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What color floors? On opposite sides with my fiancee. Advice?

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  • #16
    These are some pictures of a recent house we designed in CT.
    Attached Files

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    • #17
      My wife and I installed oak tongue and groove, and slate tile, shortly after my injury. The light color definitely feels more cozy, but it sure has been run ragged by me rolling over it for the past 13 years. My "main drags" are so worn it's down to bare wood in spots, and turning grey! Time for a big refinishing job already! Ugh.
      "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

      "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

      "Even what those with the greatest reputation for knowing it all claim to understand and defend are but opinions..." -Heraclitus, Fragments

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Junkyarddog View Post
        These are some pictures of a recent house we designed in CT.
        Some really beautiful design choices in those pics

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Tetracyclone View Post
          Take advantage of this as an opportunity to create a "learning moment" by taking this into a counseling session.

          Of course finding a good counselor is not always easy but once you have, they are available for years to come. It is just a 3rd party with no skin in the game.
          We are pretty good at discussing things, being open & honest even when it's not what the other wants to hear.... both of us have been thru a lot together and before we met. If I can't get there on grey, and give her the 'I choose light wood floors and you can decorate everything else" and tell her my reasoning/psychological needs of a warm environment I think she'll understand even if it's initially a bit begrudgingly. I need to be a little selfish on some things I need.

          A close friend of mine, a nurse from my rehab days told me, you've been sacrificing and saving for YOUR house for 20 years.... your fiancee, like all your other friends, were spending their $ on their wants/desires/priorities over that time (like my fiancee traveled extensively more places than I can count multiple times) so why shouldn't you get what you want when you've been sacrificing and going without? That kinda hit home with me...

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          • #20
            War room.

            This was my "war room" in my old house. I sanded it with 60 grit sandpaper with a pad sander and gave it 3 coats of satin polyurethane. Floor area is 12 feet x 14 feet. Half it was my study/work/computer telecommute station and the other side was model building side. I had upper kitchen cabinets install on one wall by the door for storage with two "L" shaped counter tops. I re-sanded and polyurethane the floor to get the house ready for sale. I also put up new oak baseboard.

            This is 3/4 inch tongue and groove oak flooring put in 1950 when the house was built. Still looks great after almost 70 years!

            Last picture is wet polyurethane put on with a hand lambswool applicator. Took about 40 minutes to cover the floor with each coat. When dried I sanded it with fine grit sandpaper wiped with tack cloth and re-polyurethane.

            Oak floors look very beautiful in their natural state.

            Ti
            Attached Files
            "We must overcome difficulties rather than being overcome by difficulties."

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            • #21
              Oak floors typically like a re-sanding every few years. Who can afford that?

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              • #22
                Originally posted by rjc View Post
                a close friend of mine, a nurse from my rehab days told me, you've been sacrificing and saving for your house for 20 years.... Your fiancee, like all your other friends, were spending their $ on their wants/desires/priorities over that time (like my fiancee traveled extensively more places than i can count multiple times) so why shouldn't you get what you want when you've been sacrificing and going without? That kinda hit home with me...
                yes to that!

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by titanium4motion View Post

                  This is 3/4 inch tongue and groove oak flooring put in 1950 when the house was built. Still looks great after almost 70 years!

                  Oak floors look very beautiful in their natural state.

                  Ti
                  Beautiful. The last house I worked on, before injury, has gorgeous oak floors but they were 150 years old. Multiple sandings left the floor showing endless nail tops. They were the old square nails and tore up a sander quite nicely. The floor still looked good, though, just a bit weird.

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                  • #24
                    $60

                    Originally posted by Tetracyclone View Post
                    Oak floors typically like a re-sanding every few years. Who can afford that?
                    I did mine by myself with a 4 inch x 4 inch pad sander, 1 gallon of polyurethane, lambswool applicator, sand paper and pair of ear protectors which I already had. A total around $60.

                    Some of these new oak flooring only have 3/16 inch of oak veneer on them and if you get a drum sander you will sand off the oak.

                    Ti
                    "We must overcome difficulties rather than being overcome by difficulties."

