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  • Children for the Disabled by the Disabled

    I've read a few posts on here of people wanting children & I was wondering if this could be a good Idea or a little too out there. I've seen different shows over the years about gay male & female lesbian couples wanting children but not wanting to use a sperm bank or couldn't because rejection over their gay lifestyle. The lesbian female couple would search for a gay male couple or gay male or vise versa & they would agree to have a child together & both would take turns raising the child. In one case the lesbian female couple had the main rights & the gay male couple would visit once in a while. The same idea could be done for two disabled people who want a child. After signing an Agreement / Contract. The male could donate the sperm for insemination & the female could be inseminated with the sperm at a clinic. Then they could raise the child according to the agreement or contract. I'm think this could work for SCI males & females who want children but who haven't found the right mate or because of age they are running out of time. Females can always go to a sperm bank, how expensive that is I don't know, but for males finding a surrogate would be a lot harder. This idea could solve both problems. Please give me your feedback I'd like to know what everyone thinks, Thanx.
    Last edited by Norm; 04-30-2006, 09:24 PM.
    "Some people say that, the longer you go the better it gets the more you get used to it, I'm actually finding the opposite is true."

    -Christopher Reeve on his Paralysis

  • #2
    The sperm bank option really isn't that expensive .. at least not when I looked into it. It's spooky, can choose hair colour, eye colour, personality traits, sports-minded etc .... ancestry ...
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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    • #3
      Jodie Foster used a sperm bank. I read somewhere she chose a donor with a very high IQ.
      "Some people say that, the longer you go the better it gets the more you get used to it, I'm actually finding the opposite is true."

      -Christopher Reeve on his Paralysis

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      • #4
        Wouldn't adoption be as good without the pain of child birth? I believe gays are allowed to adopt, why not us?
        C2/3 quad since February 20, 1985.

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        • #5
          I believe it's been discussed before that certain foreign countries will allow a single disabled person to adopt.

          I'd love to! It's a lot of money though ... unless you can find a church to sponsor you ... and with my shift work it wouldn't work out.
          Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

          T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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          • #6
            Norm, also keep in mind that most men with SCI don't ejaculate, and may require expensive treatments such as the Ferticare or electroejaculation to obtain semen. In addition, even with these interventions, most men with SCI have a poor sperm count or poor quality sperm, or both. Many men who do father children therefore require very expensive ART procedures such as invitro or ICSI, which also requires the woman to take fertility drugs and go through multiple surgical procedures. Even with all of this, most of the best SCI fertility programs have only a 30% success rate (actual live births).

            Both donor sperm (either private donation or sperm banks) are an option for many couples, as is adoption. Adoption is possible for many couples, but is very difficult for a single person with a disability. While adoption agencies who turn you down simply because you have a disability would be in violation of the ADA, they can turn you down if there is a question of your ability to provide for the support or safety of the child. In a couple with one AB parent, this is not generally a good reason to prevention adoption, but it could be for a single parent adoption.

            (KLD)
            The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

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            • #7
              I guess that ends that Idea.
              "Some people say that, the longer you go the better it gets the more you get used to it, I'm actually finding the opposite is true."

              -Christopher Reeve on his Paralysis

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              • #8
                After reading this post, I am left with a sinking feeling in my guts.
                I guess seeing the word "child" and "contract" in the same sentence is just a big red flag.

                With so many kids being forced to live out thier lives in lousy situations, isn't it a shame we could not have a more direct course in adoption?

                Speaking with a lady in New England, I found out something that made my blood boil.
                She was unable to adpot. Not because of her disability, but because of where she lived.
                Even though she could care for the child, New Horizons would not allow a child in.
                Even the case worker involved for the child could not fathom it.
                How ironic that a housing situation created to promote living on ones own and out of a SNF... was the true holdback on this subject.

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                • #9
                  Norm,
                  Are you looking for a surregate mom or what, if you are let me know maybe I can help.
                  Alice
                  Let your Heart be your guide in Life and Love.
                  Alice

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                  • #10
                    sorry about the spelling in last post.
                    Alice
                    Let your Heart be your guide in Life and Love.
                    Alice

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                    • #11
                      Hi Alice, I was just throwing the idea around for other people mainly.
                      Last edited by Norm; 07-10-2006, 03:57 PM.
                      "Some people say that, the longer you go the better it gets the more you get used to it, I'm actually finding the opposite is true."

                      -Christopher Reeve on his Paralysis

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Old news but just saw it on my local news yesterday (would love to do this if I didn't work shift work!). According to the news report, a two-week respite adds about two years to extend their lives.

