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how many really think they deserved this injury or benefitted by it?

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    #16
    it has ruined my life , i'm sick of this crap and somebody needs to get their ass in gear and fix this crap.
    oh well

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      #17
      Originally posted by Seenkid101
      ...but i also feel like life is like the Movie Final Destination..if i were to have not gotten on that four wheeler i feel as though something else would have happened to me. It could have been that if i didn't wreck that night maybe on my way home with my girlfriend we could have gotten in a car wreck and both died. ..
      I always had that exact feeling. My bff's husband died of a heart attack the night of my sci. The only reason I wasn't with her is that he seemed to be getting better, I had company, I called her, she said 'No, all is well, go, have fun. I'm OK. They're moving Gary out of ICU tomorrow."

      We were SO careful that night. Stayed downtown to eliminate any drinking and driving. Wound up scarcely drinking at all. Only went out in a group of 3, for safety in rough'n'tumble downtown Houston. Only wore silver jewelry, carried very little cash, b/c there are fates down there you don't want to tempt by wearing diamonds and gold. We were practically sedate that night.

      Then I fell in a fountain.

      When I broke my neck, I thought "If I'd been at the hospital with Gina, I think I'd have been run over by an ambulance while out smoking in front of the ER."

      Not that there is "some reason this happened", or "God has a plan". More like "Shit happens, and my name came up."
      Blog:
      Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

      Comment


        #18
        Originally posted by Juke_spin
        Jen, many if not most of us here are in that same boat: somebody else did this to us. My own experience - and it took me most of the decades I've lived post to come to it - is that the sooner we can move past the blaming phase of this mess the better will be our outlook and prospects for a worthwhile future. And, again, welcome to the CC community.
        This is pretty good advice Juke gave you. I've been working on getting past not blaming someone for my SCI (see answer to Bethany for that) but for killing my little sister when I was a week shy of 13 and she was 10. He was an off duty fireman and should have known so well what happens when you drive drunk. He got off scott free because the paramedics from his station responded. After sending the neighbor girl off to weeks in the hospital and years of differing therapies; they plugged a banana bag into him. A fireman checking for gas leaks inside the garage under the cars found my sister. She died 3 hours later never regaining consciousness. After dealing with my sister they took their time at the scene before taking the drunk in for a blood test. The hospital was still busy working on the girl next door so more delay for the test. He was under the 0.10 DUI cut off when they finally drew blood.

        About a year ago I finally asked my bff to look up the newspapers from that time. I couldn't handle finding them back when it happened and Dad or our neighbor's Dad had the newspaper boy send them over to another neighbor's. My brothers found them but I couldn't bring myself to read them. Anyway, she couldn't believe this guy got off with no broken anything and a dozen witnesses who saw him weaving at 50 mph down a suburban street posted at 25.

        Anyway, I called my Dad and told him I was thinking of writing this guy a letter. "Why?" Because I don't want him dying thinking he got away with this. I want him to know when he dies that someone remembers and I don't want him to die easy. "Sue, leave it be. It will eat you alive. Let it go." My Dad is rarely wrong. And I think he's right again. It sure as hell isn't easy though. And to have a sister now to help deal with this SCI stuff would be nice. Not physically help but emotional support, you know.

        Jen, I'm 49 now. It will eat you alive. Sue and get a decent settlement if you can but let the blame go. You don't have to forgive whoever it was; but, you have to look forward. Concentrate on that as much as possible.
        Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

        Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

        Comment


          #19
          I think it did something to change my life.

          I have a story that goes with it, but will not share it on line. It is something I will tell directly to people.

          Am I happy about it? Not with the bs that comes with it.
          but I am willing to accept it and live the best I may.
          Rick Brauer or just call me - Mr B

          http://www.riseadventures.org

          Comment


            #20
            Originally posted by betheny
            I always had that exact feeling. My bff's husband died of a heart attack the night of my sci. The only reason I wasn't with her is that he seemed to be getting better, I had company, I called her, she said 'No, all is well, go, have fun. I'm OK. They're moving Gary out of ICU tomorrow."
            .......

