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Motivation for Son???

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    Shaun--HA if only I could!!!

    HISAMSMITH--Thanks Dr. A and Sarah may do the trick. Sarah is trying to get him to do suba. He is going to go to their camp this summer!

    Carl thanks for the suggestion. He has met with the pyschologist at shriners many times. . .we'll keep trying.


      Originally posted by snolte:

      Carl thanks for the suggestion. He has met with the pyschologist at shriners many times. . .we'll keep trying.
      It might be a good idea for you to go as a family or for you to get some ideas directly from the psychologist. Find something that will motivate him - and it might be a visit to a UofI w/c basketball game. Also, you have plenty of time - I was going to suggest that he repeat the grade since he missed part except that would put him in his younger brother's class. How would that sit with him - or motivate him?
      Just an idea,


        My son, Lucas, went to K-State for architecture before his injury. Also KU is a good school, but it doesnt' have the full program for accreditation, like K-State. I know that states that have reciprocal tuition programs will allow in-state tuition for architecture.
        My son was inured 7/9/04. He is D-5 to T-1 incomnplete. His therapist registers his disabiltiy at about T-3 or 4. He feels pretty sure Lucas can walk, functionally. He's 20 years old and this has been quite a blow to him as well as to us. His name is Lucas Richardson and you can reach him at my e-mail ( Contact with architecture people would be good.
        Originally posted by Amanda:

        Patrick- architecture! I'm getting my associates degree in CAD and hope to find a good school to pursue architecture when I get done with that. where did you go to school?

        snolte-I'll echo everyone else in saying...he's a teenager!!! he sounds EXACTLY like my brother at that age. and he didn't have the chair as a factor in his attitude. to me it seems like the bowel program stuff will fall into place. it is still early after his injury. this is all new. he'll snap into gear the first time he has an accident because 'he didn't feel like bothering with that s@*%'. lol, literally. [img]/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif[/img]
        to me the best thing to do would be sit down and get his undivided attention. don't make it like a punishment, structured conversation. but, just tell him your thoughts. that you, and the rest of the fam, were more than willing to help out in his time of need directly after his SCI. but, that he is a big boy and needs to take care of his basic needs as a human. this includes bowel care, which is no fun but you gotta do it. getting him involved in some type of sport or physical activity sounds like it may be very rewarding to him, in multiple ways. if he was an active guy before the chair, I'm sure that interest and drive is still there. I, myself, am searching for such an activity that I can be passionate about as well as benefit physically from. give him time...but, still but a lil fire under his butt.

        ok now that I've gone on and on like I know what I'm talking about! [img]/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

        " The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
        - Alan Kay


          I also lived for sports, esp football when I got hurt at age 17. Also T12.

          Listen - Your son's injury is very recent. It takes people a while to physically adjust to such a big change, but it takes even longer to MENTALLY adjust. I guarantee he's in the depths of depression right now -- and that's totally OK, totally normal for such an adjustment. I just COULDN'T make myself try any sport or physical activity for more than a year. I used love competition and was pretty used to being really good at whatever I tried. All of a sudden *whammo* and I can only sit and watch my friends go off to the ballpark without me. Some of 'em tried to keep me involved somehow, but I was terrified. What if I fell in front of everyone? What if I hurt myself? What if I had a BM on the basketball court?

          I agree with earlier posts - sports are a great way to get feeling better about yourself, your abilities, get that 'team' feeling again... eventually. Give the guy some time. Be understanding and available, but also give him his space. Sounds like, when he actually puts his mind to something (upstairs Xbox), he is a real go-getter! He'll let you know when he's ready to get out there and try something.

          Don't worry - eventually I got motivated. Went to college. Met a girl. Got active in a couple of sports. Fell in love with skiing. Moved to Manhattan. Met another girl. Got a good job... and today I feel like SCI is just a little part of my life, as opposed to that first year where it was totally in control of my life. If he (or you) would like to talk to someone about what the future may hold, feel free to get in touch with me (