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Does your mom or anyone else call you daily to make sure you didn't fall out of your chair...

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    Does your mom or anyone else call you daily to make sure you didn't fall out of your chair...

    ...or do they call to make sure <insert life-threatening event here> didn't happen? I swear, if I don't call my mom at least every other day she starts calling me. And if I don't answer right away, she starts freaking out, thinking I'm lying dead on my apartment floor or something [img]/forum/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

    Geez!
    May the fetus you save be gay

    #2
    awwww, she luvs ya.

    Time to ride not roll
    A good friend is someone who will come to bail you out of jail. A TRUE friend is the guy sitting next to you behind the same set of bars saying, "boy we sure f*cked up this time huh?"

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      #3
      Yeah, my mom worries if we don't talk every day. I don't even live alone!

      "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow"
      ~ Anon
      <a href="http://www.tickercentral.com"><img border="0" src="http://www.tickercentral.com/view/1u3/1"></a>
      Emily, C-8 sensory incomplete mom to a 8 year old and a preschooler. TEN! years post.

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        #4
        my bf lives with me, but my mom is still a worry wart. i think she must concoct some crazy ideas in her head about what might happen to me while she drinks her coffee every morning. she has waaaaay too much time on her hands. if i die, i die. no need stressing about it or how to prevent it.

        i always have my cell phone on me and when i'm in bed alone, i have both my cell and my land line just in case. i know she'd love it if i got one of those "i'm falling and i can't get up" buttons. i just won't bring myself to do that.
        May the fetus you save be gay

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          #5
          I go through the same thing w/ my mom. But it's gotten to the point that if she doesn't see me in two days she gets upset. I love her to death, but I could go w/out seeing her that much. But how do I go about getting my freedom back and not hurting her feelings?
          Niese

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            #6
            Theo:

            Whenever I get a cold, the flu...etc...my entire family comes over and does what I refer to as, "Death watch." They all come and talk to me in private and tell me how much they love me...I feel like I they are all waiting for me to die sometimes or the automatically assume that this time is the end....Drives me UP A WALL!

            jenn

            "Be ashamed to die until you have done something small for humanity." Horace Mann
            "Be ashamed to die until you have done something small for humanity." Horace Mann

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              #7
              niese, yeah...i dont know how to break awy w/o hurting her feelings too. it's really a tough thing. *shakes her head exasperatedly*

              jennifer, whoa that's really crazy! lol tell them if theyre that worried that should buy you jewelry and trips 'n stuff [img]/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif[/img]
              May the fetus you save be gay

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                #8
                Wow, I hope I'm never like that! If I am, I hope my kids say, "Mom. We're grownups. Deal with it." I'd probably feel crabby for awhile, but I'd rather know I was being annoying than not. Do your moms do your other sibs this way, or is it just because of the injury?

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                  #9
                  Theo,
                  I bet that if your mumsie stopped calling you , you would turn into your mother and call her. And then you would be the worry wart.
                  JimmyMack
                  JimmyMack
                  Member: New Jersey Commission on Spinal Cord Reasearch
                  http://www.state.nj.us/health/spinalcord/index.shtml

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                    #10
                    Maybe I can answer from a 'mom' point of view, then I'll run and hide under my rock!

                    This whole thing for us as parents, is without a doubt the hardest thing WE'VE had to do in our role as parents. Wise has often said that he feels parents suffer more than their children; that the children with SCI are able to 'move on', but that parents' hearts remain broken.

                    He's right. In our hearts, we just can't accept that we can't 'fix' this; we're the ones who put bandaids on cuts, sat through shots at the doc's office, and all the other myriad things that go with being a parent. It tears us up that we can't 'fix' this for you guys, our kids.

                    Add to that our own 'trauma' experiences surrounding whatever the SCI event was - the sound of an ambulance (we still, wheneve we're out w/out Matt and see an ambulance going in the direction of our house, have to stop ourselves from calling home to 'make sure'); a cough or sneeze (having seen my son choke on a mucous plug); a loud noise from the direction of his room - all of this makes us 'basket cases' from a 'post -traumatic stress' point of view.

                    I've had to learn NOT to jump every time I hear a loud noise; NOT to take a 'visual onceover' everytime I see a sneeze or cough; and sometimes, in spite of myself, I still do it! Just comes with the territory.

                    Matt and I have had long talks about me backing off, and his promises that he will let me know if anything other than 'normal' events happen. It's helped to smooth out my instincts some, but they're still there!

                    I don't know what advice I'd give to you all, other than to just talk it out with your parents; and remember, that even parents with AB children worry!

                    Hope maybe this provides some perspective for the 'other side of the fence'.

                    You are all wonderful, independent, productive young adults - but we're still mom and dad!

                    _____________
                    If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. - Mother Teresa
                    _____________

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                      #11
                      Is that why so many parents pretend it never happened and they never help out with anything. My parents never showed that they care and never took any special care of me and after 35 years they still behave the same way. And that was from the first day.

                      TH 12 incomplete 12-12-69.
                      TH 12, 43 years post

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                        #12
                        Marm .... this ones for you {{{{{{HUG}}}}}}
                        Theo ... perhaps it will all become clear to you someday when you're a Mom ... try to be patient ... we do better when we know better ... and sometimes we're just Moms (and Dads) forever ..

                        Obieone [img]/forum/images/smilies/cool.gif[/img]

                        P.S. WFE maybe for your folks - the pain of your losses was simply too overwhelming ... they just couldn't cope and now - its just "the way it is" ... looking back do you think it made you stronger in some way .. do you think ... in a sick sort of way .. they thought maybe by ignoring it - it would "help" you ... just trying to understand them I guess [img]/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif[/img] !!

                        [This message was edited by Obieone on 11-11-04 at 09:33 PM.]
                        ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


                        " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
                        Jane Siberry

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                          #13
                          I wish I had a mom or dad still alive to love me again. Losing my mom was as bad as the thing I can't do now that I am sci.
                          But, I'm glad that mom is not alive to see me in a chair.
                          Don't want this to be depressing cause I'm OK.

                          WFE, When I got hurt my family was so helpful.
                          But when my law-suit money came in they borrowed, needed or thought I owed so now few come around. Especially the ones that borrowed.
                          I want to Rock you Gypsy soul and together we will flow into the Mystic.
                          Van Morrison

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                            #14
                            yup....and I'm grateful she does....although after I was first hurt I hated her for being so protective! LOL!

                            *Join a Movement*
                            Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

                            I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Obieone:

                              P.S. WFE maybe for your folks - the pain of your losses was simply too overwhelming ... they just couldn't cope
                              Words can hurt so bad and leave emotional scars so much when you are rejected by your own blood; because "your suddenly not like you used to be". You often wonder if they ever think about how you feel because of their actions. What some of us have experienced is just so bizarre and has seemingly robbed some of life away. You often wonder which would be best, overbearing parents or parents that no longer can deal with you so you are locked away in an emotional prism.

                              TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF MY MOJO

                              [This message was edited by Lizbv on 11-16-04 at 04:46 PM.]

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