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                    • #25
                      Under construction

                      Here's a picture of the house I designed and had built. It was still under construction. It is in a shape of a "H" with the garage on the left and a front and rear courtyard for extra mobility room. One element I didn't want is to have that look that "someone in a wheelchair" lives there but instead I got curb appeal. A lot of people leave notes in my mailbox or come to the house and ask, "Who was your architect?" Or drive by very slowly. I designed it using the ADAAG manual.

                      The City of Oberlin rejected my plans at first because I needed plans certified by an architect. I hired a architect to over look the the prints and he stamped them with his approval. The city accepted them.

                      Ti
                      Attached Files
                      "We must overcome difficulties rather than being overcome by difficulties."

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Well my plan to show my fiance a bunch of modern pics of homes with light natural wood floors and have her see you can have a modern look with the colours she likes and a warm colour failed. She flipped through the pics barely stopping and simply said - no hate them all. Don’t think she saw anything but the floor colour. Every wood in the floor store she looked at was a grey, grey/brown, all dark flat devoid of warmth to me. Even telling her you can decorate everything else prompted - how do we match a kitchen if the next room in an open concept layout has that light wood?

                        So help me rebuke that. If I had a light to medium natural hardwood like the pics I posted in the previous post do you think the adjoining kitchen in an open concept layout could have light off white floors with some pattern and say some shade of a grey cabinet or even a dark chocolate cabinet? I don’t know what exact shades would be best but that should be doable to look good I think... yes/no?

                        (I really don’t want to - I’m paying, you are gonna have to deal with it... I’d rather have a - look at how nice this looks together and have her concede. )

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                        • #27
                          It would never be my money and her choice. If she wants what she wants so badly, she'd better be contributing something other than her wonderful company. I'm just not that "romantic."

                          Don't mean to be rude. Maybe it's out of place. But you know what they say about an ounce of prevention vs a pound of cure.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by RJC View Post
                            Well my plan to show my fiance a bunch of modern pics of homes with light natural wood floors and have her see you can have a modern look with the colours she likes and a warm colour failed. She flipped through the pics barely stopping and simply said - no hate them all. Don’t think she saw anything but the floor colour. Every wood in the floor store she looked at was a grey, grey/brown, all dark flat devoid of warmth to me. Even telling her you can decorate everything else prompted - how do we match a kitchen if the next room in an open concept layout has that light wood?

                            So help me rebuke that. If I had a light to medium natural hardwood like the pics I posted in the previous post do you think the adjoining kitchen in an open concept layout could have light off white floors with some pattern and say some shade of a grey cabinet or even a dark chocolate cabinet? I don’t know what exact shades would be best but that should be doable to look good I think... yes/no?

                            (I really don’t want to - I’m paying, you are gonna have to deal with it... I’d rather have a - look at how nice this looks together and have her concede. )
                            Yikes! You, sir, are in a real dilemma. But IMO, if y'all can't reach an agreement on a relatively minor decision(floor color) then maybe she's just not the right one for you. This is a good test.
                            "It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it. Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value." - Albert Einstein

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                            • #29
                              I'm sorry, RJC, but I'm with your therapist, August West and DeadEye on this. You're offering her 99% of the decision-making, compared to your 1%. If she has hissy fits over a flooring choice, hate to say it, but...hasta la vista.
                              MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

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                              • #30
                                Reality check...if you have to go to the mat with "I'm paying...you are going to have to deal with my choice"... and the two of you can't compromise with each other on another choice that both of you can enjoy and feel comfortable with...bail now. You are just not a match made in heaven...and your life will be a hell on earth from here on out.

                                The real question is why is this woman staying around and putting up with you not being willing to compromise on such a small detail. I discussed your situation with my NL and she said, she would be out of the relationship in a New York minute if something as insignificant as a floor choice became a point of contention in the relationship. My NL said these two are in a power struggle over nothing and that is a sure sign to walk out that door...NOW!

                                Reducing a relationship to I'm paying and you aren't/can't, is essentially saying to this woman in your life, you have no worth in our relationship if you can't/aren't paying. If you can not recognize and appreciate all of the other talents and contributions she can make to your relationship, other than a monetary contribution, then what is the basis of your relationship? There is a lot more to relationship that a pocketbook..I'm paying, you are not, I win. Is that the relationship parameter you want to live with for the next 50 years?
                                Last edited by gjnl; 05-11-2019, 11:31 PM.

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