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  • #16
    It is interesting you posted that, I got accused (maybe a harsh word) by my therapist in rehab (you had to see one) as possibly having Asperger's due to my lack of emotional response to my injury. It was total crap, I just respond well to having goals, and being newly injured I had a lot of them. I didn't really have a "wow this really sucks" moment till I had reached the point where I really didn't have any "SCI" goals and I was in a steady state.


    Originally posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
    Actually, the Kubler-Ross model has been discredited in many studies as a model for coping with SCI and other non-terminal life crises.

    It has been incorrectly applied to SCI by many people, but such well-known researchers as Roberta Trieschmann (Trieschmann RB, 1988, Spinal Cord Injuries: Psychological, Social, and Vocational Rehabilitation) wrote about the fallacy of its use as early at the mid-1980s. The best predictor for how someone will emotionally respond to a SCI is how they responded to previous crisis in their life.

    Unfortunately too many mental health and other clinicians use the model as a "must" stage theory, and consider it somewhat pathologic if you don't respond in this order, with these exact emotional responses. Just because someone does not engage in bargaining or denial does not mean they are coping with the injury, nor does it mean that depression related to the diagnosis need to go untreated. Many people do not agree that "acceptance" must be the ultimate goal.

    The Kubler-Ross model is even under serious criticism now days as a model for adjustment to a terminal diagnosis.

    (KLD)

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    • #17
      I'll rain on the sunshine parade of accolades here and tell you to get control of yourself. You obviously can control your anger because you do with your friends. It is utterly disgraceful that you take it out on your wife, and especially on a 9 months pregnant wife. Stress is incredibly bad for the baby. I'm glad you are getting help, but I think you also need a dose of tough love here that you're not getting in this thread. Just STOP. When you feel the anger coming on, REMOVE yourself from the situation if you can't control your mouth. Count to 100, deep breathe, do whatever you need to do, but for god's sake, do not emotionally injure the one person you should never hurt.
      Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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      • #18
        "Megatron," the original poster, wrote this a little over a year ago. Hopefully he has gotten help and gained some perspective and control and that mother, father and baby are doing well.

        All the best,
        GJ

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        • #19
          Originally posted by gjnl View Post
          "Megatron," the original poster, wrote this a little over a year ago. Hopefully he has gotten help and gained some perspective and control and that mother, father and baby are doing well.

          All the best,
          GJ
          peterf responded yesterday saying he has similar problems, which to me makes this thread relevant. but thanks for being so helpful.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by t8burst View Post
            peterf responded yesterday saying he has similar problems, which to me makes this thread relevant. but thanks for being so helpful.
            I wasn't questioning the relevancy of the thread resurfacing nor was I trying to be "helpful." I was making a sincere comment regarding the well being of "Megatron" and his family (re: Ami's post #17).
            All the best,
            GJ
            Last edited by gjnl; 07-12-2012, 02:23 PM.

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            • #21
              Second verse same as the first.

              Everyone here goes through the same things but may not say it. My therapist was glad that i talked obout acceptance. Yda Yda Yda. Mkae sure you take care of yourself. I spent the first number of years being #?*% off. I regret that time because my family lost alot of me.
              Feelin good is good enough!

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              • #22
                Hi Megatron,

                The turmoil is not in the event but in our reaction to it. -Author is unknown to me.

                Bob.
                "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

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                • #23
                  angry is what makes me want to fight sci
                  Angry is what makes me take action to do what needs to be done
                  angry is how i can say i am your equal and more
                  Angry is what makes me shove pity back into the face of the contributor
                  Angry is how i can be heard

                  God bless angry. but please no overdose

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                  • #24
                    Anger is viewed as a socially acceptable emotion for men, more so than sadness or helplessness. It is possible that these other emotions/feelings are manifesting as anger. Family members are often the target of outbursts as it is "safer" to loose control with them rather than in the workplace.

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                    • #25
                      Tate, I had a similar reaction to my injury. I knew that I had not done enough to prevent it (by not wearing a seatbelt), and I was 46 & didn't feel "cheated" out of too many of life's experiences. I missed some of things I could no longer do and got sad or frustrated at times; but kept in mind the rehab advice of concentrating on the things I could still do (mostly).
                      Don - Grad Student Emeritus
                      T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

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                      • #26
                        I wonder how Megatron is doing? Maybe playing football?

                        Bueller?
                        Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

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                        • #27
                          IMO Nothing wrong with being angry, why should you not be? Just don't take it out on those who love you and care about you. Save it for the scumbags, assholes, douchebags, who crosses the path you wheel on and just unleash some verbal ass beating on them. Nothing wrong with that.
                          I do not subscribe to the all popular notion of letting go, forgiving, and all that kombaja nonsense. Anger can be a great motivator. The main thing is to focus on learning how to wield the force.
                          My mouth is like a magician's hat, never know what might come out of it.

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