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    not giving your kid christmas presents

    has anybody just left the tree empty for a 16 yr old? my son just busted my brand new cordless phone by throwing it. am i supposed to put something under the tree???

    we have no relatives, so no family dinner, no nothing. wth am i supposed to do? this is breaking my heart.

    #2
    Put a cordless phone under the tree.
    Okay I'm sorry no time for joking. I am sorry you are experiencing this. I am horrified of what I may be in for. I wasn't terrible to my parents but I have some paybacks coming. It may not help but I'll try to send some positive thoughts for coping your way. I know that you two have been through a lot this year, especially with the loss of your friend.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

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      #3
      Aw noooo, Cass. I am SOOO sorry! Why do they do it? I just flashed on Jake smashing my laptop pc on the ground. I think it was b/c it was midnight, some girl was having personal problems and I refused to let him go console her (and wallow in her drama.)

      I just thought I'd share that b/c I was so ashamed at the time that I think I didn't post it on CC. Don't want you feeling like you are the only mom it's ever happened to.

      I don't know why they are so batshit crazy, or what you should do about presents. I would def have a phone under the tree. He's plenty old enough to understand that you all have to have a phone, times are tight, actions have consequences, and he CHOSE to spend his gift money on a cordless phone.

      If you DO decide another gift is in order, I have a suggestion...he needs a punching bag. A shrink suggested it to us. Every teenage boy needs one, they have too much energy. That energy coupled with the brain damaging level of testosterone they are assaulted by really plays hell with exprmive electronics.

      Ho ho humbug, my friend. As the Duke used to say, Don't let the bastards get you down!
      Blog:
      Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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        #4
        Sorry to hear this Cass. I agree thered should be another phone under the tree, with your name on it from him, then let him shovel some of this snow we're supposed to get. Merry Christmas, and I hope this evens out. Guy

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          #5
          So sorry to hear Cass. Growing pains seem to just go on and on eh? The thing is that like the others have said .. Consequences need to also be met. As hard and painful as it may feel, it is also a process we all have to go through. Growing up can not be achieved if we don't face those darn consequences. The best thing we can also give our growing kids is teaching them that. May take years but the lesson needs to be learned. Get a phone and present it to yourself. He needs to know it is essential or necessary in case of emergencies for you most of all. His anger/frustration/whatever needs to be directed elsewhere and not you directly or indirectly.

          Hang on, this crazy trip will have an end to it someday. He will learn, just bear with it a bit more. The end result will most likely make you feel proud.

          Raven
          Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo~

          A warrior is not one who always wins,
          but one who keeps on fighting to the end ~ Unknown ~

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            #6
            ok...ok...deep breaths...betheny, my son has slammed my laptop down many times...maybe a dell keeps working? i dunno. but i found a bill cosby video on netflix that is perfect. called bill cosby himself. i can stream it to my laptop. first 15 min or so not helpful, but the majority is about parenting and i can tell you, it is dead on. "made" my offspring watch it tonight. he thought it funny until it hit too close to home. cause he likes to tell everybody i'm crazy....then he hears the same complaints from cosby.

            betheny, you need to watch this. if i had your address, i'd buy the dvd and send it to you. brings some sanity back with humor.
            http://www.netflix.com/WiMovie/Bill_...2?trkid=188469

            thx you ppl for listening to me. i love my kid more than anything, which is why i'm reaching out. i was a real pain in the ass too, but i had 2 parents, neither of which were paralyzed.

            addiesue, i sure hope you don't run into this. guy, i KNOW why you don't tell me how to contact you and don't blame ya and i'm praying for the snow....

            raven, as always, you have known me a long time. i know you've been thru worse and i thank you.

            happy holidays everybody. i may spend mine with covers over my head listening to books on my ipod...GEESH!
            Last edited by cass; 17 Dec 2008, 5:47 AM.