                        The Hamilton Spectator
                        News, Friday, August 2, 2002, p. A02
                        Chernobyl's children
                        Beamsville resident Pam Ellens initiated a respite program-- with the financial support of area rotary clubs-- for the impoverished young victims of the world's worst nuclear disaster.
                        Kelly Putter
                        Special To The Hamilton Spectator
                        Beamsville - It has taken Pam Ellens nearly three years of sucking it in to talk without tears about her babies from Belarus.
                        But her eyes still glisten when she tries to portray the indescribable emotions that these children of Chernobyl bring to her western world.
                        "I never thought this would become such a passion," says the Beamsville resident who brought an international respite program for the impoverished young victims of the world's worst nuclear disaster to the attention of her rotary club in west Niagara. "How can you look at those little innocent victims and not want to help them?"
                        The first child was Anastasiya Syargeichuk, an eight-year-old Minsk native Ellens met two summers ago. Charmed by her humility and gratitude and horrified by her distended belly, Ellens visited Belarus that winter to try to comprehend how the little girl lived.
                        What she witnessed would move her to tears for months after returning home: one-room hovels, four family members to a bed, a diet of bread, potatoes and tea, substandard hospitals and orphanages, children plagued by disease and deformity.
                        "I would find myself in my office breaking down and crying," she recalls. "It took me many Rotary presentations before I could talk about the children without crying."
                        She's been on a mission of sorts ever since. The Rotary's Children of Chernobyl program has grown to 13 children this summer who are being hosted by families in west Niagara.
                        The program's objective is to provide the children with free medical and dental care, which is painfully lacking in their homeland. But even that objective went above and beyond dental fillings and new eyeglasses in late May when 11-year-old Nadezhda Lashuk underwent open heart surgery to correct a congenital heart defect at Toronto's Sick Kids Hospital.
                        Nadezhda had been denied surgery twice in Belarus even though doctors said she'd only live to see her 13th birthday. Ellens pulled strings with friends involved in Rotary's Gift of Life program and the Herbie Fund, a Hospital for Sick Children foundation that has brought hundreds of children for operations not available to them at home.
                        Accompanied by Anastasiya, now 10, who acted as an interpreter, Nadezhda and her mother arrived in Canada May 10. Her four-and-a-half hour surgery was a success and she has spent the summer recuperating at Ellens' home.
                        "Her mother says her Belarus birthday is March 31," says Ellens. "And her Canadian birthday is the day of her surgery, May 23."
                        Although these children weren't yet born at the time of the 1986 nuclear accident in Chernobyl, many suffer its consequences, particularly in areas of Belarus that were hardest hit from the radioactive fallout. Thyroid cancer, stomach ailments and leukemia are common among children.
                        Respite programs have operated around the world and in Canada since 1990, offering some 150,000 Belarusian children a reprieve from their radiation contaminated homeland.
                        Families are expected to cover the cost of hosting a child for the summer. Area rotary clubs have been sponsoring the $2,000 per child cost of bringing them to Niagara. The program is open to children aged eight to 17. First visits are six to eight weeks and subsequent ones last up to 12 weeks. The doctors, dentists and optometrists of host families typically offer medical and dental care free of charge. Ellens hasn't yet heard of a child being turned away.
                        Ellens admits it's hard not to spoil the children from Chernobyl for whom the basics such as fruit and vegetables are a luxury. And if any single child bears the bulk of her generosity, it's Anastasiya, who shed tears of joy last month when Ellens presented her with Britney Spears concert tickets.
                        "She's the reason I do this project," says Ellens, who has a 23-year-old daughter and a 21-year-old son both in university. "She's so polite and thankful for everything. She's like a third child. She's changed my life forever."
                        Another part of the program is donations of medical supplies and equipment. Thanks to the generosity of area rotary clubs, Ellens carted about $12,000 US worth of stethoscopes, bandages and pap smear testing to Belarus hospitals servicing the thousands of poor who never get a reprieve.
                        And as executive director of West Lincoln Memorial Hospital Foundation, Ellens is well positioned to secure aid and second-hand medical equipment. A used baby warmer and hospital stretcher sit in her basement awaiting her next visit to Belarus.
                        Another child is being looked at for heart surgery and a 17-year-old girl will be attending Grimsby Secondary School this year on a youth exchange program. The sky, it would seem for Ellens, is the limit.
                        Last edited by lynnifer; 07-31-2006, 01:35 PM.
                        Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                        T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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                        • #13
                          Had not heard about that Lynnifer. What a great idea!

                          Has anyone had experience with foster parenting?

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