            Then I fell in a fountain.

            When I broke my neck, I thought "If I'd been at the hospital with Gina, I think I'd have been run over by an ambulance while out smoking in front of the ER."

            Not that there is "some reason this happened", or "God has a plan". More like "Shit happens, and my name came up."
            A fountain!?! That still tickles my 'not so funny' bone. I still can't believe someone like Beth could be done in by a fountain. Well, I know this was not "God has a plan". You have to believe in some huge puppeter in the sky to go there. "Some reason this happened"? To wipe my family line off the Earth, maybe? I mean first my sister; then my older brother hit a piece of black ice; and my little brother hit by leukemia. So knock me out because I was planning on that family thing right then? Wouldn't a nice simple inhospitable uterus be simpler than plotting a spinal stroke? Or to piss me off with the frustration of it all that I'd get into the cure advocacy side of this? I was close to finishing my poli sci degree when this hit so getting there might have happened anyway.

            "Shit happens"? Hmmm. At what point does coincidence become a lightening bolt looming over your head waiting to strike You? Not him or her but Sue. If the spinal infarct happened the Monday before or the Monday after I would have already dropped the spousal unit at work and been home reading the Stars and Stripes and drinking coffee. When the pain hit I probably would have done the same thing I did beside that county road on Memorial Day Monday. Shake out the arms, bend over and shake the hands. When the pain stopped and my hands felt numb I would have curled up with my pup on the sofa for a nap. By the time I woke up because breathing was hard I wouldn't have been able to move and died. But it was an American holiday in Germany so two cars of us were together. "Shit happens"?

            Too much coincidice for me Beth. Should be for you too I suppose. I figure I was Ivan the Terrible in a past life. I'm hoping this life straightens all the bad karma out. I'm hoping the next time around I come back as a basically nice person with a basic boring life in a small town someplace that has indoor plumbing and solid floors.

            Deserve this injury Cass? I was no saint but nothing to deserve this either. Not in this life anyway. Benefitted by a non-traumatic SCI? It all evens out I guess so I'd say NO. Pretty much ruined my plans and even my back up plans for my life.
            Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

            Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

            Comment


              #21
              I did not deserve this injury nor did anybody do it to me. Mine was from a tumor growing inside my Spinal Cord. Do I get pissed? Sometimes yes, but I realize that we all lose something everyday. This just happens to be alot in one day.

              I chose to live on in the pain of SCI but really what else is there except to adapt and make the most out of life. No one said Life was Fair!

              Comment


                #22
                Originally posted by Sue Pendleton
                This is pretty good advice Juke gave you. I've been working on getting past not blaming someone for my SCI (see answer to Bethany for that) but for killing my little sister when I was a week shy of 13 and she was 10. He was an off duty fireman and should have known so well what happens when you drive drunk. He got off scott free because the paramedics from his station responded. After sending the neighbor girl off to weeks in the hospital and years of differing therapies; they plugged a banana bag into him. A fireman checking for gas leaks inside the garage under the cars found my sister. She died 3 hours later never regaining consciousness. After dealing with my sister they took their time at the scene before taking the drunk in for a blood test. The hospital was still busy working on the girl next door so more delay for the test. He was under the 0.10 DUI cut off when they finally drew blood.

                About a year ago I finally asked my bff to look up the newspapers from that time. I couldn't handle finding them back when it happened and Dad or our neighbor's Dad had the newspaper boy send them over to another neighbor's. My brothers found them but I couldn't bring myself to read them. Anyway, she couldn't believe this guy got off with no broken anything and a dozen witnesses who saw him weaving at 50 mph down a suburban street posted at 25.

                Anyway, I called my Dad and told him I was thinking of writing this guy a letter. "Why?" Because I don't want him dying thinking he got away with this. I want him to know when he dies that someone remembers and I don't want him to die easy. "Sue, leave it be. It will eat you alive. Let it go." My Dad is rarely wrong. And I think he's right again. It sure as hell isn't easy though. And to have a sister now to help deal with this SCI stuff would be nice. Not physically help but emotional support, you know.

