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Is This Going To Continue? Dr. Wise Your Opinion Please.

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  • Is This Going To Continue? Dr. Wise Your Opinion Please.

    Is this going to continue? At first they said I was T12 complete. Then I moved. Not complete. Yay! It started slow and the pace is nowhere near fast enough for me but I have made steady improvement. First the walker, then crutches, then cane. Now I am walking around the house unaided.
    How long will this continue? It's been a year since my accident. My motto has been from the beginning to push for everything, expect nothing, and rejoice in anything. I work my ass off in the gym, crutch hiking, biking, etc. Is this why I am recovering? Everyday I think I have a handle on this, I am reminded that I am still longing for my old life, which is not realistic,but my body gives me the feeling I can make it. Is this a healthy mentality. It seems nowadays my motto is push myself like crazy, expect everything, and rejoice in nothing. WTF?

  • #2
    Return of function often continues past 2 years. You should work your ass off to progress as much as you can.

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    • #3
      Wish I had answers for you. Other than doing the time, I know no better way to approach it. I'm sorry that you've lost the rejoicing, though. You've had amazing progress and come much further than anyone had expected. Since you're still fairly newly injured (by SCI standards at least), I'd think you'd have more return coming. I understand your wish to be back with your old capabilities. When you start getting into a rut with recovery, maybe it's time to shake things up a bit. Stand back a bit from your workouts and do some other fun things...a weekend away, maybe....something like that. Do something different and maybe the rejoicing will return to you. I certainly hope so.

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      • #4
        Thank you Truly- You are right. I need to step back sometimes. I'm not going off the deep end. It's just that I have lost my perspective a little. Kind of getting to me I guess.

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        • #5
          This may be an issue of the effect timing and SCI have on your mindset. I hit a rut too...9-11 happened about a yr post my sci and I think I got pretty depressed. Situational depression is real. So it follows that most of us hit this wall.

          I knew when it hurt more to walk than what it helped. I haven't gotten all feeble but I'm no longer a gymhulk. I realized when I went drinking w/ a bunch of ppl in chairs that I couldn't keep up w/out one. Walking into Walmart to ask for the electric cart didn't please me, I needed that w/chair.

          It becomes, at some point, Risk vs. Rate of Return. You'll know when. It's when walking is causing physical harm.

          And hope is just an innately good thing. I believe that.
          Blog:
          Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

          Comment


          • #6
            Truly is right, it's like a ratchet effect the recovery, you need a break, it gives you one. Than you can think, plan, and plot for a better tomorrow. I use them still, I'm still gaining 9 years last Thursday and plowing ahead with bigger, better, badder, and dumber days ahead. Hell, Ill try anything once, or 5-6 times if its worth doing eventually I just might get it right

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            • #7
              Thanks guys. Maybe it's the weather which leaves me with less of an outlet. I will get mt mojo back. It's really not my desire or effort that is lacking. It just seems that I am not able to get as happy about the little things like I used to. Now it seems if I am not doing cartwheels, I am not happy. I spent the entire day Sunday walking around my house unaided. I hadn't done that since 12/6/11. The day before my accident. Yet I just am not as stoked as I know I should be.
              "It's totally human of you listening to my bullshit" Molly Ringwald- Sixteen Candles

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              • #8
                The uncertainty is exhausting, and it is eating away at what I have left. Yes, it is an incredible privilege to be able to complain about this kind of stuff considering how close we were to having all questions of progress and potential answered within the first few weeks or months, but we are constantly stuck in that same early-injury mindset. The past 13 months have been marked by a constant forced optimism for more improvement, and an ever present battle for acceptance for where I am.

                Being stuck in those trenches for so long has led to its own sort of paralysis. Every day is a new opportunity to renew the anguish over whether or not I will be able to enjoy life as I once did. The remarkable recovery I have enjoyed only clarifies my deficiencies, giving me just enough of a taste of normalcy to remind me that I am not. This unrelenting churning is what gets to me the most.

                As I look back, the only times I have been happy were when I was distracted. Intensely distracted to the point that my condition didn't even come to mind and I am spared the relentless and impossible battle for both improvement and acceptance. I need to find that again.
                L2 incomplete with a pretty bad limp since 10/31/2011.

