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    Loosing son to DHS

    My son's mother was turned into DHS in July for use of narcotics, pills. I have had no idea about what has been going on. She called this morning and spoke with my mom and told her what had been going and that I needed to be in court Sep. 3rd. I have no idea what I am going to do. I have another son that went to foster care when his mother went to prison and I haven't seen him in nearly a year, I'm not on the birth certificate so I have no visitation rights. I don't talk about it much because it's been a bad ordeal and I can't imagine loosing Avery too. I'va contacted the case worker and got his voicemail. I feel like i'm just going in circles talking about this because I really don't know what to do.

    -Chris
    Say what you mean and mean what you say because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind.

    My Myspace



    #2
    Do you have any visitation or custody rights now? There is often a Guardiam in Litem-appointed by the court to find the best home life for the child. I don't know a lot about this-sorry. Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and I hope that Avery can stay with you.

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      #3
      Yes I have visitation rights, probaly wouldn't have a hard time getting custody. The thing is my living situation, my mom doesn't want to raise my son(not in a bad way but she is very busy). He'll be 4 in Oct. and I think once he's alittle older it wouldn't be a big deal, but alot have changes will have to be made and I'm not sure if she's willing to commit to it right now. Ahhhh....
      Say what you mean and mean what you say because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind.

      My Myspace


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        #4
        Your mom doesn't have to raise him. YOU do. I'm not gonna say much b/c I'm afraid I'll sound judgmental and I don't want to be. But you are a grown man. You can raise your son. I don't blame your mom at all, but I think you and the lawyer you find in 10 minutes from now better step up to the plate.

        Let me know if I can help in anyway.
        Blog:
        Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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          #5
          Originally posted by betheny
          Your mom doesn't have to raise him. YOU do. I'm not gonna say much b/c I'm afraid I'll sound judgmental and I don't want to be. But you are a grown man. You can raise your son. I don't blame your mom at all, but I think you and the lawyer you find in 10 minutes from now better step up to the plate.

          Let me know if I can help in anyway.
          I'm aware of what I am capable of Betheny and at this stage I can't completely take care of him. Yes, there are alot of things I do right now during our weekends that I can do on a daily basis, but I would not be able to 100% fulfill the needs of a small child. Don't worry about being judgemental, call it how you see it.
          Say what you mean and mean what you say because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind.

          My Myspace


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            #6
            I understand your fear of not being capable of caring for a young boy alone. I have the same fear when I am left alone with my young grandsons, and I only do it for an hour or two, a few times a year.

            Is your son already in the hands of DHS?
            If he gets taken from his mommy and you, will you still have visitation?

            You seem to be a caring man. That picture in your profile of you and your boy is stunning! Are you still in school?

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              #7
              No, he is not out of her custody. It's weird, she can only be around the kids when she is supervised by her fiancee. Court is Sep. 3rd. I can't imagine him being taken, my mom and I are going to discuss this more once we have talked to the lawyer and the case worker.

              I am still in school, started last week. 16 hrs.
              Say what you mean and mean what you say because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind.

              My Myspace


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                #8
                Best of luck man.
                Be yourself!!!
                http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/vandamnwcbb/
                BMF Sports & LiftWithoutLimits
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                  #9
                  I echo Geno.

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                    #10
                    are you sure you can't care for him? 4 yr olds are very helpful. mine was 4 when he first helped me out of a hotel bed where we were snowed in. i bet you'd find you could handle him just fine.

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                      #11
                      I was thinking the same. But I am an incomplete para so I was afraid to write it. But I have three children and have raised them alone and I know tetraplegic mothers here who is doing fine with two small children
                      TH 12, 43 years post

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                        #12
                        I hope this little boy doesn't lose both parents, because he might be confronting you both at some point with 'why'. That would be tough to answer.

                        What a tough situation to be in. I wish you luck with whatever you decide. Could/would your brother help you out or cousins?
                        Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                        T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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                          #13
                          Since he is not with hos mother, can you visit him now? (I assume he is in foster care?) He must be very confused.
                          T7-8 since Feb 2005

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by cass
                            are you sure you can't care for him? 4 yr olds are very helpful. mine was 4 when he first helped me out of a hotel bed where we were snowed in. i bet you'd find you could handle him just fine.
                            Chris, this is really upsetting to me, you must be distraught. Please consider what Cass is saying here. She truly knows what she is talking of. I know Leo has single-parented a lot

                            I thnk you need to make some lists.
                            Please don't let fear make decisions you may all regret forever.
                            Blog:
                            Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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                              #15
                              Jeez, that would tear me to pieces. I know you'd be capable of caring for him, I dunno how you'd prove it to a judge though. Good luck.
                              www.worldonwheels.ca

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