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Here's what the mother of my girl did this week

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    #31
    Woman from Europe is right in that you are on the birth certificate as the father, then if you split from this woman regardless of her parentage you will get billed for child support. You need a good attorney specialising in family law. You can get visitation as well as be responsible for child support. One is not dependent on the other.

    The only way she can shit you out of visitation is by getting you declared not her father in a court of law, so there is still hope for you and her yet.


    Afterthought... in some courts you do not need an attorney to establish visitation for the child. Do some checking in your jurisdiction and see what you can come up with.
    Last edited by skippy13; 16 May 2012, 7:46 PM. Reason: afterthough...
    Anything worth doing, is worth doing to excess

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      #32
      I know DNA testing is 99.8% right all the times but her eyes, nose, hair and looks just to much like me. Her mom greened eye and i'm blue. The guy now she says it is. He's black headed and dark brown eyes. I was a cotton top just like her. No one told us that we needed not eat anything for a hour before testing. I ate about 40 min before and her mother was feeding her puffs by gerber before we went back there she put one in her mouth right infront of the testing lady. She told me then to remove. They didn't test her mom either. What I have read that they test all 3 of us at the same time.
      Last edited by tigger74; 16 May 2012, 7:53 PM.

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        #33
        This has to be the most gut wrenching thing I have heard.

        I don't know what else to say.... I wish I knew what to do or say to help you.

        I don't know about the DNA but don't give up. We will hope there was a mistake. You are such a good father.
        T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

        My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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          #34
          Originally posted by darkeyed_daisy View Post
          This has to be the most gut wrenching thing I have heard.

          I don't know what else to say.... I wish I knew what to do or say to help you.
          It feel like she just died. I can't stop breaking down. I shut down my FB page because I had so many pictures of daddy little girl. All my family and friends have seen them and been here for all the time we spent together.

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            #35
            Originally posted by tigger74 View Post
            It feel like she just died. I can't stop breaking down. I shut down my FB page because I had so many pictures of daddy little girl. All my family and friends have seen them and been here for all the time we spent together.

            Since you signed the birth certificate, does that not hold weight? Regardless of the DNA? You have raised that child....you are the parent.

            I just can't imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry.
            T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

            My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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              #36
              Originally posted by tigger74 View Post
              I know DNA testing is 99.8% right all the times but her eyes, nose, hair and looks just to much like me. Her mom greened eye and i'm blue. The guy now she says it is. He's black headed and dark brown eyes. I was a cotton top just like her. No one told us that we needed not eat anything for a hour before testing. I ate about 40 min before and her mother was feeding her puffs by gerber before we went back there she put one in her mouth right infront of the testing lady. She told me then to remove. They didn't test her mom either. What I have read that they test all 3 of us at the same time.
              There is hope then. Maybe they made a mistake. She does look like you.
              T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

              My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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                #37
                hair and eye color aren't indicative of parentage. you can be a dark haired, dark eyed parent and have a blonde haired, blue/green eyed kid.

                that being said... you love this child and have raised her for her 9months here on this earth. sounds like you not being in her life will be detrimental given what you've said about her mother. fight for her for all it's worth. as she definitely is worth it.
                "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                http://www.elportavoz.com/

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                  #38
                  Talk to the mother last night. She wants me to be the father and get her like every other weekend plus pay child support. The real dad just got fired from his janitor job last week. He also push pills to because that's why she was with him. What the hell to do....

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                    #39
                    Originally posted by tigger74 View Post
                    Talk to the mother last night. She wants me to be the father and get her like every other weekend plus pay child support. The real dad just got fired from his janitor job last week. He also push pills to because that's why she was with him. What the hell to do....
                    We all know a DNA test does not make a father. However, given her history, you are on the birth certificate of this child right? You are already on the hook in most states for child support. I think you said you already have a lawyer. Unfortunately, you can't just leave a child behind....some men can. My daughter was 22 before she met her father. He made some bad choices like your ex. One of them was not having her in his life.

                    Whatever you decide, don't let your ex use this child to manipulate you. It sounds like she is already doing that. It almost sounds like she just needs the child support now and janitor has lost his job. Let your focus be the child. I know you are hurting but don't let her use this child to hurt you further. How cruel can one person be? Don't answer that. There are lots of cruel people in the world.....

                    That child needs you.

                    I just don't know the answer for you.....
                    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

                    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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                      #40
                      Bad news

                      I called and checked on jayci today and now her mom decided she don't want me in her life. Now what? I have email that pretty much she knew it was his all a long. Telling that she would be better if I was the dad to get money from ssid. Is There any legal action we can take against her for all the pain she has caused us and money spent?

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                        #41
                        That woman is bad. Tell her that you don't want to speak to her and she has to write to your lawyer instead so you have everything written down. Then fight her in court to get the child. DNA or not, you are the one who has been with the child and she is the one who has done stupid things.

                        I don't know your law and rules so maybe I give bad advice. If you don't work do you have to pay a lot then? The father of my small one pay 50 dollars a month, it is nothing here. I pay 20 dollars for bus fare everytime he goes to visit his father.
                        TH 12, 43 years post

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                          #42
                          I can not say for certain that I am correct on this, your attorney should have already told all of this to you however about the only thing you being on the birth certificate guarantees is that you will be paying child support for the next 18 years. Although you may be able to avoid it because I think if you can get it invalidated in court that you must be the acting father for 2 years before a DNA test is unable to reverse your responsibility. After 2 years it does not mater you are responsible. Maybe because they figure that the kid might remember you or something so it would be psychologically damaging to the kid.

                          As far as custody goes though, unless the mother admits that she is a drug addict and is currently using, which no mother would ever do, the mother will win custody. Even if you were the biological father she would get custody. If you had been married and suspect she is still using you might have been able to get the court to do a drug test though because of her prior convictions. But you're not, so you may just have to either get over it and fight to avoid paying for a kid that will only ever be used to manipulate you if you let her.

                          As far as trying to sue for expenses that you already made you don't have a chance at all unless you have signed documents from her saying that they were loans and that she would pay them back. However since it sounds like she is atonal loser trying to collect a judgement even if you did get one would be impossible.

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