Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Where is that delicate line with parents?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #16
    Todd,
    Just off the top of my head:

    Teddy Pendergrass (R&B)

    Isack Perlmann (cello)

    Anyway, if you can get into some family counseling with your mother, that might help. She may not know how hurtful what she says is to you, and you may not be able to explain it without some help. I hope you are in progress on making plans to move out.
    The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

    Comment


      #17
      Originally posted by SCI-Nurse
      Todd,
      Just off the top of my head:

      Teddy Pendergrass (R&B)

      Isack Perlmann (cello)
      Were these men famous prior to injury? Even if not, those two men do not appeal to the MTV crowd. I didn't say a person with an SCI couldn't be a singer, but we must still be realistic about expectations. I don't see MTV and American Idol opening their doors to disabled people any time soon. Image is everything in popular music and culture, and more so if you're a woman.

      Comment


        #18
        As moving out goes, I am looking but it is very hard to find a place that is wheelchair accessible in Chicago. There are some resources but to take advantage of them I would have to live in city limits and I live just outside so I can't. The whole idea of therapy with my mom is just laughable. Not that she wouldn't do it but it would turn into me making her look like a terrible mother and would then make me feel even worse about myself so I think for my own sanity I don't think that right now it would be a wise decision. Thank you for the advice though. I will look into it once I do move out because then it will be a whole differnt ball game. I think that her big thing is acceptance she hasn't accepted the fact that I could possibly be happy and make a life for myself regardless of the fact that I don't get around like the majority of the populaton. I'm not saying it didn't take time for me to accept either because obviously it did. I still have a lot of bad days but there is a difference between having a bad emotional day and just flat out not believing that something has happened to change your life.

        Becky
        Chicago Illinois
        T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
        since 1/3/04

        I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

        Comment


          #19
          Ignore your mom, the sooner you're out on your own the better. If you're a mentally competent adult make sure your parents have as little control in your life as possible. If they are control freaks or naysayers it can only lead to grief.

          Todd I don't think you should be making judgements as to what people can & can not do until you get out & experience the real world.

          Comment


            #20
            Originally posted by canuck
            Todd I don't think you should be making judgements as to what people can & can not do until you get out & experience the real world.
            I am commenting on the real world. I didn't make the rules, I'm only stating them. I stand by what I said also. Simon Cowell would be just as honest.

            Comment


              #21
              Isak Perlmann had polio as a child. He has been paralyzed for his entire career. Teddy Pedergrass was already a popular singer, but coming back as a quad as a popular singer was not easy. I also have a client who played in a rock band locally that was very popular for a number of years locally who had a C7 injury. He was a singer and played the harmonica.

              There are many others. I am sorry Todd is so negative....(not realistic, defeatist).

              Why do you have to stay in Chicago? From what you say about your mother, some distance would be to your advantage. Are you going to school or have a job that keeps you there? If not, move far away. Even in the suburbs you will find much more accessible housing (and probably cheaper) than you will right in the city.

              (KLD)
              The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

              Comment


                #22
                Isak Perlmann had polio as a child. He has been paralyzed for his entire career. Teddy Pedergrass was already a popular singer, but coming back as a quad as a popular singer was not easy. I also have a client who played in a rock band locally that was very popular for a number of years locally who had a C7 injury. He was a singer and played the harmonica.

                There are many others. I am sorry Todd is so negative....(not realistic, defeatist).

                Why do you have to stay in Chicago? From what you say about your mother, some distance would be to your advantage. Are you going to school or have a job that keeps you there? If not, move far away. Even in the suburbs you will find much more accessible housing (and probably cheaper) than you will right in the city.

                (KLD)
                The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

                Comment


                  #23
                  Originally posted by SCI-Nurse
                  Todd,
                  Just off the top of my head:

                  Teddy Pendergrass (R&B)

                  Isack Perlmann (cello)

                  Anyway, if you can get into some family counseling with your mother, that might help. She may not know how hurtful what she says is to you, and you may not be able to explain it without some help. I hope you are in progress on making plans to move out.
                  Itzhak Perlman is a violin virtuoso, not a cellist. Perhaps you're thinking of Yo-Yo Ma, who is not disabled but can sure play a mean cello!



                  Itzhak Perlman

                  I remember watching Itzhak Perlman being interviewed on 60 Minutes (I think it was) recounting how he "felt like a sack of potatoes" being loaded onto a commercial airliner. I think that's what prompted him to get into the rights of the disabled.

