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  • Dad not copeing

    I need advise as to if counseling for our family is inline. My sons dad has a couple of times lately downed ez on his excitement. the last waa about possiblity of being hired at college as an equipment assistant for a hockey team. Ez current Jr coach knows the person that would hire Ez. He had a very good chance of getting this position. His dad told him how did he think he could do the job being disabled.
    Ez and I both just were in shock that he just said this. Ez turned red and stated thanks for the encouragment and left the room. I asked him how could he take his hope away and be so cruel. His dad just said someone needed to ground him in his hopes.
    Why would someone be so cruel. This is not the first time that his Dad has been upset with Ezra that he thinks he can do something.

    I do not have anymore energy to help his Dad figure it out. I work full time and am there for my son.

  • #2
    What's your sons disability

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    • #3
      Hey mom, yeah counselling is needed bigtime. Sounds like the dad is either drinking trying to drown his unhappiness in what happened to EZ or is envious that the kid carries on with the gusto and winner he was/is pre injury.

      we sons have a difficult time enough trying to live up to pour dad's expectations; this surley was a knock down for E.

      Time to get a third party(nuetral) involved. My thoughts are with you girl, stay strong.

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      • #4
        SCI T5T6 incomplete. He has upper body strength. forearm crutches for short distance. Wheel chair for more mobility. He does not have any other issues.

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        • #5
          A disability doesn't only affect the person with it, it's the family as well.
          Perhaps Ez needs to get involved with others in the disabled community so Dad can converse with other parents having a similar experience. Sometimes it takes that association with others to learn.

          just a thought..
          Rick Brauer or just call me - Mr B

          http://www.riseadventures.org

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          • #6
            Hmm, that's not nice. I hope what was said will push Ez to prove to himself and his dad that he can do pretty much anything he sets his mind to. Please let Ez know we're routing for him here! I'm only 8 months post injury and I'm pretty happy about all the stuff that i can still do!

            I hope the dad opens his eyes and realizes what Ez is capable of.

            Best Wishes,
            Si
            T11 Asia A after near-fatal bike crash.. Just happy to still be here

            No, I didn't loose my mind... It got scared and ran away!!

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            • #7
              Suprsi
              I agree... his Dad needs to see how strong Ez is and he will accomplish what he sets out to do. He is enrolled in college and excited to get on with his life. I for one will always be there for him and he knows it. His older siblings are very supportive. If need be Dad can just sit back and think what he wants we will move on.

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              • #8
                I was replying to the original post, didn't make it very clear, sorry
                T11 Asia A after near-fatal bike crash.. Just happy to still be here

                No, I didn't loose my mind... It got scared and ran away!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mom15 View Post
                  I need advise as to if counseling for our family is inline. My sons dad has a couple of times lately downed ez on his excitement. the last waa about possiblity of being hired at college as an equipment assistant for a hockey team. Ez current Jr coach knows the person that would hire Ez. He had a very good chance of getting this position. His dad told him how did he think he could do the job being disabled.
                  Ez and I both just were in shock that he just said this. Ez turned red and stated thanks for the encouragment and left the room. I asked him how could he take his hope away and be so cruel. His dad just said someone needed to ground him in his hopes.
                  Why would someone be so cruel. This is not the first time that his Dad has been upset with Ezra that he thinks he can do something.

                  I do not have anymore energy to help his Dad figure it out. I work full time and am there for my son.
                  Very sorry Mom15 to read about what happened to your son. Is he involved in any wheelchair sports post injury? If not getting involved in sports early on is very good therapy. It's very good physically as well as emotionally. It will enforce and make him realize that he's not alone and this may help his dad realize that Ez can do anything he puts his heart & soul into.
                  I'd like to suggest that Ez also join Care Cure and start posting on the site himself. Hope things change for you & your family real soon. The sooner the better.
                  Take Care Mom15 !
                  Cheers !!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Ez did join carecure last week which will be great for him I believe. He is involved with sled hockey as he has played hockey since the age of 3. He was in Jrs on his way to college hockey when he sustained his SCI last Dec 11. He just returned from the USA festival in TX. He had a great time with his team bonding and having fun with them. The team is very supportive of him too.

                    I am very proud of how his attitude is so positive as are others. He has goals that he will obtain I am sure of it.
                    College this fall with a goal of going on to law school after. He is doing great.

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                    • #11
                      Excellent news! Thanks for the update, sledge hocky is crazy, I'd love to have a go at that!

                      Has dad started to realize Ez's capabilities now?
                      T11 Asia A after near-fatal bike crash.. Just happy to still be here

                      No, I didn't loose my mind... It got scared and ran away!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Mom15 View Post
                        Ez did join carecure last week which will be great for him I believe. He is involved with sled hockey as he has played hockey since the age of 3. He was in Jrs on his way to college hockey when he sustained his SCI last Dec 11. He just returned from the USA festival in TX. He had a great time with his team bonding and having fun with them. The team is very supportive of him too.

                        I am very proud of how his attitude is so positive as are others. He has goals that he will obtain I am sure of it.
                        College this fall with a goal of going on to law school after. He is doing great.
                        I'm so glad to hear the good news about your son. Sounds like things are definitely looking "UP" for your family. Has his Dad changed his attitude any realizing that his son is doing great now? So glad to hear the team is real supportive of your son.

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                        • #13
                          Not sure if Dad gets it yet.. however he seems more open to listen more. He was ready a book that another SCI hockey player had written. Hopefully he will see that what Ezra is saying is real. Ezra and I are going Southern WI in June to attend a day with the Adaptive Adventures to wakeboard and or ski. Ezra did wakeboard prior to his injury. Should be fun.
                          We also got some good news that he is invited to NY for a sled hockey camp with USA hockey olyimpions. He is really exicted as that weekend is also the olympic tryout. I am so happy for him as hockey was and is a big part of his life.

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                          • #14
                            sounds great!!! sports are a great way to get confidence back! where in new york is the hockey camp?
                            "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                            http://www.elportavoz.com/

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                            • #15
                              Rochester NY. I see that is where you live. I do not have anymore details as of yet.

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