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how many really think they deserved this injury or benefitted by it?

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    how many really think they deserved this injury or benefitted by it?

    i am so tired of this crap. i know i wasn't an angel, but i was only sitting at red light. i know shit happens, but this recent increased pain is killing me and i don't know how much more i can take.

    please, no sympathy or empathy. i'm asking, do you think there is a reason for this? do you think it helped you? in what way?
    229
    has it helped you?
    5.68%
    13
    has it ruined your life?
    45.41%
    104
    did it save your life?
    5.68%
    13
    are you just ok with it and keeping on?
    43.67%
    100

    #2
    I just think it forced me to grow up a lot faster than I would have in my otherwise normal life, and it has allowed me to meet a lot of good friends and influential people and opened up opportunities that probably wouldn't have otherwise been available to me.

    With only 5 years under my belt, I am still considered slightly new, so I can't say I know what you're going through.

    It sucks for sure.
    If there is light
    it will find
    you

    --Charles Bukowski

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by cass
      i'm asking, do you think there is a reason for this? do you think it helped you?
      No and no.

      I believe strongly in Chance. Sometimes, shit just happens. What is important is how you deal with it. Not that succumbing to pain and a lack of purpose and independence is something I would condemn anyone for. Even that can be handled with grace.

      C.

      Comment


        #4
        I do not know how to answer this...besides the last choice. There are days I do think it has benefitted me...because it has shown me how strong I really am...but there are other days where I just want to give up because I am so frustrated with my progressions, or my pain, or just realizing that something I used to be able to do I can't do anymore. I cannot say I know what you are going through, but for me...it is a day to day thing.
        "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing's going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss

        Comment


          #5
          My accident was because of something i did.I got drunk and crashed an ATV. So i am quite ok with what happened to me but i also feel like life is like the Movie Final Destination..if i were to have not gotten on that four wheeler i feel as though something else would have happened to me. It could have been that if i didn't wreck that night maybe on my way home with my girlfriend we could have gotten in a car wreck and both died. I don't know i think its fate. what has happened to me was supposed to happen. If it was for me to stop drinking or for me and my mom to have a better relationship or to change other peoples lives.
          T-7 Complete
          "If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

          Comment


            #6
            No. I think you can find a purpose but I don't believe that there is a purpose. So most of us have had bad luck.

            What drives me crazy about the fate versus chance concept unveils itself when well-intentioned people approach me trying to convince that I'm working off past karma or I made a choice in the past life, or God/Jesus wants me to be in the chair to " be special".

            I've decided it's their own insecurities being projected upon me. Some attempt for the human brain to find something logical in the illogical world. Oh well -- that debate will go on for eternity in an infinite amount of possibilities.

            Comment


              #7
              I put it ruined my life because it did. I was sleepwalking. Sometimes I think I could have accepted this sooner or better if it happened because of what I did.

              Can you put two answers because I am moving forward and am now getting better at accepting the fact that this is the new norm.

              Comment


                #8
                I am still in the process of "adapting" since society doesn't seems to be adapting to us at all. As for now, I can say that drunk person that hit me ruined my life, and not his, he only suffered a broken arm, and some bruises and he still living his life the way he used to live it before the crash. I am not!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by jen05
                  I am still in the process of "adapting" since society doesn't seems to be adapting to us at all. As for now, I can say that drunk person that hit me ruined my life, and not his, he only suffered a broken arm, and some bruises and he still living his life the way he used to live it before the crash. I am not!
                  Jen, many if not most of us here are in that same boat: somebody else did this to us. My own experience - and it took me most of the decades I've lived post to come to it - is that the sooner we can move past the blaming phase of this mess the better will be our outlook and prospects for a worthwhile future. And, again, welcome to the CC community.
                  "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
                  J.B.S.Haldane

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I dived into a river and broke my neck,also would not say i was sober but also not drunk,just a hot day and went for a swim. Im still having my drinks and trying to make the best out of a bad thing. 1 thing that that i can say happened for the better is that im living closer to God now cause his my only hope and gives me strenght threw this bad time.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Had a heart attack and fell off a ladder, they tell me if I had been at home in my recliner when it happened I would not be here today.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I would for sure have had a nice university education if it wasn't for my SCI. And I would have had a nice job and maybe even a nice husband since I only have possibility for the left overs

                        I bothers me that the men don't look at me as a sexual person anymore, I am just the woman in wheelchair with three children. I like a flirt when I am out, not stupid question about my sexllife and how I pee.
                        TH 12, 43 years post

                        Comment


                          #13
                          How many answers are there for "was there a reason"? Either it comes back to really fucking bad luck, or one believes that a higher power somehow, someway played a role. Any of the above will depend on what one believed before their injury, and can change with time. It's such an individual thing that one person's answer really isn't going to change anyone else's beliefs about the "why" of it - imo. Nor does the "why" of it change that it happened, and the cards that were dealt have to be played however the individual best can.

