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What color floors? On opposite sides with my fiancee. Advice?

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    What color floors? On opposite sides with my fiancee. Advice?

    Getting to the stage I need to select an interior floor color for hardwood/vinyl planking for my house.... and butting heads with my fiancees preferences...

    She think it should be a driftwood grey type look because that's an in look and neutral... and she thinks light natural wood color is dated and out of style... I see it more as classic, timeless... but more to the point the grey flooring is real dull, flat, lifeless and completely lack any feeling of 'warmth' to me. It's a very 'cool' look.

    I like:
    http://raleigh.floorcoveringsinterna...54608887-1.jpg

    vs

    She likes:
    http://cdn.home-designing.com/wp-con...e-flooring.jpg

    (Give or take)

    I'm so frustrated and conflicted.... I know she doesn't really feel like the house is 'hers' but 'mine' (that she inherited because I had started planning it with my past ex gf before her, even though I explained the house was mainly driven by my wants/needs around the wheelchair... so she look at it as 'mine' but that I'm trying to mold it to what she wants too). So I'm trying to concede design elements like I re-org'd the kitchen/half bathroom and laundry room to her pref.... I've told her you pick the furniture.... and I'm trying to find a compromise on colors... but we really seem to not like the same thing and kinda dislike the others like fairly strongly.

    I don't want to say "I'm paying to bill so I override you" but I'm not a fan of that flat cool look... I like warm feeling brighter light wood. Our contractor is siding with her pref... my Mom who I've always consulted on design/color choices sees it my way.... so that ain't helping....... so frustrated & conflicted.......


    Suggestions on what to do?
    Any personal opinions on what looks best between those choices? (and your rational)

    #2
    Hate to tell you this, but your problems are just getting started.
    I have had periodic paralysis all my life. I lost my ability to walk in 2011 beginning with a spinal block, which was used for a hip fracture caused by periodic paralysis.

    Comment


      #3
      Those kinds of decisions can cause a lot of arguments, for sure. I guess you could do some rooms with her choice, and some with yours - though that would interrupt the continuity and flow of the floorplan. Or you could explain to her that because you're in a chair and your field of vision is typically focused lower than hers, you want to look at something that pleases you (which is why you chose the natural wood color to begin with).

      Visually, I like your flooring choice the best because of its warmth and beauty - I agree with you that a natural wood look is classic and timeless. It also accommodates any other colors in the room. To me, the driftwood color is actually depressing.
      MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by nonoise View Post
        Hate to tell you this, but your problems are just getting started.
        Had to laugh at this! My husband and I have several friends who've designed houses with their significant others, and these kinds of decisions cause more heated arguments than almost anything else.
        MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

        Comment


          #5
          IMO, any color but a rug.
          I have had periodic paralysis all my life. I lost my ability to walk in 2011 beginning with a spinal block, which was used for a hip fracture caused by periodic paralysis.

          Comment


            #6
            Personally, NL and I like the light natural wood and have it in our home. Most of our furniture and accessories are mid century modern in warm earth tones and it works for us. That said, the gray wood look is quite attractive with the gray tone colored furniture and other features in the room in the picture you posted.

            If the furniture and other accessories your girl friend selects carry out the gray and white neutrals, the gray wood look is stunning. You can add warmth with pops of the right earth tones in pillows, wall hangings and pictures or perhaps an upholstery pattern on a chair.

            There are probably a number of other gray wood flooring choices that may not look as flat or feel as cold to you. Have you looked at other color choices, possibly one that you both might like without satisfying either extremes in your tastes? That is compromise.

            Comment


              #7
              "Happy wife, happy life."

              If I can roll on it and it's not hideous it's OK with me.

              Comment


                #8
                I do have driftwood, grays with bright grays with dark grays and whites. Looks good, there are dozens of driftwood color combinations, find one you both can live with.
                c6/7 incomplete 6/30/07

                whats that smell? its me, cause im the shit.


                если я сейчас умру то нахуй я родился

                Comment


                  #9
                  Best bang for your buck.

                  You stated several things:

                  Your girlfriend (Usually refers to dating a person)/fiance' (Usually refers to being engaged and getting married) in your thread.

                  Fiance' will inherit the property when you die. You are alive now.

                  The house a was built around your wheelchair accessibility need which makes common sense.

                  In my honest opinion I would not change anything that is accessible for your needs to accommodate her.

                  If you are the owner of the property you have all the decisions to make to any changes or modifications no matter what she says. When you get married. That's a different story. You have to compromise.

                  Now to the flooring issue. I've been down that route. I don't know if your contractor gave a dollar limit per square feet for me when I was building my new home we were given $3.50 per square foot of any type of flooring. I went for the best bang for the buck. Carpet was out as with vinyl flooring. I was not so hot about wood flooring because you buy cheap wood flooring it is only a veneer and not the original 3/4 inch oak flooring which is tongue and grooved.

