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What an asshole....

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    What an asshole....

    I bought the hoyer pool lift and I was all telling the PT right now about it and then Mike is all " I don't know why you got that, I won't use it. I will just have someone help me into the pool".. Should I try to cancel my order or is he being unreasonable?? His friends can't always be here to get him in the pool and it is hot here. He will change his attitude right you guys?

    ummmm, this is a tough one. based on all your other posts whereas Mike won't do his own care, etc., this will take more time and effort. i go into my brothers pool, but not often bc it's somewhat of a hassle... mostly bc i have to get back in my chair wet and drive home to change. you don't have that prob., but he may view it as a hassle altogether....? i hope not.. hard to suggest whether or not to get it based on his poor attitude in previous posts.. sorry i couldn't be of more help....

    Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

    If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia


      When he's cookin his ass off and the only option to get in the pool is to use the lift then he better be kissin your toes for ordering it. Mabey he's just feeling down about having to use a lift to get in the pool.


        Use it? Kick him into the pool and see how long he wants to stay there before lifted out.


          Did you discuss it with him before you bought it?
          C5/6 incomplete

          "I assume you all have guns and crack....."


            His attitude will change. And he'll thank you someday for buying it. Hang in there my friend ... you're certainly in a rough spot right now. (((( hugs )))
            Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager


              Originally posted by Leif
              Use it? Kick him into the pool and see how long he wants to stay there before lifted out.
              Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager


                You are going to burn out.
                Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12


                  Like someone said, did you talk it over with him before ordering that thing? That said, there is a certain level of not wanting all sort of mechanical 'assist' devices around to maintain some sort of normalcy. I kind of get the feeling he is against all sorts of handicapped things being applied to him.


                    Just get it


                      Cancel it. The lift is for Mike, right? He apparently didn't know it was coming. He's not an asshole or any other kind of hole for not wanting a piece of equipment. His body. His transfers. His call.

                      If he wants a pool lift later, he can order one.

                      Instead of asking us about whether or not to cancel an order, consider discussing it with your husband.


                        Slow down.

                        Worrying about the necessities only right now will allow you to not stress out, as welll as it will allow you to insure your kids and home are being taken care of too.

                        Really soon, your husband will be out of that aspen collar and way more mobile. I think many people don't realize how limiting those things are. You can't really move or see that well. For all you know, he'll have enough upper body strength to get into the pool by himself, and you'll have wasted your money. And you seriously don't even know if swimming is something he's going to find enjoyable, you know?
                        An administrator made me remove my signature.


                          He is bitching and complaining because it is 96 degrees here today. I have the A/C on, but he just sits in the house while we swim. I sort of discussed it with him, but not entirely. it would be nice for him to just swim with me and the kids which is the purpose of the lift. I don't want his f---en friends around everytime we wanna cool off!

                          Also, his PT, OT and nurse all agreed to order a hospital bed after they saw how he can't turn and have noticed stacked pillows under his legs for edema. Oh, they may have also notice all the luggage under my eyes. So after the PT just left, he said he will not accept the bed. So I guess I will keep waking up every 2 friggen hours in my comfortable new hospital bed and go over and turn him!!

                          You guys, I am burnt out and he has completely turned into a jerk. "Move my legs, help me turn, give me this, hand me that" No please or thank you EVER!!!! The home health team is tending to a quad in the area and I asked if they can hook me up with his wife. I need some moral support.

                          Oh wait, ok this is what I was going to say.... I just made him and his friend chicken, corn on the cob, potatoes and chili beans and after his plate is made, he asks me to get him a frying pan so he can cook an egg because "He doesn't feel like eating what I made"...... Can someone please crank call over here and tell him that I am online about ready to divorce his ungrateful ass!!


                            Im with mem on this one.....

                            I havent read many of your previous posts but I thought you were gunna be referring to the PT or something as an asshole.....not your husband

                            He's in rehab or just freshly out right? Just let him settle in for a while ya know.....Maybe he feels you are a little in his face and mothering, perhaps even smothering. He's probably not that interested in chilling in the pool right now or hydro-therapy for that matter.....yet.

                            I don't mean to come off crass and i know things are tough for you, but they're tough as hell for him and calling him an asshole just kinda struck me as, well......


                              A T-6 doesn't need a lift to get in and out of a ground pool.... one built into the ground that has a sturdy ladder bolted into the concrete. If it's an above ground pool then just let his friends pick him up and throw him in and fish him out.

                              He may need a little help getting in and out of a ground pool now since he's only a couple/few months post injury but in time he'll be able to do it with ease.

                              Send the Hoyer lift back and take the kids (and I'm not referring to Mike!) on a well deserved mini-vacation with the money saved and get away from him for awhile. He's laying it all on you and doesn't seem to show the least bit of appreciation. Leave him with a cell/cordless phone... if he gets in trouble he can call his friends or 911.

                              I won't say what's really on my mind but if I treated my girlfriend/wife the way he treats you she would have left me a lot sooner than she did. He fucked up and got paralyzed, not you.


                              He doesn't need a hospital bed. Just have his friends screw a big eye-hook (drill first) into a ceiling joist above your regular bed and attach a chain to it. Then "thread" the chain through a 12 - 18 inch piece of hollow galvanized tubing. Make a triangle outta the chain with a metal oval connecter (I forget what they're called) above the side of the bed that he sleeps on where he can reach it. Or does he take his half outta the middle? If a chain is too noisy then use some strong climbing rope.....but being considerate doesn't seem to be one of Mike's strong points... at least not now. He'll be able to move himself around and turn to his heart's content every five minutes if he wants to. But you may want to keep the hospital bed so you can sleep in it and maybe get some rest.
                              Last edited by bob clark; 7 Jun 2006, 7:15 PM. Reason: more info
                              "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria