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So, When Are You Gonna Get Out Of That Chair For Good?

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  • So, When Are You Gonna Get Out Of That Chair For Good?

    Someone asked me this yesterday. He's seen me walking with forearm crutches, which I use for short distances on good days.The person who asked this is a generally nice guy and I'm sure he didn't mean to upset me, but this question always puts me in an emotional place that is not very comfortable.

    I feel like I've been sentenced to a life in some kind of fucked up limbo/pergatory between walking full-time and using a wheelchair. Not too many months after my injury, a PT told me that I would probably always need a wheelchair for anything more than short distances. This opinion infuriated me at the time; but more than a year into this journey, I'm beginning to see that her opinion was correct and I'm trying to accept that it's OK. However, everytime someone asks me the question stated above I am hurled into a sea of self-doubt and gulit over not being able to walk full-time just by "trying harder."
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." -Gloria Steinem

  • #2
    Yep! That is one of the most hurtful questions I get, too. Another statement that drives me to sadness is, "it breaks my heart to see you in that chair." I try not to lash out at these well meaning people, but I have to admit that I have a few times.

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    • #3
      Cheerily:"Just as soon as I can. I'm working on it." (and i hope you roast in hell until my effortless, fully functional walking breaks the curse my shit eating grin just cast upon you.)
      Foolish

      "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

      "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

      "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

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      • #4
        I get a variant of this. People tell me about so-and-so's cousin's brother, who had an injury "just like you" and the doctors said he's never walk again. But he swore he would do it anyway, and he worked really hard and prayed every day and now he's walking again!

        Different injuries have different effects. Even some people here on this forum don't understand that!

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        • #5
          I think it's a fairly normal and understandable reaction - in most people's experience, one recovers from injuries, like a broken leg. It's a matter of education.
          Some day...
          - Richard

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          • #6
            Danine and everyone - I share your frustration about people making comparisons to their injuries, or to the injury of someone they know. I love it when someone says, "I know exactly how you feel walking with those canes, I broke my leg last year."

            I am two years and fifteen days post injury (but who's counting). If there is one thing I have found it is that everything takes monumentally longer than you hope or plan that it will for recovery and rebuilding.

            Don't ever be satisfied. Just keep working a little more each day. And push the limits every time you can. I am not asking you to be patient because the whole things sucks. Just keep working. Everyone's inury and recovery is different so I know what works for me may not work for you...but you owe to yourself to try.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by AK686
              Danine and everyone - I share your frustration about people making comparisons to their injuries, or to the injury of someone they know. I love it when someone says, "I know exactly how you feel walking with those canes, I broke my leg last year."

              I am two years and fifteen days post injury (but who's counting). If there is one thing I have found it is that everything takes monumentally longer than you hope or plan that it will for recovery and rebuilding.

              Don't ever be satisfied. Just keep working a little more each day. And push the limits every time you can. I am not asking you to be patient because the whole things sucks. Just keep working. Everyone's inury and recovery is different so I know what works for me may not work for you...but you owe to yourself to try.
              You should post more often, AK686. You have wisdom to share. Thanks.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by AK686
                Danine and everyone - I share your frustration about people making comparisons to their injuries, or to the injury of someone they know. I love it when someone says, "I know exactly how you feel walking with those canes, I broke my leg last year."

                I am two years and fifteen days post injury (but who's counting). If there is one thing I have found it is that everything takes monumentally longer than you hope or plan that it will for recovery and rebuilding.

                Don't ever be satisfied. Just keep working a little more each day. And push the limits every time you can. I am not asking you to be patient because the whole things sucks. Just keep working. Everyone's inury and recovery is different so I know what works for me may not work for you...but you owe to yourself to try.
                Welcome to CC. You're right on the money.




                I'll get out of this chair when God calls me home.
                sigpic

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mona~on~wheels
                  Welcome to CC. You're right on the money.




                  I'll get out of this chair when God calls me home.
                  Listen up, God is an idiot if he put you in a chair, what was you? A bank robber or something?

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                  • #10
                    SoFla & Mona - thank you for your kind words. You will probably see me around a bit more. I look forward to "chatting" with everyone.

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                    • #11
                      My alcoholic brother used to ask me every visit, about my forearm crutches. Not sure he ever saw me in my chair (I'm in it fulltime now.) He was brilliant before he sacrificed all those brain cells.
                      Blog:
                      Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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                      • #12
                        What Rfbdorf said in #5.

                        Copy an illustrated view of a spinal cord with abbreviated limbs and and arrows pointing to six or seven key vertebra with color coded spine sections and descriptions of resultant motor and sensory loses and your own injury arrow drawn in with "My injury a complete break (or variant).

                        Make up a few hundred and always carry a dozen or so when out in public. Distribute as indicated and with an earnest expression and tone tell the person that the sheet will answer all their questions and if they're still having doubts after reading it they may be able to catch you on isle seven; or at Starbucks; or waiting for the bus on Main. You'll have gone 'above and beyond' on answering their questions and you'll rarely have to deal with any followup; at least not in the same vein.
                        "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
                        J.B.S.Haldane

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Mona~on~wheels




                          I'll get out of this chair when God calls me home.


                          Although I continue to hope that I will wake up and walk, I am with you Mona.
                          I use to get upset when people ask me questions like that, but now I smile and just answer, "soon I hope" and let it go at that. There's no point in me getting upset by a question that I wouldn't think twice about if I was ablebodied with say a broken leg. It takes too much of my energy to get upset about questions asked out of the lack of knowing.
                          __________________________________
                          C4/5 functioning on a C6 level, use of left hand, no triceps

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                          • #14
                            I wish... someday...

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                            • #15
                              Thanks to all who have responded. It's interesting to get some different perspectives on this. As you can see, I'm still struggling with a lot of identity issues because of having to deal with living in limbo.
                              "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." -Gloria Steinem

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