                  Natural oak flooring never goes out of style. It should be honey color in appearance. Over time it will scratch up as I learned from experience but it beautiful. You cannot use water to clean it otherwise you'll cause the edges to warp upwards.

                  You being the sole home owner it is your choice not hers. She has to live with it since it is your home until marriage. I would accommodate her when you two are married.

                  Be careful on floating wood floors. Before I built my home I look at accessible homes and condos. One condo had a floating floor from Pergo and the house was very humid and the floor was buckling upwards which was not a good selling point.

                  For me, with a $3.50 per square foot limit I found 18 x 18 x 1/2 inch black granite at $3.49 per square foot. I went with it but they only had 500 pieces. They had a sale going on at the time and I was able to 12 x 12 x 3/8 inch crystal granite for .99 cents per square foot which filled the second bedroom and guest bedroom. I needed an additional 432 square feet more 18 x 18 granite for the breezeway which is 18 feet x 24 feet. I paid $3.89 per square foot. There is a photo of my house under construction in my photo album. One main element I wanted was that a person in a wheelchair didn't lived there but I got something else instead in return which I didn't expect.

                  I found these deals at stone tile depot:

                  https://www.stonetiledepot.com

                  You can not beat a granite floor over tile, carpet, wood or recycled type flooring. I'll post pictures of my flooring tomorrow when I am at my other computer.

                  I saw this picture of an oak floor this evening which reminded me of this thread. Natural oak flooring never goes out of style and is acceptable in the past, present and future. Modern homes today use solid oak flooring to give that natural look and feeling.

                  Ti
                  Attached Files
                  Last edited by titanium4motion; 9 May 2019, 11:03 PM.
                  "We must overcome difficulties rather than being overcome by difficulties."

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Just another thought... How long do you expect to keep this lady as a ***fianc??? Maybe what she needs is more validation in your relationship with her than you had with your former girlfriend.

                    Is she a keeper, the one, or is she just another girl friend???

                    Maybe you are dealing with a power struggle that you are oblivious to...and that is how your current girl friend/***fianc?? feels about her place in your life vis a vie your former girl friend. You know as guys we sometimes don't get what our ladies feel and need. Maybe solving the where do I really stand in your life problem would solve many other issue and insecurities and make the minor issues of finishings and furniture choices easier.

                    Sometimes there are a lot of dynamics going on that we guys are just too dumb to get. Take it from a guy who is celebrating, this month, his 50th wedding anniversary with the most wonderful lady on this earth.

                    ***this vBulletin software doesn't seem to recognize accented characters so excuse the fianc? or whatever vBulletin makes it.
                    Last edited by gjnl; 10 May 2019, 12:07 AM.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I went through the same thing. We aren't together anymore. I doubt we would be together today if I had agreed to the colors she wanted. We would still be split up and I would have a house I didn't like.

                      My point is your compromise should be in line with your commitment to her. Accepting to live with what you don't like is a bad spot to find yourself. But if you do find yourself in this spot, she better be THE ONE, not one that is here today and gone tomorrow.

                      Deeper question, does the cigar have a subconscious meaning or is the cigar just a cigar?
                      Last edited by August West; 10 May 2019, 2:33 AM.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        You can always tell a long time married man. As Ches says, happy wife, happy life. You have to choose your battles. Like Ches, I don't care much. My wife shows me what she wants to do. If I ask about changes she usually explains why i'm wrong or if it's a good idea, she'll incorporate it.

                        It'll either break you up or cement you as a couple depending on open communication. Trustfully she'll be here much longer than me so I want her to be comfortable and enjoy the home we created together. I know that roll in shower is going to be a goner.


                        Ti. You posted in bold letters, Best bang for the buck, I looked down and saw the photo of the young lady. I thought man that was uncalled for until I read your post lol.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Lots of replies, lots of good points on both sides. To answer one Q, yes my fiancee is the long term one & I go to great lengths to spoil her royally and give her what she wants when it's something really not a big deal to me if we differ in opinions. Here's my problem... northwestern Ontario has long winters, I'm stuck inside 6 months of the year... I fight the winter blues/depression cause of it. I designed this house to be big, open, bright with a load of windows and warm feeling to be emotionally uplifting thru the long winters.

                          I get that those greys are 'in' and they've been 'in' the last decade... but to me that means that trend will turn in the next 5 years. Classic wood looks are ageless and carry the decades as trends come and go. A base grey is flat, dull, cold... emotionally a bummer to me. I just can't get my head around living with that the next 40 years. I've spend 2 weeks comparing pics and my gut reaction every time is I heavily prefer the light wood and can't see going grey.

                          But I think my girl doesn't get my vision of warm but modern. She thinks I want everything old school stain wood like where I am now, baseboards, accents, fixtures, etc. See the pics I attached for my warm but modern. You can do a light floor in a warm tone and white molding/baseboards, darks like browns, chocolates, modern white/grey/silvers on cabinets, furniture, fixtures, pillows, painting bedroom walls, etc etc. I'm more than cool with letting her have her way with all that if I get the warm light floor because I like all those things IF they are set on a 'warm' base.