                Comment


                • #9
                  You will likely have seen the majority of your recovery at the two-year mark but it may continue beyond that point or stop short of it. As others have said, only time will tell. One thing that I have learned about SCI is that patience is essential when pursuing your potential. At times you may plateau for a while or even regress a bit but you keep moving on. On the other hand, stress is an enemy. Your system does not respond as well when you are under stress for prolonged periods. Do not let the SCI consume you. Take some time to participate in other aspects of life. Accomplishing increasingly demanding real world challenges validates your progress and can be a more meaningful reward than being able to lift a little heavier weight. Exercising does help to fire up the nervous system when possible and to get the most out of your recovery. Overdoing it can be counterproductive. Savor your recovery. Most of us can only wish for what you are experiencing.
                  You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @
                  http://www.rstce.pitt.edu/RSTCE_Reso...imb_Injury.pdf

                  See my personal webpage @
                  http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Shveddy- You hit the f'ing nail right on the head. Thank you. We should have a beer one day.

                    SCI55-I hear you. Stress may be the thing for me right now. Lots of stuff happening at work. I jumped back into work right away and even finished my last semester of college last spring. I totally get the gift I am receiving. It's the grind that just seems to have me. I'll shake it off.

                    Ssmashms- Standing on my back deck using the rails as suuport and my wife holding my knees locked is how it started for me. Stay at it.

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                    • #11
                      If you have a beer with Shveddy, I'm showing up, too. I completely understand what everyone has said about getting slapped with inabilities on a daily basis, even though we try to look past it. Happens to me all the time, more so when I'm in the AB world, trying hard to keep up. Expecting ourselves to be upbeat and positive all the time is unrealistic. We are still in various phases of grief.

                      Just another thought....I never had problems with the dark winter days until my accident. I was injured in late July and was in hospitals for several months. By the time I got out the days started shortening and I was in a major funk. It happened the following two years as well. Maybe you are feeling it more because of the season...or your recent 'anniversary'?

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                      • #12
                        Long nights and cold days have never been my happy time and there is almost no doubt that I was feeling it this morning. It's been unprecedentedly hard for me to deal with it this year, and I'm thinking that it is just because I am in an insane time of transition without anything specific to vie for my time and I don't have the same fun activities available to distract me. I'm at that stage where i really need to move on and find something specific to pursue, and I can not wait for this time of indecision to be over. Funk is quite apt at describing it. Does anyone have a job to offer

                        Beers are indeed in order. Mflounlacker, I haven't been to the southeast coast for a while but I've been in contact with high-fives adventures a bit to head out west and do some speed-flying, but maybe a plain old snowboarding trip would be more realistic. I know you were planning on heading out to Tahoe for a trip with them, when would that be?

                        Truly, a beer with you is less of a logistical challenge. But time is running out! For this year anyway. I'll be out of the country on another adventure in a few short weeks
                        L2 incomplete with a pretty bad limp since 10/31/2011.

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                        • #13
                          I think the trip has been switched top the East Coast. I am going to be talking to the gus on Monday. I am hoping to try to do a fundraiser for them. Not sure how yet.
                          At some point I will make it a mission to meet some of you folks in person. I have gotten more out of some of the conversations on this forum than in any other place. Period.
                          Work is over rated. Always has been.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            One thing I did not mention in my earlier post is that although my injury is complete and I did not have any neurological return, it was about 20 years post injury when I finally reached my functional peak. My remaining innervated muscles continued to strengthen. More importantly, I learned to use them more effectively. My stamina also continued to increase during that period. Early on I learned that persistence, practice and patience paid off in many ways. I also learned that gym exercises can help but real world activities strengthen muscles missed in the gym and places demands on combinations of muscles not addressed in gym activities. Sometimes seemingly necessary muscles are missing but often work arounds can be found. The bottom line is that SCIs often have more potential than they realize as newbies. To me anyone under 5 years post injury is a newbie.
                            You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @
                            http://www.rstce.pitt.edu/RSTCE_Reso...imb_Injury.pdf

                            See my personal webpage @
                            http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm coming up on two years post, and you know what, I pretty much stopped thinking about it. This is basically what I am going to get back, maybe a little more, or not, its really time to move on. I can wobble along with arm crutches, ride my hand cycle or really slow on my leg powered recumbent trike, but manly I live in a wheel chair, an thats that. Like SCI for 55 says, one learns about how to do stuff with this new life all the time, or at least for 20 years. I just figured out how to hop up a tall curb last week, and yesterday I got in the back of my very tall pickup, to get some stuff, and made it look ease. But basically this is it, its really time to stop thinking about it and just do what one can do, relax have a beer, chill out with some friends. I'm pretty sure that the sun will come up tomorrow, even if its a cloudy day.
                              T12L1 Incomplete Still here This is the place to be 58 years old

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