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anyone with kids out there?

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  • anyone with kids out there?

    So I have a question for anyone out there with kids....when u were or thinking about getting pregnant did you ever have a worry in your mind that due to your injury you may pass away and not be around to enjoy there life and leave your spouse with a child....I know it sounds weird but I don't want to have a kid and not be around for them.

  • #2
    Nope!
    Andrew

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    • #3
      I don't have any yet but I will. I only worry about my disability physically getting in the way, that's it. Fact is, anyone could pass away unexpectantly & young, sci or not. Some members here have but there's quite a few old fogies too. I just hope to be one one day too.

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      • #4
        No, I guess my only concern was getting her pregnant in the first place. Then I had to pay someone to do it....but at least I got to watch.
        Stupidity ain't illegal, but it sure is inconvenient.


        Help me support the 2010 Bike MS.

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        • #5
          what do you mean you pay someone to do it???

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          • #6
            That is the sort of thing that would bother any parent disabled or not. My wife worries about that more than I do (our kids are 20 & 15), and now we have grandkids to worry about. Just make sure you have life insurance and wills and all that sort of responsible stuff.

            Everybody is going to die sometime!

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            • #7
              My hubby and I do not have a child together because of his chronic pain and how it affects our life- financially, emotionally etc. I would of loved to have had a child with him but he and I agreed it is best for us both to not as we think it would of been to hard. At times though, I have really regretted and missed this in my life. I've re-visted the subject and we take a look at it over again and decide, yes, we made the right decision to not.

              I have two children (ages now 21 and 17) from a previous marriage, he has been there for the last 12 yrs helping me raise them.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by mv740 View Post
                what do you mean you pay someone to do it???
                He means inseminate.

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                • #9
                  I worried about that as an AB. I have three sons (17 year old injured in '07) and worried about it with each pregnancy. Life moves on, don't let fear rule your world. If it's a big concern, do what you can to minimize the impact should something happen (everyone with kids should do that) -- be sure to have a will and life insurance.
                  Having kids is the greatest thing in my life. Don't miss the opportunity if it's something you want.
                  Ugh, I've been kissed by a dog!
                  Get some hot water, get some iodine ...
                  -- Lucy VanPelt

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                  • #10
                    as you know too well anything can happen in life. if you want kids then go for it. i could easily have a car accident tomorrow or be diagnosed with cancer just as easily as i could live to 100. none of us has a crystal ball so don't let that fear stop you.

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                    • #11
                      I have a now two year old and use a manual wheelchair (TiLite ZRA) in a few months you could try this: http://www.leapsandbounds.com/catalo...mSource=Search

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                      • #12
                        This thread really spoke to me because as a young couple (I am 25 and my fiance is 27 years old - he is a complete para) the idea of whether we can or should have kids anymore seems really up in the air. Its just another question mark since his accident.

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                        • #13
                          I didn't plan to get pregnant the two first times. Like most people I was married and suddenly I was pregant like everybody else, SCI or not, so my oldest is 28 and the next 25. At that time they did not give people with SCI birth control with hormones.

                          The small one is made with ICSI, different father and he had bad sperm and I had cut the tube after the second. LOL, I am not to fond of children, I wasn't sure if I wanted and now I have three.
                          TH 12, 43 years post

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                          • #14
                            I have had Dermatomyositis (a muscle weakening illness) since I was 15. I had a serendipity pregnancy and raised my son mostly alone. Some things had to be adapted - I couldn't chase him, so he wore one of those kid leashes (first a harness, then when he was old enough to understand, a wrist wrap). In stores, he was taught that if he wanted to walk, he had to keep one hand on the cart at all times. I couldn't play actively with him, so we'd fly kites together instead. Honestly, I don't think he ever noticed those
                            were disability accommodations.

                            Today he is 24 and I am happy to say that he is just as comfortable around people using wheels as he is around pedestrians. It's just life as usual to him.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by woman from Europe View Post
                              I am not to fond of children, I wasn't sure if I wanted and now I have three.
                              Well, that's an opinion like any other ... but I truly hope none of your kids know about it.

                              I don't have any children (yet). I would like to change that some day, but so far I haven't come across the kind of person I would want to be the father of my children, and well ... whatever else you might want to say about being disabled, there's definitely nothing attractive to it.

                              So if it ever happens -- if I ever come across someone who can love me exactly the way I am, and whom I can love back -- I'll be ecstatic, and yeah, children will most likely be in my future. But if it never happens, I think I can be happy that way too.

                              To all of you who do have someone you love and who loves you, but are debating whether or not to have children, I want to tell you not to let whatever physical limitations you have stand in your way. Good parenting, beyond the first three years or so, is mostly a question of mind over matter. If the love and the motivation are there, the rest will eventually work itself out somehow. If they're not, though ... you're screwed, and so are your kids.

                              I was born to a teenage mom, who dropped out of college to raise me, and a father who literally told her I was her child, not his, when it became clear that my brain had a manufacturing defect (the consequences of which are also known as cerebral palsy). Despite the fact that my mother did a pretty decent job under the circumstances, I wouldn't wish my childhood on anyone. So my advice to all prospective parents would be: look before you leap.

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