                  Hi Becky,

                  Post-SCI I've never lived with my parents so perhaps shouldn't comment. But I would just tell your mom what she wants to hear and do what you want to do. Then go from there. Or probably the better and more honest approach would be to do as the SCI-Nurse suggests and get into some family counseling.

                  I think if you have a marketable classical voice that it shouldn't be very difficult for it to be recognized. The field isn't all that large for those truly gifted. It takes a lot of voice training and practice I suppose but you also need the gift.

                  Have you performed at any local or regional theaters or at your school and received any "rave" reviews above and beyond that of your contemporaries? That's the only way you're gonna know if you have what it takes. It's such a small niche that the cream of the crop should be easily recognized.

                  Bob.
                  "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Becky, ignore Mom and live your life. Your Mom's behavior may or may not be related to your disability. Parental units of AB children apparently say those things, too, from what I've seen of some friends and their parents growing up.

                    You only get this one life (barring reincarnation) and it's not a dress rehearsal.

                    I'm w/KLD on this one. Move away. Move far away if there is anyway for you to do it.

                    Go for it. If performing doesn't pan out as you hope, you can always go for a second career. More and more people have more than one career in a lifetime.

                    Find what blisses the hell out of you (performance?) and do it.

                    All the best.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      http://newmobility.com/articleViewIE.cfm?id=10863

                      An excellent jazz singer who happens to be a woman and who happens to be tetraplegic.

                      Never have a closed mind!
                      Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

                      I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Originally posted by SCI-Nurse
                        Isak Perlmann had polio as a child. He has been paralyzed for his entire career. Teddy Pedergrass was already a popular singer, but coming back as a quad as a popular singer was not easy. I also have a client who played in a rock band locally that was very popular for a number of years locally who had a C7 injury. He was a singer and played the harmonica.

                        There are many others. I am sorry Todd is so negative....(not realistic, defeatist).

                        Why do you have to stay in Chicago? From what you say about your mother, some distance would be to your advantage. Are you going to school or have a job that keeps you there? If not, move far away. Even in the suburbs you will find much more accessible housing (and probably cheaper) than you will right in the city.

                        (KLD)
                        KLD,
                        I don't have to stay in Chicago but with wanting a career in entertainment, you have only a few cities to choose from, Chicago, NYC, or LA. Like I said, I am looking in the suburbs for the cheaper rates but unfortunatey, some of the suburbs are just as bad, if not worse. I am still going to school but am taking this next year off. I just graduated with my degree in Health Information, my fall back degree, lol. I start at the University next fall for my vocal performance degree. I am definately going to be out then but thats 12 months away (sigh).

                        Becky
                        T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
                        since 1/3/04

                        I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

                        Comment


                          #27
                          WHat about Nashville? Good cost of living, nice weather and lots of music. I know it's "Country", but there's a lot more there.
                          BeeBee

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Becky,

                            If you want to pursue Classical music, try Chicago or NYC over LA. I don't think L.A. is big on Classical. NYC is probably the best in America.

                            Also, do you speak other languages besides English? Learning Romance tongues will greatly benefit you in singing Classical music. I'd love to help you if you ever need help learning them. I have resources I can share with you. Italian is probably your best bet for Classical styles.

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Originally posted by SCI-Nurse
                              There are many others. I am sorry Todd is so negative....(not realistic, defeatist).

                              (KLD)
                              Like I said, when she mentioned singing, I immediately thought of American Idol and MTV. In all the years American Idol has been on the air, it has never once featured a physically disabled person, even in the top 30.

                              My point was not that Becky should not pursue singing at all, but only that most in the entertainment field ostracize people who aren't "perfect". It's all about image (usually surrounded by sex appeal) and money.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Originally posted by Le Type Fran├žais
                                Like I said, when she mentioned singing, I immediately thought of American Idol and MTV. In all the years American Idol has been on the air, it has never once featured a physically disabled person, even in the top 30.
                                Have you seen "So You Think You Can Dance?" They have featured dancers with disabilities. Google "Bryan Gaynor".

                                My point was not that Becky should not pursue singing at all, but only that most in the entertainment field ostracize people who aren't "perfect". It's all about image (usually surrounded by sex appeal) and money.
                                That is very true, but I wonder if you would tell an AB friend to find another day job if they weren't really good looking. You seemed to be emphasizing the idea that there is discrimination against people with disabiliites and sounded very discouraging towards the idea of any gimp wanting to perform professionally. I wouldn't be that negative about the idea without hearing someone sing first.

                                C.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X