                          I download the attached pics plus another dozen others that are similar to show her all the colours she likes on that warm floor hopefully to achieve that compromise. Concede the floor I want and you can have almost carte blanche decision making on all other decorating decisions.

                          I think that's a pretty generous compromise considering I'm paying 100% of the house build. (She's pitching in on all the daily expenses once built)
                          Attached Files

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by titanium4motion View Post
                            You stated several things:

                            Your girlfriend (Usually refers to dating a person)/fiance' (Usually refers to being engaged and getting married) in your thread.

                            Fiance' will inherit the property when you die. You are alive now.

                            The house a was built around your wheelchair accessibility need which makes common sense.

                            In my honest opinion I would not change anything that is accessible for your needs to accommodate her.

                            If you are the owner of the property you have all the decisions to make to any changes or modifications no matter what she says. When you get married. That's a different story. You have to compromise.

                            Now to the flooring issue. I've been down that route. I don't know if your contractor gave a dollar limit per square feet for me when I was building my new home we were given $3.50 per square foot of any type of flooring. I went for the best bang for the buck. Carpet was out as with vinyl flooring. I was not so hot about wood flooring because you buy cheap wood flooring it is only a veneer and not the original 3/4 inch oak flooring which is tongue and grooved.

                            Natural oak flooring never goes out of style. It should be honey color in appearance. Over time it will scratch up as I learned from experience but it beautiful. You cannot use water to clean it otherwise you'll cause the edges to warp upwards.

                            You being the sole home owner it is your choice not hers. She has to live with it since it is your home until marriage. I would accommodate her when you two are married.

                            Be careful on floating wood floors. Before I built my home I look at accessible homes and condos. One condo had a floating floor from Pergo and the house was very humid and the floor was buckling upwards which was not a good selling point.

                            For me, with a $3.50 per square foot limit I found 18 x 18 x 1/2 inch black granite at $3.49 per square foot. I went with it but they only had 500 pieces. They had a sale going on at the time and I was able to 12 x 12 x 3/8 inch crystal granite for .99 cents per square foot which filled the second bedroom and guest bedroom. I needed an additional 432 square feet more 18 x 18 granite for the breezeway which is 18 feet x 24 feet. I paid $3.89 per square foot. There is a photo of my house under construction in my photo album. One main element I wanted was that a person in a wheelchair didn't lived there but I got something else instead in return which I didn't expect.

                            I found these deals at stone tile depot:

                            https://www.stonetiledepot.com

                            You can not beat a granite floor over tile, carpet, wood or recycled type flooring. I'll post pictures of my flooring tomorrow when I am at my other computer.

                            I saw this picture of an oak floor this evening which reminded me of this thread. Natural oak flooring never goes out of style and is acceptable in the past, present and future. Modern homes today use solid oak flooring to give that natural look and feeling.

                            Ti
                            Never thought of granite floors.....wonder what local prices up here are..... surely more than what you got it at......... pretty look

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I'm with you on colors for flooring, and for most of the same reasons. I look at them a lot. Be aware that maple flooring, which appears to be in your first photo, darkens over time with exposure to light. , leaving light spaces when you move furniture.

                              This seems a perfect opportunity to schedule a session with a counselor and talk about how you approach conflict resolution. It will offer an opportunity to share backstory of why each of you feels the way you do. Feeling heard is very important in relationship, but it is also important not to give up things that are very important to us, individually. i think this is one of those cases where if you went with grey flooring your resentment would fester over time, waiting to glue itself to new offenses. You know how that goes in relationships.

                              My partner and I often differ on home questions. it is difficult. We have waited 10 years to replace the cutlery because we could not agree. He wants something new because his old stuff dates to his first marriage. To me it's just knives and forks, you know? But he likes heavy designs that are difficult for me to handle given my small quad hands. Does he remember and sympathize with that? Apparently not. So one lesson here is, do I want to endure live with a guy who is quite self-absorbed forever? Apparently yes. He has good points.

                              We finally chanced upon some cutlery that suits both of us and while it is pricy we will buy it for our anniversary. Flooring? We made the decisions together but it turns out both of the choices present problems, so life is never perfect. When it came time to floor "his" room he just told me his requirements (tile, glassy) and I picked it out. You see, he was much to busy with "important things" to accompany me to the tile store. It is usually up to me to see things get done. Disadvantage? I feel alone with it all. Advantage? I get the power.

                              Negotiating everyday living while leaving plenty of neutral emotional "space" is key to allowing affection and good conversation, which are my reasons for being in relationship. I spend a lot of time at home, even if I am independent. When he retired in 2016 and suddenly was home a lot it about killed the relationship. We have had to figure out strategies that allow each of us to truly accept the other.

                              Take advantage of this as an opportunity to create a "learning moment" by taking this into a counseling session.

                              Of course finding a good counselor is not always easy but once you have, they are available for years to come. It is just a 3rd party with no skin in the game.

                              Comment

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