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    #46
    Betheny

    THANKS BETH--U R MY GUARDIAN ANGEL.

    THANKS 2 THAT REPLY--I JUST REMEMBERED ITS TIME 4
    MY BILE PROGRAM . SEE GUYS, I TOLD YOU.

    BETH: WILL U MARRY ME?

    PLEASE SAY YES? WHY? BECAUSE I'LL NEVER FORGET ABOUT
    MY BILE PROGRAM EVER AGAIN .

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      #47
      Thanks so much everyone for all the somments and suggestions. I was just real fed up. He agreed to the hospital bed and it didn't really work out, it is too small to turn, at least for now. But hey, he did try it

      After I got off here, I went and took a much deserved nap Later the kids wok me and said dad wanted to go for pizza! Hooray, outta of the house for awhile! That was ok, we still wern't talking much if at all.

      Later last night, hmmmmmmmmm around 4am ish, Mike had one of his panic attacks so I helped him up and he proceeded to cray. It is alwys awful when he does that. He crys and keeps saying he feels horrible and doesn't want to live like this etc. We both cried, but it was good for us. After he was all setttled down again he told me he loved me and gave me a "thanks". I know he is grateful times are just rough right now.

      And now the pol lift, I can return it for $200. Damn.... The description on the website says "cement in sleeve/ surface mount so I am on the phone arguing that I should have been shipped the smt kit if it is in the description. I dunno, maybe I will return and eat $200 damn again!!!

      No more gadgets for awhile

      I still don't get how he would get into the pool with no leg movement and a concrete deck around the pool. I am sure it just takes time. I guess he will miss swimming this season without the lift...

      Today I am going to back off a little and I am also going to do some balances exercises and help Mike do the oxycycle (another one of my gadgets).

      Oh, and right now, I am going to leave my house messy and go into the bathroom and attempt to highlight my hair because he wants to go to the mall later!!! Hooray, another trip out!!

      Thanks again everyone

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        #48
        I'm confused...Did someone say we shouldn't call our husbands "asshole"? What about when they are????????
        i always thought it was a term of endearment from my wife..

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          #49
          CC..........doing stuff is key. I get depressed when I do nothing. Malls, parks, restaurants........they all seem weird at first but I used to feel alive just going to the shops when I'd moped round the house.

          My mood has changed MASSIVELY since I committed to moving into the city. I can't wait. A month ago I would have said I'd never be excited again but I am.
          C5/6 incomplete

          "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

          Comment


            #50
            Originally posted by ChopperChick

            I still don't get how he would get into the pool with no leg movement and a concrete deck around the pool. I am sure it just takes time. I guess he will miss swimming this season without the lift...
            Maybe Mike needs a little more time in PT to learn transfers. And to get the neck brace off. For him to get into the pool just take a cushion off of a chaise lounge or find a cushion about 3' x 5' and put it close to the pool next to his chair. Then he just needs to scoot up a bit on the wheelchair seat cushion to get past the wheels, leans over and puts his hand on the cushion or pad on the ground and kinda falls/kinda lifts himself down onto it. You may want to put a towel over the wheel just in case he rubs hard against it. From there he just scoots into the pool. He'll want someone (or perhaps two at first) there to spot him for awhile but really, it's not difficult to do a chair to floor transfer. Gravity. Now a floor to chair transfer is a lot harder and takes a lot of practice, balance and upper body strength.

            Or he can use the pool ladder to help him ease his way down onto the concrete, towel or cushion. Where there's a will there's a way. If his kid was drowning don't you think he'd figure out real quick how to get into pool?

            The first time I went swimming in a ground pool I was drunk. I just got a running (wheeling) start and popped a wheelie at the the pool edge and in I went. I went swimming and the chair got a washing. After that I just used the pool ladder to help me down onto the concrete (I think I had a towel laid down) and in I went. You don't need your legs to swim.

