my wife and I are celebrating our 25th anniversary and need some ideas. She's my primary caregiver also I was wanting to know what other quads do for their spouse that take care of them.
-
C4 incomplete since 1985 -
How about a cruise or stay at a nice resort, and arrange for an attendant to go with to do your care (staying in a separate room/cabin of course).The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums. -
Can't do the cruise because she gets real seasick, she had been on several with her parents but did not like being stuck on the ship in between ports. They do have a beach house, which maybe I can get her mom to block that off. But we don't have anybody to help take care of me that we trust, both family and friends have screwed us over so it's basically just my wife and my friend/roommate/caregiver taking care of me. My mom usually good come and stay but since my father just died in February and she has to take care of the animals (chickens, donkeys, etc.). So she could only take care of me for about 3 days because she is about 2 hours away. And since I'm in bed. She doesn't feel comfortable leaving me that long. Decision decisions, decisionsC4 incomplete since 1985Comment
-
First of all, it is crazy how close we are in both age and age of injury...now on to your question...
It is definitely tough. My go to is to hire someone to do stuff to make her life easier. A maid service, for example, or hire a landscaping company to plant annual flowers, install a new garden, etc.. I once tried to hire someone to come in and prepare a week's worth of meals. Or, you could time it up with a major purchase that would be needed eventually but not quite yet, like furniture, vehicle or redecorating. Of course there's the obvious jewelry route.
All that takes money though, and there's never enough of that. What I eventually realized, after 20 years of writing simple but heartfelt notes for her annual Valentines flower delivery, was that writing something meaningful and from the heart can be more special and valuable than anything that I might ever purchase. As guys, we often under-express how we feel, and really letting those who are the most important in our life truly grasp how we feel about them is incredibly powerful for the receiver and the giver.
Good luck!Comment
-
Day at the Spa!
OR .. I like the second paragraph above with the heartfelt note.Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.
T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12Comment
-
Some good ideas from quadfather. I know I'm not the typical wife who likes flowers and resorts. What is she passionate about? For me that would be gardening, so a load of topsoil or a person to pull weeds in my garden where I can't reach would be awesome! Love the idea of having someone coming in to clean or cook. Maybe even have a room painted that she has been wanting to tackle herself.Comment
-
A couple of days off, a short trip with a best friend, away from the usual would do her really good. Set it up with an agency to take care of you during that time. Do it in a manner where she will have no choice but to accept it. I would think that would be a way to show her how much she means to you.I refuse to tip toe through life, only to arrive safely at death.Comment
-
Some of these suggestions would be good ideas for a significant birthday, but I don't think that a couple who is celebrating their 25th anniversary would want to celebrate it apart from one another and the celebration may be more meaningful if it is planned together.
NL and I will be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary in May of 2019. We've started to think about how we may want to celebrate, but nothing is definite at this point.
There are dozens of romantic cities and sites in the United States depending on your interests and outlook (I assume "crppled007 lives in the states, although we don't have much to go on...location "Serenity."), i.e., San Francisco, California Wine Country, Big Sur/Carmel/Monterey, Columbia River Cruise, Santa Fe, Taos, Lake Tahoe, even Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Sedona, AZ (can you tell I am a confirmed westerner???), Washington/Oregon Wine Country, Hawaii, Niagara Falls, Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard, and so many more.
Sure a special gift is nice, and you may find just the right thing to commemorate the celebration at your destination.
My dedicated and loving (and lovely) lady would rather spend the time together, even if parts of the routine stay the same. But, that is just us.Comment
Comment