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    Help with marriage proposal ideas!

    I need help coming up with a great and memorable way to propose to my girlfriend. I had a cousin propose by cutting "marry me Sarah" and then pointing down to it while they were skydiving. I've had friends propose on top of mountains, the Eiffel Tower, in Rome, and with the traditional getting down on one knee at a fancy restaurant. Being a new C5/6 quad, my options are limited.

    Marrige proposals are something that are remembered for a long time. I'd like to come up with something original, but if someone has a great idea I'm going to use it.

    So, all you Muses and hopeless romantics out there, please chime in and help a guy out!

    Thanks CC!

    Jay

    ~"Go Big or Go Home"

    #2
    http://www.firstdance.com/mp2.htm

    There are some cute ones in there. You might want to read through and change a few things to be more original, but you might find something that would work. The one about having someone in a parade bring you the ring or someone on the stage at a concert saying something was really different. But just so anyone on here doesnt give you or me the lecture about doing it your own way, it would be more romantic thingie, I think you could easily change any of the ideas listed to be more your style. Good luck !

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      #3
      Not to be negative but - DON'T!

      Seriously, you are only 5 months into this SCI thing and every couple will tell you there is a "I don't care. I'll love him and take care of him forever." denial stage. Then the reality sets in. With SCI, you and your S.O. will discover that things get worse before they get better.

      Things will get better... I think any Quad vet. will tell you it was at least 3 to 5 years before you adapt.

      You have so much more healing, rehab and adjusting to do.

      I think you and her will regret taking such a serious step so soon.

      Just work on loving and supporting one another as gf/bf for now.

      I don't want to empty a leg bag on anyone's corn flakes, but that is just MHO.

      Best regards and good luck.

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        #4
        CowboyCrip,

        Thanks for the advice, and I've heard others echo the same sentiments. Part of me thinks that I shouldn't really defend my decision, but I wanted to say a few things about our situation. My girlfriend and I lived together before my accident. We weren't really interested in marriage at the time, because we felt it was a bit of a societal construct. I guess I take has changed, but our relationship really hasn't. I have to say that I think I'm doing pretty well all things considered. I'm not depressed and I do foresee a very positive future for my life. I guess what really comes down to is that every relationship is different. There are definitely a smattering of new challenges for us as a couple that come along with my SCI, but I don't see these as harder than I challenges that every married couple will face. It's all about evolving within the context of the relationship.

        J.

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          #5
          Hey Jay.....Congrats on your commitment to her. However, I believe you do need to make certain the both of ya'll is ready for what will be a lifetime of hard work. I agree with CowboyCrip. A lotta changing gonna be happening over the next years. I am 6 months post T 7/8 inc., and I've had HUGE changes since busting outta the hospital. I think what would really be important imo is to show her great love, hard work in rehab and at home. I think maybe she should see how determined you are to do for yourself,and that she won't need to carry the heavy load. What CowboyCrip sez is true,very true. You are right that we dont know the real situation between your lucky lady and you. Only ya'll do. And maybe I'm totally full of crap and am worring way too much here. Its just that I saw a lot of heartache in the hospital as people came to grips with the enormous reality of what it takes to care for wheelers. But, still, if ya reckon its "go" time,then the very best of luck to the both of ya'll. Gotta post wedding pics also. Take care,John

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            #6
            Anyway you do it will be special. Go by your heart.
            - Moody

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              #7
              the most meaningful and memorable way to propose is a way only you would think of.
              Death and taxes

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                #8
                Man, you people are rough, but luckily I think I haven't figured out. I'll let everyone know how it goes! Wish me luck.

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                  #9
                  Well, tell us. How did it go?

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                    #10
                    I'm still working on getting the ring. Her parents are coming out from New York (to Denver) at the end of the month, so I might do it then. I will definitely let you know how it goes!

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                      #11
                      Jay - good luck with your decision / method. Maybe a sports venue / scoreboard / banner idea given that you live in CO?

                      Whatever you decide, besides what CC and GB said which I agree with, imho I don't think any guy ab'd or dis should get married before 30. Your 20's are such a time of emotional change, growth and maturity that often what you thought was rock solid "for life" at 25 is not necessarily the same at 30+. This applies to many, many things in life but particularly relationships, both love, friendship and business.

                      Hey, I'm an old fart so you may just want to ignore me altogether.

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                        #12
                        Jay~ best of luck to you guys if you've already proposed. But if you haven't yet, I've got one important question for ya...Is SHE really ready for this? I'd have to agree with CowboyCrip and Graybeard, but want to throw out another opinion from the able-bodied woman's perspective. I really care about my guy (c 5-6 sci) deeply, but there are a lot of confused thoughts running around in my head. We're young (both 24) and I frequently think about how different my life would be if we were married. After my guy realized I was having such doubts, he really started to lay the love on thick, constantly telling me how much he loved me, how I'm the best thing that has ever happened to him, etc. Obviously women don't mind hearing that sort of thing, but we want to hear it b/c you really feel that way and NOT because you're afraid of losing us. I don't doubt that you and your gf really care about each other, but make sure she has time to adjust to these changes too. Unless you are sure SHE is ready too, maybe you should give it some time? If you really feel your relationship will last, there is no hurry

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                          #13
                          Engaged!!

                          I'm the girlfriend (now fiancee!) in all of this, and while I can appreciate the words of wisdom from CC and GB (and a few others), I think this is the best thing for JayColorado and me. We were at that place before the accident. Things are tough now, we're not kidding ourselves, but even with all the change that's happening because of the injury, some things stay the same, like how we feel about each other and how we support each other. We have different challenges than most couples, but I don't see us as very different from AB couples. Except that maybe we communicate better than most.

                          We're not suddenly getting married because he's afraid of losing me, or because I want to prove that I'm devoted to him, or for any other reason other than that we love each other.

                          Sometimes you just know it's right...
                          Last edited by MarySopchak; 11 Oct 2005, 7:16 PM. Reason: adding more

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                            #14
                            Good luck Mary & Jay

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                              #15
                              Congrats Mary and JayColorado!! How exciting

                              Mary, hope I didn't offend you. I wasn't trying to discourage Jay, just wanted to give him another perspective. Obviously he knew the right thing to do

                              So back to the point of the thread~ the proposal. He hasn't posted how he did it?!
                              Last edited by HikerBabe; 12 Oct 2005, 12:27 PM.

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