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Motivation for Son???

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    Thank you patrick,

    Congratulations on your graduation.


    I appreciate your words very much. His dad is in the picture but very reserved.

    Well, yesterday when i got home from work his brother was walking out of the bathroom with the plunger and he was in the shower. Hum, I thought. . .that usually means that he had a BM. I asked him if he did his own bowel program and he said yes. (So Bethany you were right!!!)

    He also got himself to therapy and was in a rather chipper mood.

    Thanks all.


      Snolte: I'm sorry, I don't have much in the way of motivation, I wanted, instead, to introduce myself. My son is 17 and was injured on 8/14/04, also mva. He's also a T12 complete. I was amazed at the differences in indepence levels and the therapy your son received. We have some of the same low motivation issues (not all are new since the accident) but my son is less and less willing to go out and becoming more isolated. He's still wearing his brace, also. Probably for another month. He does is own bowel program (not being very successful there: what does your son do? we could use some help here!!), but doesn't dress himself, prepare food, etc. None of the therapy he's been to has taught him any life-skills or "fun" things (basket ball, racing, etc.). He's been mostly stuck with old people or in the hospital.
      My son's name is Kevin.


        Snolte, BeeBee,
        I don't know where your sons are in high school, but the football player academically underachieving teenager would accurately describe my son, a really neat kid, but football or athletics were all that he was interested in. He is a senior in high school, C 6-7 Asia injured May 26, 2002. He has been in the program since June 2004

        Please check the website Contact some of the folks there to see what they are doing now. I would be glad to visit about the program, sports, schools and living in the area.



          My son Dack, started out on two Senna Tablets on days of Bowel Program and one Doclace every morning. Every three days he'd transfer to the toilet and used an Enemeez. Some times I'd have to do manual removal to get it started.

          Now, he's stopped the meds and still goes every three days or when he can tell when he has to go. Still has to digistim every once in a while. He does eat alot of frosted shredded wheat. The Physical Therapy 3x a week really helps.

          He has a group of friends that have kept him going. Our house is like a hotel on the weekends. They have been really good about coming and picking him up and going to the movies or whatever.

          Is you son currently in Physical Therapy?What part of the country are you from?

          He was taught an awful lot at Shriner's. I really had to learn when to back off and sit on my hands.


            Patrick- architecture! I'm getting my associates degree in CAD and hope to find a good school to pursue architecture when I get done with that. where did you go to school?

            snolte-I'll echo everyone else in saying...he's a teenager!!! he sounds EXACTLY like my brother at that age. and he didn't have the chair as a factor in his attitude. to me it seems like the bowel program stuff will fall into place. it is still early after his injury. this is all new. he'll snap into gear the first time he has an accident because 'he didn't feel like bothering with that s@*%'. lol, literally. [img]/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif[/img]
            to me the best thing to do would be sit down and get his undivided attention. don't make it like a punishment, structured conversation. but, just tell him your thoughts. that you, and the rest of the fam, were more than willing to help out in his time of need directly after his SCI. but, that he is a big boy and needs to take care of his basic needs as a human. this includes bowel care, which is no fun but you gotta do it. getting him involved in some type of sport or physical activity sounds like it may be very rewarding to him, in multiple ways. if he was an active guy before the chair, I'm sure that interest and drive is still there. I, myself, am searching for such an activity that I can be passionate about as well as benefit physically from. give him time...but, still but a lil fire under his butt.

            ok now that I've gone on and on like I know what I'm talking about! [img]/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

            " The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
            - Alan Kay

            "The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
            - Alan Kay


              Snolte: We are in the Detroit, Michigan area. He was in Indianpolis when the accident happened. He's currently attempting therapy, but I'm not impressed with the program or the therapist. 2 days a week, and it seems like one day gets cancelled every week. [img]/forum/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]. We're hoping to get hime into the Rehab Institute of MI very soon. There's a waiting list. His PT has been very disjointed due to complications, transfers and surgeries. I can really see that this hasn't gone well and we were steered wrongly to a poor facitilty for in In-patient work.

              His friends were great for a while, but have kind of slowed down. For a long time I never knew who would be there and it was like a hotel lobby. Now just his gf comes by and sometimes takes him out. He's not driving again, yet.

              I think part of his problem is the bowel program. He just can't get it right. He goes all day [img]/forum/images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]. I'm going to print out your response and give it to him. But he just keeps going and going and going (like that damn bunny....?) At least 3 times every day. He told me last night he was going to stop doing his program [img]/forum/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img], so I responded that when he stopped trying was when I stopped cleaning him up. I never pictured changing a 17 year old's diaper. He takes 2 Senekots every night and does dig-stem in the AM. What's Doclace? And how does he know when he needs to go?