                Jen, I'm 49 now. It will eat you alive. Sue and get a decent settlement if you can but let the blame go. You don't have to forgive whoever it was; but, you have to look forward. Concentrate on that as much as possible.
                You both are right. But it's been only 8 months since the accident and every morning when I wake up and I realize that it was not a nightmare, I can't help but to feel angry. At the same time, I am tired of feeling like this, and I want to start enjoying "my new life" because I am not dead, I am alive, and there many things I still can do, and many things I can learn. -

                Comment


                  #23
                  This blows.....I have no enjoyment in it, and cant think of how it has made my life "better"...there werent nothing wrong with my other life.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    I finally click this thread to answer it, only to discover that OJ has already answered for me. Argh!

                    Specifically, the "benefits" are few and far between, but I try to take the good and let the bad slide off me like water to a duck's back.

                    My life would have been a lot more fun (and probably risky) if the injury never occurred. I would take my old life back in an instant if I could.
                    ...it's worse than we thought. it turns out the people at the white house are not secret muslims, they're nerds.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Spinal cord injuries should be against the law. It is a hellish way to live. No one deserves this.

                      Comment


                        #26
                        how many really think they deserved this injury or benefitted by it?


                        None of us deserve this.

                        Satan is a thief. He did this to us. Some of us helped him.
                        Played right into his plans. God gave us a perfect body to enjoy life to it's fullest. But every chance the devil gets he will ruin lives.
                        I'm not better off because this isn't in God's plan. But I'm stronger and have better control of my future. The devil won't steal any more of my joy.


                        sigpic

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                          #27
                          Originally posted by Tiger Racing
                          No and no.

                          I believe strongly in Chance. Sometimes, shit just happens. What is important is how you deal with it. Not that succumbing to pain and a lack of purpose and independence is something I would condemn anyone for. Even that can be handled with grace.

                          C.
                          I'm too tired to bash out an original answer, so I'll plagiarize Carol's which sums up my thoughts well but with fewer four letter words.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            The only damn good thing to come out of this is that I was able to force the Pittsburgh V.A. system into supplying cable TV to all the beds in all the facilities. I raised $20,000.00 and then they had to do something. Still took a year and a half of constant aggravation. Had two articles in the paper which made all the difference.
                            When I arrived there we only had 6 channels.
                            No one even ever said thank you.

                            I am just Lucky that my injury happened when I was 49 and most of my life was over.
                            I have worked and traveled all over the country as a public servant in the parks and forests of North America.

                            Still I think every day, what more could I have accomplished.
                            C 5/6 Comp.
                            No Tri's or hand function.

                            Far better it is to try mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure. Than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much or suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows neither victory or defeat.

                            Teddy Roosevelt

                            Comment


                              #29
                              I voted the last choice, but ok is a little too positive.

                              I don't think it happened for a reason, although I sometimes do wonder what would have happened if we went to the park to sled instead of staying in the backyard. Perhaps the choice to stay home, prevented something worse. But I have trouble thinking that God had a reason for this. (My mother found out much later that my uncle (her brother) who is very involved with the religious community, and works for a missionary organization said this to me in the hospital. I guess he was very lucky that she didn;t know at the time. I have seldom seen her so angry.)

                              Did it help me? Well there are a few positive things, mostly related to my relationships with my family.

                              Ruined my life? Again too strong. It sure messed it up though. I think the fact that I was 48 at the time, and I had lived a good chunck of my life already may help here. (Although, I don;t think most of it is over yet ForestRanger!)

                              And it certainly didn;t save it. (At least that I know of, see above).

                              I guess what would really fit is that I am accepting this, and moving on.
                              OJ had the right term.
                              T7-8 since Feb 2005

                              Comment


                                #30
                                I think I could deal with my injury better if I could remember how it happened. Don't know if it was a result of tripping over something when I fell or if I was just walking along and forgot about the opening of the steel tank I was working on.

                                The only benefit was that my injury happened at work and that my comp insurance hasn't let me down on getting anything I need for equipment or medical supplies.
                                If I was meant to have wheels under my ass, what the hell are these legs for?
                                http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1455040496

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