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    2 year old and not listening

    So I have a 2 year old niece that I help raise between me and my grandma.

    She's always been really helpfull and listens to me well. But in the last couple weeks she's been acting up. It's more when I need her to do something, like if we're ready to leave or go inside. She has learned there are places that my wheelchair can't go, so of course when she's not wanting to do something she goes there so I can't get her.

    It's driving me mad! I was just wondering is any other parents have had this similar situtions. What did you do?

    I'm hoping this is just a phase and we'll be past it soon. But any advice would be nice! I'm new at parenting AND parenting from a wheelchair.

    Thanks!

    #2
    I have no experience at parenting, but isn't that why they are called the "terrible twos?" I think it is a rotten phase every kid goes through.

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      #3
      Yep my two year old granddaughter right there too! It will pass. You have to admit even when she is being rotten she is so stinking cute. Its hard to stay mad.

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        #4
        All children use to go through that, so normal
        TH 12, 43 years post

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          #5
          it's a completely normal and important stage of development,
          kids at two begin to realize they're independent beings, not extensions of
          parents and caretakers. there are some good online resources with tips:
          http://www.disabledparents.net/
          http://www.lookingglass.org/services...h-disabilities
          and more, plenty of ways that other parents have handled this stage.
          (not with spankings, but by allowing child to be disappointed by natural consequences...e.g., if she won't come when you call her, then she won't be able to hear the story you were going to read, etc.... )
          you may need to curtail your outings away from home with her until she's a little further along in her understanding. many parents in wheelchairs (self included) have used a child safety tether (chest harness and leash) during those years. if you are the only adult in charge, the tether is the only sure way to keep a young child from darting into danger, other than staying home for a few years.
          ignore the dirty looks that some ablebodied people send...they just don't get it. my son at two was like conan the barbarian--we'd have had to stay in for 4 years without that leash. also helpful was joining a mother's group-we had group outings to a playground and the other moms could help me extricate him from treetops, etc. good luck! be patient!!
          ( here we are a mere 11 years ago: http://www.disabledparents.net/sharon.html )
          Last edited by Crashbang; 12 Aug 2011, 1:25 PM.

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            #6
            My kids both do that....thankfully I have an AB here to help in those situations but it is hard as now my youngest doesn't think she has to obey me. But my 8 year old was the same, and now she is great.
            Emily, C-8 sensory incomplete mom to a 8 year old and a preschooler. TEN! years post.

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              #7
              I have young nephew and niece that I used to babysit when they were young. The thing is, kids find a way to get on your nerves, doesn't matter if you AB, on a wheelchair or the Superman!

              When she acts that way, just leave her there and don't give her attention. She will come through in few minutes. I have noticed that kids stop doing such things when they don't get any attention for it. After she comes through, do something that she likes, for example playing music and dancing with her (That's what I did with my niece and nephew)

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                #8
                I have a 4 and 6 year old, I was worried about them taking off on me but I really worked hard on letting them know a safe place around me for when we go out.

                They are smart and know that I can't get every where heck they have thrown stuff down to block me.

                I work with a countdown they have until 3 to come to me sometimes is a very slow 3 but that works and have been doing that for so long they come, they know not coming is worse then coming at the time.
                Blog of Me

                http://brianemartin.blogspot.com/

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                  #9
                  everytime I'm in public and see small children with their parents I am amazed at what the parents get away with. The way they speak to their kids is appalling to me. I often think to myself if I was bossed around all day I'd just split. The well behaved children I see are treated respectfully, the brats are just berated constantly with a foul tongue. I had the mix of these growing up and am as bi-polar as they come. I have no respect for authority figures and will undermine anyone that tries to get me to do what they say. Be consistent and you won't have children that grow up like me.
                  I used to think how nice it would be to be a little kid forever, now I see how bad it sucked. I clean my room when I want, do my chores whenever the fuck I want, eat when and whatever I want and don't have to listen to nobody. No wonder I hated rehab.

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                    #10
                    Thanks for the advice everyone! I'm definetly learning alot about kids with her. I'm glad to hear that it's most likely just as phase. I love being with her and would hate to think that I wouldn't be able to care for her.

                    Crashbang thanks for the website link, VERY helpful

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by swimcrankpush View Post
                      I have a 4 and 6 year old, I was worried about them taking off on me but I really worked hard on letting them know a safe place around me for when we go out.

                      They are smart and know that I can't get every where heck they have thrown stuff down to block me.

                      I work with a countdown they have until 3 to come to me sometimes is a very slow 3 but that works and have been doing that for so long they come, they know not coming is worse then coming at the time.
                      I give 5 for the 4 year old. I've "raised" 4 girls now working on a 9 and 4 year old nephew. Boys are different.

                      All know if I can't see you and I count to 5 it's bye bye Dora or whatever is popular on NickJr. at the time.

                      I've ignored the you can't get me thing as they eventually come out when ignored. Your tone will tell them if they're in danger and they'll come out fast.

                      With the 9 year old and his buddies I've told them they cannot be seperated by 6 feet and if I can't see you I'm getting on the loudspeaker. So far so good...
                      Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

                      I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by MSWIFE1 View Post
                        Yep my two year old granddaughter right there too! It will pass. You have to admit even when she is being rotten she is so stinking cute. Its hard to stay mad.
                        Kids are like pets the only people who think they are so stinking cute are their parents/owners. Keep that in mind when they are acting up in public.

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                          #13
                          The only advice that I would add is try not to give ultimatums (ultimatii?), but when you don't *ever* back down. They have to learn from the start that when you say/threaten something you will always follow through. My sister-in-law always made hollow threats, and her kids stayed in their terrible twos until they were about 18.
                          Don - Grad Student Emeritus
                          T3 ASIA A 27 years post injury

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                            #14
                            my little brothers did that. the youngest did it once. i told him if he didnt come on his own by the count of 3 and behave he'd get a spanking on the bottom. he didnt come, so i sat and ignored him and eventually he got hungry and came down, and so i stopped him and said "what did i say would happen if you didnt come by the count of 3?" and he said "i'd get a spanking" so he got 2 spanks on the bum and i never had him do it again. same with poor behavior in the store, i gave him the warning (he was 4 that time) and he didnt stop within the countdown and so he got 2 spanks in the store. the next time he did i said "do you want a spanking?" and he said no and quieted down. once he was quiet i asked why he was upset. he got teary and said he was thirsty. so it turned into a lesson on how to ask for things without crying. i shared my juice with him and again, no more incidences. he is 8 now and absolutely great!

                            what i am saying is with kids they do need boundaries. clear ones, and clear consequences if they go outside of them, especially if it's for safety issues. and don't do it out of anger as you never want them to be afraid of you.
                            "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                            http://www.elportavoz.com/

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                              #15
                              Absolutely, the other thing is never do any discipline when you are angry - don't wait that long.
                              Don - Grad Student Emeritus
                              T3 ASIA A 27 years post injury

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