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    #61
    Originally posted by Ashley
    my favorite in the "I know how you feel" category is when they broke their leg and were in a wheelchair for 1 month. If they only really knew how much more there is to it! I understand that they're just trying to sympathize but i still find it comical I want to say, "Really? you stick your finger up your butt to poop?? ME TOO!"
    ditto. i'm constantly getting the "i know how you feel....i once broke my leg....i have a friend of a friend who.....i have a cousin who......" etc. i just nod and murmur, uh huh. makes em feel good.

    the point here is why are we fair game for these rude questions? it's not about what ab's have been through. WHY is it ok to ask a person in a chair personal questions? WHY? and i'm not talking children. i'm talking adults.

    as far as being unwilling emissaries, try that with the next person of color you run across....ummm, hey what's it like to be the only person of color (substitute gender, religion, whatever) in the room? oh yeah, i know how you feel....my sister's husband twice removed, ha ha, was....).

    yeah, it's annoying as hell. i've been prayed over, screamed at to walk, had ppl run to a door i already have open and cause a big scene when i fall....i actually appreciated it when a guy let the restaurant door slam in my face the other night. at least i felt i was being treated equally
    Last edited by cass; 24 Jul 2008, 1:44 AM.

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      #62
      Originally posted by cass
      i'm constantly getting the "i know how you feel....i once broke my leg....i have a friend of a friend who.....i have a cousin who......" etc. i just nod and murmur, uh huh. makes em feel good.
      I just don't get being pissed off at people who are only trying to sympathize. It's a helluva lot better than having someone take a quick look at my situation and proclaim that they can't imagine how I do it, that they would kill themselves in my situation.

      the point here is why are we fair game for these rude questions?
      I think the point is that some people look for things to be pissed off about.

      WHY is it ok to ask a person in a chair personal questions?
      So you would never ever ask someone about a cast on their arm or about their crutches or a dent in their car? What about before you were disabled?

      C.

      Comment


        #63
        I would not ask a stranger about a cast on their arm., or a dent in their car. I was taught to not ask personal questions of strangers.

        The same randoms that ask the questions at Wal-Mart don't start off talking about the weather or the price of milk, or where you got your shoes or who cut your hair, or any of those things that strangers DO talk about. They aren't interested in talking to you. They are interested in satisfying their curiosity about you.

        It doesn't infuriate me, but I don't like it much. Maybe I should just ask the next one how much her wedding ring cost, or if she went to church on Sunday, or if she likes her mother.

        Kids are absolutely an exception. Kids are curious about everything.

        This is a common complaint among pregnant women also. They have an obvious condition, and somehow they become public property.
        Blog:
        Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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          #64
          well, frankly, tiger no i wouldn't ask about a cast. i'm thinking more...like i would stop a complete stranger with a cast and ask, hey, what happened to you? why? i wouldn't even think of such a thing.

          a dent in their car?? uh, hey, i noticed a dent in your car, complete stranger...how'd it happen? WHY would i do that? unless i noticed a similar one in mine next to stranger's....

          and before i was dis i worked with and lived with dis. my mom was a social worker. i worked summers with the MR. we were kicked out of restaurants because the ppl i had with me were "making ppl sick." i did the rec prog in summers. i was called "bitch" at the iowa state fair several times by workers there as i had to keep the MR ppl from falling for the tricks fair ppl do. what about you? and yes, drove a bus with w/c lift before ADA. that was a lotta fun, too.

          btw, i don't care for sympathy.
          Last edited by cass; 24 Jul 2008, 3:07 AM.

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            #65
            Very well said Betheny. They dont give a darn about the person in the w/c I've found, all they want is to satisfy their curosity, they start wondering what happened to that poor person in the w/c and just have to ask. They will never get a straight answer out of me anyhow, so they might as well have not asked

            Originally posted by betheny
            I would not ask a stranger about a cast on their arm., or a dent in their car. I was taught to not ask personal questions of strangers.

            The same randoms that ask the questions at Wal-Mart don't start off talking about the weather or the price of milk, or where you got your shoes or who cut your hair, or any of those things that strangers DO talk about. They aren't interested in talking to you. They are interested in satisfying their curiosity about you.

            It doesn't infuriate me, but I don't like it much. Maybe I should just ask the next one how much her wedding ring cost, or if she went to church on Sunday, or if she likes her mother.

            Kids are absolutely an exception. Kids are curious about everything.

