be thankful for the little grattitudes, in this life, then you truely are a bitter ungreatful SCI.

      It has been 4 years post injury and I have been on a personal crusade to thank family and friends whom visited me in the hospital and helped me in my recovery.

      The people who hold the door for you are not feeling sorry for you they are offfering you a helping hand, that this SCI needs on a continuous basis. It is not that I require their assistance but it makes my new condition in life that much easier.

      To group bathroom stalls, curb ramps, and door holding into the same category you see the world in a continuous disabled entitlement to your self. I doubt that the same guy who parked on the curb ramp is crapping in your wide door stall "On Company Time".

      It is your entitlement to RANT.

      Just my $0.02

      Comment


        #4
        I'm guilty of that and I'm married to a quad ... I just figure its kinda a pain in the butt to hold the door open if you're in a chair, so I just hold it open to be nice. I'd rather tick someone off trying to be nice than tick them off by being a bonehead and ignoring them / dropping the door on them.

        ETA: I *totally* agree with you on the use of the handicapped stall - it makes me crazy when people use them whe there are 3 perfectly fine empty stalls (and they are all stalls in the chick's bathroom ). Women often recommend to each other that they use the HC stall for breastfeeding. UHHHHH no!!!! I read that advice in a parenting magazine once and fired off a letter to the editor to PLEASE rescind that advice. They didn't. Oh well. But I agree, that is very annoying.
        Last edited by zillazangel; 27 Mar 2009, 1:32 PM.
        Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

        Comment


          #5
          Jake, dammit. I'm a quad. Poppin' a curb is not an option for me. And a lot of the time, I need help with doors!

          Got a bf prob? Yell atcher bf. Got an asshole using the dis toilet stall in an empty bathroom? Yell at HIM. Somebody parked on the ramp? Make sure they see you rolling around the vehicle taking photos with your phone. Say "Sir, this is illegal parking. I've documented your vehicle and tag number but to complete my report, could I please get a photo of you?"

          Don't be behind the vehicle when you do this, as he will PEEL out of that parking lot!

          But don't yell at ppl holding doors. Some of us kind of rely on that!
          Blog:
          Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

          Comment


            #6
            Just smile, nod and say thank you.

            If you have a problem with it, look at it this way... YOU are helping THEM. They are just trying to help. A show of appreciation from you - Even though you don't need their help - Makes them feel they did a good deed for the day.

            Comment


              #7
              everyone's entitled to their own opinion, perspective and reaction to others trying to help. I get it and I have my pissed off moments, i.e. bathroom stalls, parking and the like. Communicate to your co-workers in a calm, friendly manner and my guess is they'll be a little more aware of your needs and how they can do their part in making your access a little easier. If you don't ask you don't get.

              When it comes to the general population and how we treat them we can all do whatever we please. However, if you stop and think for a moment your reaction / action reflects (in this case negatively) entirely on the disabled community. People then form opinions and apply stereotypes, right or wrong, in our direction. If someone has a bad experience because you yelled at them for trying to help by holding the door for you then the problem is not them, it's you. Look in the mirror, ask yourself if it was really necessary and helpful to admonish a stranger and then think if you were a higher level injury that couldn't open the door and you needed the help how much easier it would have been if you just shut your mouth, smiled and said thank you. The general population has no clue as to whether you're a T7 para or a C4 quad. Think about it, you only have one chance to make a first impression.


              Onward and upward,

              Chris

              Comment


                #8
                I like it when people open doors for me and if I go in first and see someone coming I keep the door open for them. AB people open doors for each other all the time to me its just rude as hell to let the door shut in someone's face.
                A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. ~Winston Churchill

                Comment


                  #9
                  Well...ya never know if the AB person who is using the wide stall has an invisible health condition like spastic colon/irritable bowel syndrome, or maybe they take a fluid pill...and ALL the stalls were full when they got there except the wide one...

                  Just a thought...

                  It's basically easier for ME to use the wide stall at work, and I do walk, but need the rails sometimes for support to manuver...remember, it's handicapped accessible, not "wheelchair only"...

                  I do know one little elderly lady that would NOT use the wide stall...she would have rather have to go home and change clothes than to be in someone's way that was using a chair..., God bless her heart...

                  I have the same situation at work, people tend to use that stall because it is the last one in the bathroom, furtherst from the hallway, and therefore does not make the hallway "smell" if they have to "go"...

                  lol.

                  Have a great weekend, all!

