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    I have a question

    I have been visiting this site for a few months now and I am in aw that some here have family that are completely crazy and uncaring....

    I have never experienced the things that some write about.....i never have to worry about a nursing home, im never told i can't do something or go somewhere, they have never been ashamed of me or my disablility, etc....

    Does everyone here have it bad or are their some like me? Is the reason for the differences in the way we are treated have to do with the way someone (family members are raised) or is it because of where each of us live. Ive never been treated differently by my family, friends, or co workers.....

    #2
    I think some people just have b*stards for relatives/friends.
    I've always been treated well.

    Comment


      #3
      I have good family and friends
      We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
      Ronald Reagan

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        #4
        Originally posted by brucec View Post
        I have good family and friends
        Me too.
        Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

        I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

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          #5
          I have never been treated the way some on here say they have.....although my family and friends no i wont put up with it either lol

          Comment


            #6
            I have a great family and great friends. I know some people are not as blessed as the rest of us. Some people also see the dark side of everything and blame their family based on things they perceive as mistreatment. I know a lady who just wants to see everything as negative and it comes out of her mouth that way. If she was given the opportunity to walk again then she would complain that it took too long to get the opportunity. You can usually spot the negative people easily because they can't see the good in ANYTHING! Friends and family don't usually want to bend over backwards to help or support people who don't appreciate it.
            DFW TEXAS- T-10 since March 20th, 1994

            Comment


              #7
              I dont have it bad, but have had my share of trials.
              including family, which is why I have little or no contact with some family, or have divorced.

              my exhusbands mother actually said my 11 year mariage didnt matter because we were not married on a catholic church, and I was steril so that also excluded me from comunion, and once it was apparent I could no longer work and support my unemployed husband, It was ok to dump me. he is one of the many homeless in pennsylvania. his family will let him die out there.

              Not every family is that way, but some are. and for those who are members here, this place is the only option for friends and family for some. or a sounding board, or an ear to bend. so even if things are negative, and sometimes even heartbreaking, that is the reality, and people should feel free to speak of their trials even if some hate it.

              This place was created for emotional support, information, resorces, and friendships.
              life isnt always cherries and cream. sometimes its something else.

              and even if most of living is not terrible, when it is terrible should we just hold it in so as not to bring anyone down? no, we lift one another up, and share ways to get past it.

              I think a lot of the bad treatment has to do with exhaustion, lack of funds, pain, lonelyness, and also remember that their are many different cultures, and people are not always raised the same.

              being a dispatcher I assume police or er, or fire department, you know that sometimes life and living is unpredictable and sometimes tragic.

              sorry.

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                #8
                I agree with you 110 percent i just dont understand those that want to be negative all the time do they like being miserable?

                Comment


                  #9
                  yes i know life is unpredictable...but what i am getting at is everyone has something in their life that they can be happy about....i agree with off roader that some people like being miseable and negative

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by jody View Post
                    I dont have it bad, but have had my share of trials.
                    including family, which is why I have little or no contact with some family, or have divorced.

                    my exhusbands mother actually said my 11 year mariage didnt matter because we were not married on a catholic church, and I was steril so that also excluded me from comunion, and once it was apparent I could no longer work and support my unemployed husband, It was ok to dump me. he is one of the many homeless in pennsylvania. his family will let him die out there.

                    Not every family is that way, but some are. and for those who are members here, this place is the only option for friends and family for some. or a sounding board, or an ear to bend. so even if things are negative, and sometimes even heartbreaking, that is the reality, and people should feel free to speak of their trials even if some hate it.

                    This place was created for emotional support, information, resorces, and friendships.
                    life isnt always cherries and cream. sometimes its something else.

                    and even if most of living is not terrible, when it is terrible should we just hold it in so as not to bring anyone down? no, we lift one another up, and share ways to get past it.

                    I think a lot of the bad treatment has to do with exhaustion, lack of funds, pain, lonelyness, and also remember that their are many different cultures, and people are not always raised the same.

                    being a dispatcher I assume police or er, or fire department, you know that sometimes life and living is unpredictable and sometimes tragic.

                    sorry.
                    well said jody..