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              #7
              I wanted to send my niece and nephew on this but now they're too old (and they straightened out). Send him on a tall ship for the summer - he'll work as part of the crew and learn teamwork and motivation!

              http://www.tallships.org/

              (Plus you get a vacation out of the deal - lol).
              Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

              T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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                #8
                Hang in there Cass, they do grow up. Some day it will amaze you what they actually heard you saying at times.

                The phone under the tree idea is a good one. It should come out of his part of Christmas.

                One thing I did learn the hard way, never have a discussion when both of us were mad. The kid does'nt want to listen in the best of times and I want it to be my way no matter what.


                By the way, I have Bill Cosby, Himself. It's great!

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                  #9
                  Cass, after raising to boys on my own, I never experienced where they destroyed anything. We just had a lot of heated discussions. I think at that age they are going through alot of changes in their mind and body, when both are calm try to sit down and discuss things. Easier said then done for teenagers dont really like to talk to mom, but somehow try to find whats going on in his mind.
                  I came to the realization, I dont think teens are human anymore, they become some sort of alien in our home. I blamed it all on their fathers genes. (smile)
                  sigpic

                  Stay safe my son. See you around thanksgiving!

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                    #10
                    Hi Cass ..... my theory .. kids in pain are angry beasts .... that combined with the hormones ... well .. look out !! Our middle child put us through the wringer in her teens ... a few strategicaly placed holes in the door .. many f bombs thrown here and there .... I even considered foster care cause she didn't want to live with us anymore ..... but somehow we got through it with a little counselling and alot of true grit .....

                    Sometimes I think she is still an angry child but she's learned (and is still learning) to deal with the life she's been dealt and has also learned to channel her negative energies in more appropriate ways .... since she's out and on her own she lives much more directly with the consequences of her actions because she has learned not everyone loves her unconditionally like we do and won't put up with the bs .... so she has to work harder at it !

                    I guess my message of hope here is this too shall pass ... Kat now works with young children and has become a very giving and thoughtful person ... she's apologized to me many times for those days and I believe she has paid her dues ...

                    You know I think this time of year is equally hard on kids as some adults .... the pressure is everywhere to be typical and normal .. so much pretty pretty happy happy "families" lovin' each other up in whole and complete bodies all over the damn place ... pisses me off myself a little ..... hang in there cass ...

                    Obie
                    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


                    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
                    Jane Siberry

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                      #11
                      I maybe totally offbase here but he sounds like he's a spoiled brat. He knows he can get away with murder, . I think nothing under the Christmas tree would be a good thing & furthermore make him pay for stuff he breaks.
                      Last edited by canuck; 17 Dec 2008, 4:17 PM.

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                        #12
                        sorry to hear cass ...i have no kids but i always knew one thing ...some kids are good ...some are bad.human nature ,education ,dna ...and many other things.my nephew pissed me off as well many times regarding his way of living and asking for presents only .kids you know ...not matures enough.

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                          #13
                          Buy a new phone, wrap it, put it under the tree with his name on it. When he opens it up you can say.."Wow, what a coincidence that Santa would give you a phone to replace the one you broke?? (look astonished), Glory be, what are the odds?"

                          Merry Christmas Johnny...

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                            #14
                            Fights, arguments, and blowouts happen, it's a shame this close to christmas but all you can do is carry on as you normally would, this will pass. Try and have a great holiday!
                            Dave
                            C5/C6 complete
                            http://www.davegrotzinger.com
                            http://www.daves-webdesign.com

                            "I knew all the rules but the rules did not know me guaranteed..." - Eddie Vedder

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by canuck View Post
                              I maybe totally offbase here but he sounds like he's a spoiled brat.
                              A teenager breaks a phone once and that proves he's a "spoiled brat?" That's quite a leap.

                              He knows he can get away with murder
                              Cass is talking about how to respond to this incident. If she were going to just blow it off, I don't think she would go out of her way to ask people for advice.

                              C.

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