                  Teena

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Aliya View Post
                    I like it when people open doors for me and if I go in first and see someone coming I keep the door open for them. AB people open doors for each other all the time to me its just rude as hell to let the door shut in someone's face.
                    Amen to this!

                    But I have a friend who is a para, and he is pretty stubborn...lol. (like I'm NOT stubborn! lol)

                    And when he first got injured, I tried holding the door for HIM...and he let me know REALLY fast that HE was the guy, and HE would be holding the door for HIMSELF...and for ME...lol.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Dude, just smile and say thank you. Some of us really need the courtesy of strangers, so don't screw it up for us. Some gentleman asked me yesterday if I would like him to put my groceries on the belt at checkout. Damn straight I would. He looked almost scared to ask, maybe because he ran into a bitter retort from some other crip. I smiled and said that would be great, and that I appreciated it. Try to remember that all of us are not as limber as you might be.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        My favorite is when people hold the door for me, and stand in the doorway. My second is when they hold automatic doors. You never know when those auto doors are playing opossum.
                        Stupidity ain't illegal, but it sure is inconvenient.


                        Help me support the 2010 Bike MS.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by teena View Post
                          Well...ya never know if the AB person who is using the wide stall has an invisible health condition like spastic colon/irritable bowel syndrome, or maybe they take a fluid pill...and ALL the stalls were full when they got there except the wide one...

                          Just a thought...

                          It's basically easier for ME to use the wide stall at work, and I do walk, but need the rails sometimes for support to manuver...remember, it's handicapped accessible, not "wheelchair only"...

                          I do know one little elderly lady that would NOT use the wide stall...she would have rather have to go home and change clothes than to be in someone's way that was using a chair..., God bless her heart...

                          I have the same situation at work, people tend to use that stall because it is the last one in the bathroom, furtherst from the hallway, and therefore does not make the hallway "smell" if they have to "go"...

                          lol.

                          Have a great weekend, all!

                          Teena
                          I was in the Atlanta airport the other day. 30 empty stalls. Somebody was changing clothes in the 1 h/c stall. I try to be a good ambassador, 99% of the time I succeed. That time I lost it. No stroller, no crutches, no chair. See, I'm sitting DOWN HERE, so I can see under the door.

                          My bff later said "I'm being really quiet, b/c I do that too. Those stalls have more room!"

                          I said "Nooooo! We ALL have flights to catch, but the disabled have a lot more trouble peeing on the plane! We get 1 stall out of 30, we share it w/ every mother w/ small children already!"

                          If every stall is full, use the h/c one. But if you can walk your butt into an open AB stall, do so. No spastic colon or water pill makes that a problem. I did it on crutches for years. I don't buy the bar excuse. If the AB stalls are so narrow, use them to grab!

                          If we CAN stagger a few steps into an AB stall-and I can-we have to leave our w/chair, loaded w/ all the possessions we travel with, OUTSIDE THE STALL. We have to pee w/ the door open. And if someone wants to pick up my backpack and walk off with it, I can't do squat.

                          I make no allowances on the h/c stall. That needs to be sacred, esp. in airports. No invisible disability issues allowed.

                          Maybe the answer is more h/c stalls in airports?

                          If I were AB, even w/ an invisible disability, I wouldn't use that stall. I'd be afraid to come out of it and find ME sitting there, scowling, arms crossed. I don't do the fakey "Oh, that's ok" thing in that situation. Because it's NOT.

                          But I'd never get mad at someone for getting a door for me. That's senseless. How is somebody supposed to know your injury level? They're just trying to help.
                          Blog:
                          Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Fortunately, with my injury level I can open doors myself and don't need anyone to hold them open; however, if someone opens a door for me, I smile and thank them graciously. If they ask if I need help before doing so, I'll say that I can do it myself, but if you want to help that would be great!

                            Now, blocking a ramp is a totally different story!
                            T11 incomplete

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Wellll a lady once told me that it says handicapped accessible not handicapped only. WTF This was in a Walmart in FLorida. She was lucky I couldn't get up out of that chair. I'm SURE she was illegally parked in a HC spot.
                              The door thing doesn't bother me. Except when I'm a mile away and I feel pressured to hurry up just so I can make them feel better for standing there for 5 minutes holding the door. Or when I'm getting lined up to open the door and they open the wrong one making me have to back up and reallign. But it doesn't make me mad it just reminds me where I sit.
                              If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


                              Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

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