              The Mom: Thanks for the web-site. I took a quick look and will do a better one when I have more time (I'm at work). Yes, my son was into sports. He was working out to pay for his senior year and wanted to coach FB at a highschool level after college.
              He rejects any idea of wheelchair atheletics. Maybe because he's never been exposed to any? But he won't even consider it.



                COLACE/Doclace is a stool softner.

                Now he just takes Vitamins E, C and 2 Cranberry tablets a day.

                He says, he feels full. It's the same with his bladder.

                I really think the PT helps his bowels. He is in a standing frame 2x for 20-25 mins each time.

                Is Kevin using a standing frame?

                One of the most frustrating things is that we are still waiting on his wc and a standing frame for home.

                Besides PT 2x a day 6 days a week at Shriners, he also had OT sometimes 2 a day (They would come in the morning and show him how to shower, get dressed etc. and in the afternoon work on skills such as cooking) While in OT he made the therapist and I grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. He also made muffins another day and then took them down to the nurses station. From them on he was known as the muffin man. Ha!


                  If he's going all day I would reconsider those Senokots. You should post in Care to see what scinurse recommends.

                  If your skin is thin, best keep it off the Internet-Betheny
                  Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?


                    Actually, he was going all day without the Senekot, and that's why we started them. Hoping it would make it more predictable. Hasn't happened. Nothing he's tried so far has helped.


                      My son Jordan was injured Sept 28th, 2002
                      GSW, the bullet severed his chord at the T5 level. He was 17 at the time.
                      It has been almost 3 years and believe me we still have our issues about taking pills, working out and just finding some meaning and set some goals. Jordan is often angry and has no much of a positive outlook on life.
                      As a mother I can honestly say that I have done everyting possible for him to make it easier. But as the saying goes " you can lead a horse to the water.." I have come to realize that the more I nag the more he resents the fact that he is paralized. So I have stopped.
                      We are very close and we talk a lot about stuff, but ultimately it is him who has to come to terms with all this and make a life for him self. I think that goes for everyone whit sci.
                      Of course I find that the younger they are the harder it is.
                      Hope this helps.
                      My mouth is like a magician's hat, never know what might come out of it.


                        Well, things did improve for a while. However, his grades have slipped even more and I spent all last week on the phone with teachers. Part of his problem is missing school and not making up the homework. I think we have it figured out now. We'll see. . .

                        Last Tuesday he again refused to go to school. So I took away his vehicle, grounded him and took the xbox and put it upstairs in my bedroom. . .

                        . . .when I got home from work, there he was playing xbox!!!! He butt scooted up the stairs, took a nap on my bed and then butt scooted down with the xbox!!!!

                        Now the xbox goes in the trunk of my car!!!!!


                          Theres nothing more motivating than a good swift kick in the azz...will,maybe the motivator standing behind one with a Bullwhip or other such type whippin apparatus [img]/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

                          When i was 16 i could of used a few good kicks in the azz,even now it would be helpful to get me motivated from time to time..Good luck..

                          ~~I went to heaven,but couldnt get in for what i had done.I said ''please take me'',they said your crazy,you had to much fun~~



                            First off, Shriner's Hospital in Chicago is great! I had all of my post injury SCI care there from 7 to 21 years of age. If nothing else you could always sic Caroline Anderson or Sarah Klasse on your son it always scared me straight for a few weeks.

                            I had a lot of your son's problems when I was in high school. I couldn't care less about my grades, refused to do homework, and only cared about my friends, dating, movies, music and parties. The only thing that worked was my parents leaving me alone. Since I had no control over any part of my life other than school, I chose to go againist what everyone wanted me to do. But once my parents stepped away from my school life I suddenly started getting As and Bs instead of Ds.


                              I would suggest getting some professional help from someone at Shriner's about this. My son was 13 and was at Kessler and they had both a psychologist on staff as well as social workers. Of course, he used to complain to them about my wife and I, but there is nothing like a little help. They might remember your son and they certainly should be knowledgeable about SCI which is very important. Since we don't know your family or your son it makes it tougher to suggest the carrot or the stick. I hope this helps.
                              Hang in there,


                                Go for wheelchair basketball!!! I loved it when I was younger and building them etc. I had to do something after SCI even worked in the wheelchair repair shop at SSC with Tommy. He was a mentor to me and I respect him to this day for the life lessons he taught me in dealing with SCI. SCI effects the "whole" family so it is his responsibility to move on. Moms and Dads are not always going to be there.One motivating thing was a young girl maybe 3 or 4 who did PT with me at SSC - she lost he Mom and Dad in a plane crash yet she never complained, it was very motivating for me to see her smile. Maybe he needs to help someone to make him feel needed not as a burden.