                          Debbie would tell you that it was the shit she dealt with before her sci that gave her strength to get through it. She may have had more character building and learned some life lessons faster than the average person as a result of dealing with sci, but believes there are kinder and gentler ways of getting those lessons. But... it is what it is and she can't change it, so she plays with cards she was dealt with with as much grace as she can. Some days it's easier than others.
                          Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
                          - Albert Einstein

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I'll answer the poll questions since they are things I have been thinking a lot about lately
                            has it helped you?

                            I wrote about this in the "perks of disability" thread. While I would never say the injury itself was a positive thing or that it helped me in any way at all, I do seem to need to find and hold onto whatever rare positives have come out of it. Otherwise I would not get through this. The positives are admittedly few and far in between. But they include a few dear friends I have made here are care cure and from rehab. I also do think that it has made me a kinder, more patient person, who is much more aware of the suffering of others. It has brought me closer to my family, taught me what love and committment really means.



                            has it ruined your life?
                            Absolutely yes. It has completely destroyed my life and has taken away all my hopes and dreams for the future. Everything I was working toward, everything I hoped to be and do with my life, was taken away in a few seconds. I can't get over this and I don't think I ever will.

                            did it save your life?
                            No. My life didn't need saving when this happened. I was very content with my life and had great hopes for the future. In truth, I more often than not wish I hadn't survived that day at all. But I can fully respect when people say their own injuries saved their lives because they were heading down a destructive path.


                            are you just ok with it and keeping on?

                            Honestly no I am not just okay with it.

                            I have good and bad days. Far more bad days than good it seems. On the bad days I think "enough is enough" and I often feel no desire or strength to keep dealing with this. That the bad days seem to be increasing lately worries me in some ways. Makes me more indifferent to life in general in other ways. On the good days, which I thankfully do still have on occasion, my thinking goes more along the lines of this: I am not okay with things but this is how they are. So I have to move forward because I have no choice.

                            I can remember there was a time during my first year hurt that I would lay in my bed every day and cry and think "why can't I just wish this all away?" That thought still enters my mind from time to time. But mostly now it has been replaced with "what the f**k did I do to ever deserve this?"

                            I think rather than being okay with the injury, I am pretty much just living in a constant state of defeated acceptance.
                            Last edited by orangejello; 3 Sep 2008, 1:05 PM.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              All I can say is"wuv ya girlie"



                              Originally posted by orangejello
                              I'll answer the poll questions since they are things I have been thinking a lot about lately
                              has it helped you?

                              I wrote about this in the "perks of disability" thread. While I would never say the injury itself was a positive thing or that it helped me in any way at all, I do seem to need to find and hold onto whatever rare positives have come out of it. Otherwise I would not get through this. The positives are admittedly few and far in between. But they include a few dear friends I have made here are care cure and from rehab. I also do think that it has made me a kinder, more patient person, who is much more aware of the suffering of others. It has brought me closer to my family, taught me what love and committment really means.



                              has it ruined your life?
                              Absolutely yes. It has completely ruined my life and has taken away all my hopes and dreams for the future. Everything I was working toward, everything I hoped to be and do with my life, was taken away in a few seconds. I can't get over this and I don't think I ever will.

                              did it save your life?
                              No. My life didn't need saving when this happened. I was very content with my life and had great hopes for the future. In truth, I more often than not wish I hadn't survived that day at all. But I can fully respect when people say their own injuries saved their lives because they were heading down a destructive path.


                              are you just ok with it and keeping on?

                              Honestly no I am not "just okay" with it.

                              I have good and bad days. Far more bad days than good it seems. On the bad days I think "enough is enough" and I often feel no desire or strength to keep dealing with this. That the bad days seem to be increasing lately worries me in some ways. Makes me more indifferent to life in general in other ways. On the good days, which I thankfully do still have on occasion, my thinking goes more along the lines of this: I am not okay with things but this is how they are. So I have to move forward because I have no choice.

                              I can remember there was a time during my first year hurt that I would lay in my bed every day and cry and think "why can't I just wish this all away?" That thought still enters my mind from time to time. But mostly now it has been replaced with "what the f**k did I do to ever deserve this?"

                              I think rather than being "ok" with the injury, I am pretty much just living in a constant state of defeated acceptance.

                              Comment

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