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    What can I do in this situation

    This really has nothing to do with SCI but I really don't know who I can talk to about it........

    My niece just started highschool this year, she just became friends with another girl. The friend is not the problem, my niece was at their house over the weekend and somehow the girl's mother got into it with her over a religious issue, supposedly their family is very religious and my niece is an athiest, I don't even know how the subject came up but Anyway the friend's mother started lecturing my niece about religion and how you couldn't be a good person without believing in God ect. Then yesterday my niece comes home from school saying that the mother won't allow the two of them to hang out because she says my niece will be "a bad influence" on her daughter.

    Now My beautiful, intelligent niece is in tears over the whole situation, she doesn't dare bring it up wiith my sister because she knows my sister will go ballistic. I did not think people could be like this in 2005, we're not even living in f()cking South Carolina for crying out loud. I consider myself a Christian but I would NEVER subject a 14-year-old kid to this kind of judgement. Honestly I am so pissed off I seriously feel like beating the sh!t out of somebody but I don't know what there is I can do, if there is even anything.

    Oh well, Thanks for letting me vent.

    #2
    Terrible and sad situation. But hey, what I would have done after my anger had settled down was to phone this girls mother and discussed this sad situation and discussed it as grown ups and explained to here that they are just kids. And don’t be angry in the phone, just a suggestion. If that don’t work I don’t know what you have for options.

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      #3
      The situation is familiar to me. I live in part of Oslo with a lot of muslims and many of their children don't want to play with my 9-year old. They fight with him and call him bad names.

      I agree with Leif, try to phone the mother. I have done that a couple of times and most of the parents agree with me that religion should not be a reason for children to fight and not play with each other. It is important to teach the children that everybody is equal in spite of colour and religion. But it is difficult if people are very religious, one way or the other.

      It is not strange it is wars when you see children can't keep peace with each other for such reasons.
      TH 12, 43 years post

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        #4
        my brother doesn't believe in god either...he's the kind of guy that is like "i'll see it when i believe it" now, i do believe in god and i read the bible but i don't attend church and i never have, and probably never will.

        i know people who go to church, who believe in god and are horrible people and would stomp on any face as soon as look at it. my brother is a wonderful person and would do anything for me and would do a lot for anyone else.

        what you believe or say you believe doesn't matter as long as you're a good person and do what's right.
        Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway

        Frank's blog:
        http://www.franktalk-scurry.blogspot.com
        My regular blog:
        http://www.ithinkithinktoomuchblog.blogspot.com

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          #5
          just strengthens my theory that christianity is just the oldest and largest pyramid scam ever.
          Death and taxes

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Cspine
            just strengthens my theory that christianity is just the oldest and largest pyramid scam ever.
            I think it has more to do with stupid ppl.

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              #7
              i think when people get to the point where they think they're superior and that everyone's going to hell except for them is when they're stupid from religion.
              Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway

              Frank's blog:
              http://www.franktalk-scurry.blogspot.com
              My regular blog:
              http://www.ithinkithinktoomuchblog.blogspot.com

              Comment


                #8
                Give her a call and do your best to mend the situation. You can always remind the religious mother that there are no lost souls in the church choir. Perhaps a few backsliders! No gain to be had in trying to convert the converted. If the daughter is comfortable in her faith then the mother has nothing to fear from your niece.

                The Great Commission According to Matthew

                “All authority hath been given unto me in heaven and on earth. Go ye therefore, and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit: teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I commanded you: and lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world” (Mt. 28:18-20 ASV)."


                But don't expect a rational response if the mother is irrational in her religion. I watched and listened to a very religious woman being interviewed in the Astrodome. At first she seemed normal enough but after awhile started going into a religious rant of sorts. Repeatedly thanking God for sending those brave national guardsmen into the New Orleans flood waters to save her. I mean, come on. If anything, it was God who sent the category 4 hurricane to destroy her house and the levees with all that wind and rain. And the dirty old government who sent in the troops. Or is the Devil responsible for hurricanes? Hmm, if God is omniscient and omnipotent then he has control over the Devil. Perhaps it's that "free will of humans" clause that screws the whole deal up. I don't know, but it tires me out just thinking about it.

