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  • Brother's g/f rant........................

    Ok, so here is a rant because I can't yell at the person I want to right now. So if you don't know, my brothers g/f stayed with us for a week. She is also a very manipulative person. Anyway, the whole family was invited to her graduation party from high school. I was not going to go for numerous reasons but went for my brother. You know the whole he's my brother and he likes her bs. So I waste almost a half a tank of gas driving to her dad's house and back. I was there for a good three hours. Her dad's house was not accessible so I had to sit out in the sun the whole three hours. None of her dad's friends even came over to introduce themselves. I would have gone and said hi but the patio was not big enough to manuver and not know things over. So for three hours I stayed in the corner of the patio. The only people that I knew at the party was my bro, his g/f, my parents, and my other little brother. My parents went off somewhere to talk to other people, my bro and his g/f left the party totally for about two hours. Me and my other brother were just sitting there looking at each other. Anyway, this was about four weeks ago. I find out tonight that the next day the g/f calls and wants to know why I was so rude. EXCUSSE ME? I said good bye when I was leaving I said congrats even though I didn't mean it. How am I rude for leaving a party that I was miserable at for many reasons? I want to say something to her but I don't want to sink to her level. However, I think I should let her know that I am very disappointed that she would even suggest that I was the one who was being rude when she knew I wouldn't know anyone, wouldn't be able to manuver to even get in the house, etc. And what really ticks me off is the fact that she has asked me to do crap for her since then. I just want to smack her upside the head a few dozen times and shake some reality into her.

    Ok, I think I'm done. No replies needed...................................

    Becky,
    Chicago
    T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
    since 1/3/04

    I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

  • #2
    Wow Becky you've got a temper girl! It can work for you or against you.

    I find with family things, they're never going to understand, so I just smile and play nice until it's time to go home - even when it's not accessible which would happen a lot. After I moved out of the family home, I put 'my foot down' and announced I wouldn't be attending anywhere which wasn't accessible. I've pretty much stuck to that with the exception of my sister who bought a new home a couple of years ago (her former home had a ramp and bathroom).

    Things were so much better after I moved out on my own - started with friends - one male and one female. It's too bad you can't get a gaggle of friends (male/female) together to rent a place together. Something to get out of that house.

    I hope I didn't annoy you by replying.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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    • #3
      No of course you didn't annoy me by replying. I just wanted to make sure people who really didn't want to reply didn't feel that they needed to.

      As for my temper, yes I can have one. I don't like to show it though. I usually keep it in check. However, this girl really rubs me the wrong way if you can't tell, lol. I did refrain from any profanity though. That should count for something. I wouldn't be so pissed if she had said something to me instead of my 15yr old brother. I mean, what is he going to do about it?

      I know once I move out it will be so much easier to say no to things. I just felt that I should go more for my brother obviously. But he didn't even seem appreciative that I spent the gas money and time when I could have been doing something else.

      Becky,
      Chicago
      T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
      since 1/3/04

      I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

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      • #4
        I think we all have experiences of social hell......being stuck in a corner, not able to move or socialise well. Did your brother tell you that she thought you were being rude, if so its kinda poor form on his part as it serves no purpose other than to upset you.

        I would say she has probably picked up on your vibes of dislike of her....just hope she doesnt become your sister in law!

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        • #5
          Families need to be more understanding of what crap the wheelchair user goes thru on a daily basis and cut you all a little slack! My daughter just graduated high school and told her brother that he did not need to attend the ceremony because she knew what a hassle it was going to be: hot, boring and long! My son wanted to go anyway and he did and it was a huge hassle but he was glad he went. We always give him an "out" if he wants it.

          Becky, your bother's gf is immature and needs to be head slapped! I would be more disappointed in your brother for not having your back.

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          • #6
            Geeze, what the hell did she want you to do? I have been in similar situations, sitting in a corner of an inaccessible space and counting the moments till I think I can leave without it being too obvious that I am chomping at the bit to get the hell out of there. Yeah, a smack on the side of the head for the g/f sounds about right to me.

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            • #7
              Becky they're both very young, just let it go over your head they'll split up before you know it.

              ..........and yes it does stink when you get sidelined at a party because you can't move but it could have been worse her boring, lecherous old uncle could have sat next to you!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Timaru
                Becky they're both very young, just let it go over your head they'll split up before you know it.

                ..........and yes it does stink when you get sidelined at a party because you can't move but it could have been worse her boring, lecherous old uncle could have sat next to you!
                LOL, very true!!!!! I don't really care that I was stuck at the party. I am more annoyed about the fact that she thought I was rude for leaving after a sufficient amount of time. I wish they would break up. They have been together for over three years. God, I hope he doesn't marry her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                Becky,
                Chicago
                T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
                since 1/3/04

                I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Timaru
                  but it could have been worse her boring, lecherous old uncle could have sat next to you!
                  ...are you speaking from experience?
                  C5/6 incomplete

                  "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by RehabRhino
                    ...are you speaking from experience?
                    ............moi?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Sup

                      BC

                      No one puts Baby in the corner.

                      Name the movie and then you can laugh.
                      Feelin good is good enough!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by GoBig
                        BC

                        No one puts Baby in the corner.

                        Name the movie and then you can laugh.
                        Too easy...Dirty Dancing.
                        lol
                        Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--Mary Kay Ash

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                        • #13
                          i have left going out places which are inaccessiable..let it be my most closest relative function..i m adult now..25...i never compromise and welcome trouble..bcos we only know how we feels when v r kept waiting or sitting alone like a looser ! and waiting for someone to come..that sucks from bottom of my heart and mind..only choicest person around me get my visit for their functions..n so they feel great and obliged whenever i visit...lolz...u need not take trouble to please or happy them..visit only whenever u r invited thrice or twice.,and ask that gal to know manners of being good host..it was her duty to introduce u to another,.,u were special guest no doubt..
                          ChemistOnline.in

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                          • #14
                            This is a battle you just can't win. I have been in a chair 38 years and my wife is a chair user. She is very close to her 4 sisters but over the years they have bought and sold houses but only one added a ramp. When we go to functions at their houses we haul a big ramp which unfolds to about 5 feet and sometimes brothers-in-laws and now their kids have to add pieces of plywood, etc. to extend the ramp to make it long enough to get into the house. Once inside, there are additional barriers to contend with. This is despite the fact that they love my wife dearly, in part I think their oblivious attitude is related to the fact that my wife grew up in a chair in a different era. From childhood, her sisters pushed her chair and helped her get up steps, etc.

                            Recently we had a family party/barbecue for all the sisters, the one brother, their spouses, their kids, their kids kids, etc. Our house is entirely accessible even down to dropped cabinets/oven/stovetop, the whole nine yards. Once this huge herd of relatives got to our place however they started erecting architectural barriers everywhere. They moved the chairs, our furnituire, everything so we all could socialize, we both became so hemmed in we could not move at all. Just like we were at their houses. We looked at each other and smiled - you just have to enjoy your family (those that you can), for the most part they aren't going to get it but it doesn't mean they don't value you.

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