            This is a common complaint among pregnant women also. They have an obvious condition, and somehow they become public property.
            "Life is about how you
            respond to not only the
            challenges you're dealt but
            the challenges you seek...If
            you have no goals, no
            mountains to climb, your
            soul dies".~Liz Fordred

            Comment


              #66
              ha i make ppl cry when they ask, so they don't ask no more .. they run away from me hi hi hi..
              http://www.facebook.com/ivicamaotze.rod

              Comment


                #67
                I don't mind answering what happened to me, though I never get askeed now that I'm back in my hometown. I do mind being prayed over, touched or pitied.
                Emily, C-8 sensory incomplete mom to a 8 year old and a preschooler. TEN! years post.

                Comment


                  #68
                  Originally posted by SCI-Nurse
                  So has anyone asked you two out of the blue if he can have sex? Happens to my clients all the time. The ultimate rude question.

                  (KLD)
                  I have gotten that question...especially considering my fiance and I are both in chairs with spinal cord issues. My typical response is that some things are just better left to the imagination. I will not go into my private sexual life with random strangers...let alone people I know. I find it rude and intruding.

                  I do not mind people asking me what happened. I tell them that I have a progressive spinal cord and brain disease. That usually satisfies their curiosity. On occasion I get asked if I will ever get better with the answer being no. I have not had someone pray over me...but I think I would just break out in hysterics if someone did.
                  "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing's going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss

                  Comment


                    #69
                    I had a dude throw holly water at me once I kept hoping it would work, but nada.
                    Last edited by Curt Leatherbee; 24 Jul 2008, 7:15 PM.
                    "Life is about how you
                    respond to not only the
                    challenges you're dealt but
                    the challenges you seek...If
                    you have no goals, no
                    mountains to climb, your
                    soul dies".~Liz Fordred

                    Comment


                      #70
                      Originally posted by Curt Leatherbee
                      Very well said Betheny. They dont give a darn about the person in the w/c I've found, all they want is to satisfy their curosity, they start wondering what happened to that poor person in the w/c and just have to ask. They will never get a straight answer out of me anyhow, so they might as well have not asked
                      Sadly, annoyingly and ironically, they're not even interested in that. They're interested in satisfying their curiosity about what happened to this freak back when they were a 'real person', before they were turned into this curiosity, that turned them into something the only real purpose of which is to satisfy my curiosity about it.
                      "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
                      J.B.S.Haldane

                      Comment


                        #71
                        That’s a typical question: “what happened to you” “how old were you”… “can you have sex?” “Who takes care of you”…

                        One time, an old lady in the building I used to live, ask me what happened to me, then she as if I could have children, and when I said yes, she started screaming at me: “how dare you! Who’s going to take care of them! Doesn’t your mother have enough with you!”… people are definitely amusing,

                        I had one person tell me that my arms were attached backwards (because my hands are facing up).

                        When I went to Canada for rehab, I was part of a group called “party program”. We used to go to schools, and teach kids about our injuries, and how it could happen to them if they were not careful, if they drink and drive, etc.

                        When I get asked, I look at it as an opportunity to raise public awareness… teach somebody about SCI and they will spread the word. Even if it is just to tell their experience of the day.
                        Thoughts become things, choose the good ones!

                        Comment


                          #72
                          Originally posted by Tiger Racing
                          I just don't get being pissed off at people who are only trying to sympathize. It's a helluva lot better than having someone take a quick look at my situation and proclaim that they can't imagine how I do it, that they would kill themselves in my situation.
                          I actually prefer the latter, then they at least acknowledge how awful it is. Complaining about using a wheelchair because you broke your leg makes me smile, but stick pins in a voodoo doll in my mind.

                          Comment


                            #73
                            Originally posted by Polett
                            When I went to Canada for rehab, I was part of a group called “party program”. We used to go to schools, and teach kids about our injuries, and how it could happen to them if they were not careful, if they drink and drive, etc.

                            .

                            That's called our 'don't party' program. We scare the bejesus out of the kids at an early age so they don't turn out like us.

                            Comment


                              #74
                              Originally posted by Van Quad
                              That's called our 'don't party' program. We scare the bejesus out of the kids at an early age so they don't turn out like us.
                              I think that kind of thing is great. If kids ask what happened to me, I explain it to them in such a way that will hopefully make them think twice about doing crazy stuff. Adults should know better all ready and dont need that kind of explaination in my opinion.
                              "Life is about how you
                              respond to not only the
                              challenges you're dealt but
                              the challenges you seek...If
                              you have no goals, no
                              mountains to climb, your
                              soul dies".~Liz Fordred

                              Comment


                                #75
                                I used to just tell people the truth, but from now on I'm using the "I was anally probed by aliens" story.

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