                Okay, the Devil is responsible for the hurricanes when they cause damage and when they would make God look bad. But after traveling over land for awhile and they begin to simmer down a bit and start delivering badly needed rain water to the farmers so they can grow their crops that's when God takes over. See, it's really quite simple once you get your mind right.

                Honestly I am so pissed off I seriously feel like beating the sh!t out of somebody but I don't know what there is I can do, if there is even anything.
                That wouldn't be very Christian of you. More wars have been started and fought in the name of God than in the name of anything else.

                Try to win over the mother with diplomacy and good argument and assure her that your niece isn't the Devil incarnate.
                "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

                Comment


                  #9
                  My personal opinion (which is worth exactly what you're paying for it) is that the mother should not be called. I'd leave that end of the situation totally alone. You won't convince anyone to change any of their beliefs or actions anyway. And, if you were to call, you will send a silent message to your niece that you will assist her in fighting her battles or, even worse, fight them for her. If you only help her to accept/understand/deal with the situation by discussing it with her, you will send her the message that you're there for her but, she will have to go out in the world and deal with her own situations. At 14 she's learning a good life lesson if you discuss it with her but let her know that she'll be responsible for dealing with it with her friend. Part of that lesson is that she'll ultimately have to fight her own battles in life. And, that it's sure nice to have an Uncle's good judgement to help her come to good decisions on issues. You being there for her to bounce ideas off of and to brainstorm with will be great for her and she'll have her thoughts together and be prepared to deal with her friend.

                  I think it's great that you're spitting nails about this and, best of all, that she's lucky enough to have a great Uncle who cares.

                  Way to go, Unc!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    what does she want you to do, or is she just looking for someone to listen?
                    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world...is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." - Almost Famous

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Thanks for all your replies

                      Starlight - no, she hasn't asked me to do anything, and probably wouldn't want me to even if I offered (in case you haven't figured out by now, she secretly is my favorite of the 3 kids). Religion has always been a devisive topic in our family anyway, my parents were very strict religious types too and when my sister decided when she was 12 that she didn't believe in God anymore it made for a lot of family fights. My biggest memories were of my father trying to force my sister to pray, he would yell at her and hit her when that didn't work, now she has never trusted religious people since. Anyway I am not sure why I am going off on this tangent except as background.

                      As far as this situation is my niece has basically resigned herself to just seeing her friend at school. They e-mail each other when the girl's mother isn't looking.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        First off I want to say that yes there are people in this day and age that are intolerant of other persons' private regilious beliefs that they themselves take for granted. I live around the Indy area, in a town with a large population of Islamic families. In middle school I befriended our neighbors, the Islamic twins Esa and Mussa, by the time I graduated High School I'd recieved over 5 death threats and had been told I was going to hell for being friends with the "infedel". Most of these came from "good Christians". I know how confusing it is for your neice.

                        Honestly her friend's mom will probably not change her mind. Your neice needs to tell her mom. Maybe she could tell her mom beforehand that shes afraid of her being angry and "attacking" the person whom upset her.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I wouldn't call the mother. I've seen my mom call up other mother's to talk to them about what happened between my sister and other girl's or mother's. My sister seemed to like it if the conversation got a little rough, which sometimes didn't take long. People are stuborn when it comes to there religion but more so when it comes to there kids. People will always bunt heads when it comes to religion. I just stay away from all of it, I know what's right and what's wrong and that should be enough for any God. I've been baptized and all that but I don't read the bible, go to church or answer the door when the Jahovas Whitness come. So if that lady with her one track mind can't respect others beliefs, it's her and her family that are the one's missing out on all the good things her God has laid out for her stuck up thinks her shit don't stink ass. (No offense to God by using swears in the same sentence with his name was meant in this message.) Good luck.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Boy, I just saw this thread and can not help but think about all the missed opportunities to show the love and grace of our heavenly father.

                            If this mother is a true Christian, then she has certainly greived the Holy Spirit by misrepresenting the true compassionate heart of God. Her attitude is not Christlike in any way.

                            Just think of all the damage that could last a lifetime. By reading some of the replys, you can already see how God and the Bible is having to bear the brunt of her misrepresentations. Of this, she will have to give an account.
                            Rick

                            GO FORWARD! 2 FIGHT! PARALYSIS!

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Cspine
                              just strengthens my theory that christianity is just the oldest and largest pyramid scam ever.
                              dont misconstrue faith and religion...two different things....

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