                    Comment


                      #11
                      very well said, jody. i've had my share(still do) of tragedy and family members being jerks. but i'm glad that i'm succeeding in life. it aint always rosy and just because i'm in a great place now, i wont forget where i came from. some ppl don't have an easy breezy life and when they complain about it, then that's ok. it's easy to decipher when someone is venting due to stress or just wanting to be miserable. to lump them all in one category does them all a disservice.
                      "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                      http://www.elportavoz.com/

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Jen,

                        I think this is a complicated issue. Everyone who's truly close to a person with a disability, be that as a friend, a family member, or something else, is going to have some trouble dealing with that at *some* point. I can't tell from your profile exactly why you use a chair, but I'm guessing that part of the reason nobody you know still makes an issue out of it is the fact that you've been using it for so long.

                        I would be very surprised if your parents didn't struggle with the fact that you suddenly found yourself needing a wheelchair when it first happened. But now, it's just part of who you are -- it's likely they don't even notice it anymore.

                        Then there's the question of how you yourself handle the chair -- or anything else related to your disability. I've found that when I don't make a big deal out of my chair, other people tend to quickly pick up on that, and just go on pretending it's not there. But whether or not you can distance yourself from your gimpy body to such an extent, depends entirely on the question of whether you've been able to accept yourself the way you are yet. That's generally easier to do for people who have been in the chair for a very long time, or better yet, who never really knew anything else. It's also easier for someone like me -- someone for whom life *in* the chair has some definite practical advantages over everything that came before it. There are things I am capable of now that I was never able to do before my wheelchair. That's not true for most people who end up in a chair. They experience genuine loss and not much to compensate for it, and they need time to mourn that loss.

                        And yes, people who just plain can't deal with 'abnormalities' definitely do exist. They're ashamed of their 'crippled' family members. They consider them an inconvenience more than anything else. They feel frustrated when confronted with a problem they can't solve, and they express that frustration in completely unacceptable ways. I've seen some of that in my life, from a lot closer by than I would have liked.

                        Just because you never ran into that kind of behavior, or because you did and you don't remember it, doesn't mean people who do find themselves in that kind of environment are just looking at it from the wrong angle.

                        Be happy to find yourself surrounded by people who seem to accept you as you are. Help other people look at the world from a different perspective when you think you can. But don't judge them for not seeing things your way, because you won't know what their life is like until you've lived it.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I honestly dont believe that my family handles my disability so well becuase ive been this way so long. I have a cousin in kidney failure and gets hooked up to a machine 3 times a week, he has tubes in his arms and my family or his looks at him differently, they aren't ashamed of the tubes or him.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I guess your asking does (everyone) have it so bad, is what bugs me. you know everyone does'nt. (pease dont get upset, Im not trying to pick a fight or anything.

                            I can tell you that many who come here start out very negative, and over time get to be some very encouraging and positive members.

                            I think it is because of the support they get here. the positive responses, and ideas to change ones situation. the affirmation that yes that does suck, but what can be done to change it? notice with even the most negative posts, there are those who add positive responses. I can tell you, I was feeling a lot more negative about my life and future when I first arrived at carecure than I do now.

                            I hated telling my friends here I was homeless, I didnt want to worry anyone. I needed the prayers though.
                            I didnt tell anyone of the fires, in 04 and 07, though they were devistating. the second on was just too sad to share here at the time as it was christmas and we almost all died. however in my absence people knew something was wrong. and when I let out those things happened, a couple people said why didnt you tell anyone?!!

                            I think a lot of suicides have been prevented here. I know mine was. I didnt tell a soul I was suicidal until years later, but just being here learning about my injury level, and meeting others who got through it ok was really a life saver.

                            It is nice to know though that people are safe and loved in their homes with their families.
                            Dont you think the positive posts far out number the negative?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              to lump them all in one category does them all a disservice.[/QUOTE]

                              I agree. It's easy to tell the difference in those who enjoy being miserable and those who are having a rough patch and need support. Attitude is what makes the difference in whether they move forward or not.
                              DFW TEXAS- T-10 since March 20th, 1994

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