            In 6 months it'll be a totally different story for Mike if he gets on with some of his PT and practices his transfers. He's in the Twilight Zone now and all his emotions are coming to the fore knowing that being paralyzed is a permanent condition at least until they find a cure. And all the feelings of inadequacy..... sexual, physical, bodily functions etc. He looks in great shape physically so shouldn't have a problem getting around and doing stuff.

            Best wishes to you, Mike and family.

            And good luck returning the lift.
            "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

            Comment


              #51
              Re: What An Asshole

              Originally posted by ChopperChick
              I bought the hoyer pool lift and I was all telling the PT right now about it and then Mike is all " I don't know why you got that, I won't use it. I will just have someone help me into the pool".. Should I try to cancel my order or is he being unreasonable?? His friends can't always be here to get him in the pool and it is hot here. He will change his attitude right you guys?
              Tell him it's too bad he isn't a c3 quad. He'd do whatever ANYBODY and EVERYBODY said HE WILL DO, HOW THEY WANT TO DO IT, WHEN THEY WANT TO DO IT, and THE WAY THEY WANTED TO DO IT!!!

              [not that i wish this on him or anyone, nor do i feel this happens to most totally dependent care people, but maybe you can use it on him as a motivator. i always have respect to people wishes on care and technique and personal wishes]

              Girl, you are the WIFE, NOT! NOT! NOT! the 'primary' caregiver. You will end up resenting him and hating him and end up divorced and bitter.

              He needs to get on with his life, you with yours and together do things. Be a wife to him. Don't let your life (or his) revolve around his disability.

              Comment


                #52
                awesome about the nap, pizza, mall and highlights - you will feel and look better. Now.... just don't buy unhealthy food and you won't be tempted. Easier said than done. You do what you think is best in your situation - no one really understands totally what you are going through. You seem smart, use your instincts and do what you feel will work, will work towards goals and is right for your family. You can see that it is easy to burn out. Just rejuvenate as he heals. Soon enough he will be more independent and you will find yourself trying to fit into your "new role" of not being so involved with his every move. This is hard for sure, on everyone espcially your newly injured husband. Back off and watch him struggle because it is through his struggles he will find success a little step at a time.

                My 18 yrs SCI L-1 son just dives into the pool from his wheelchair... scared the crap out of the PT the 1st time he did this. Now it is routine....

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                  #53
                  Originally posted by flyfisher
                  My 18 yrs SCI L-1 son just dives into the pool from his wheelchair... scared the crap out of the PT the 1st time he did this. Now it is routine....
                  LOL! Classic! i've always wanted to try that, but i worried the chair would roll in after me!

                  CC, I'm glad things are looking up. I can only speak from my experience and even at my worst, i was not that rude to people. I'm T12 and i haul myself in and out of pools all the time... once the medical complications are dealt with, he really needs a good kick in the ass (one that he can feel!). Independence in a chair is still better than no independence at all, but again, i had great SCI role models and adjusted quickly 'figured i lost enough time already.

                  Comment


                    #54
                    SS, he would have awesome SCI role models if he would get off his pitying ass and get online. There are quite a few here that have changed their outlooks on their disability and how they go through their daily lives based on what they have learned here.
                    http://official-linerider.com/index.html

                    Comment


                      #55
                      Jadis - (last post)

                      Btw, love the new avatar...

                      Comment


                        #56
                        Chopper you are an outstanding woman and deserve a gold medal for sticking this out. For the first 2 years that i was out of rehab it was a roller coaster. There a a million things running through his head right now. It is hard to still feel like a man when you have to be handled like an invalid for something that used to be so simple ie....getting out of bed, going to the bathrooom, SLEEPING!!! WTF?!?!?! All I wanted was to be left alone, but also needed help at the same time. My fiance (wife now) and I had a tough time also, but it will get better. You are in for a lot of shouting and crying and it will go on for the rest of your lives or until there is a cure ;-). He has to know when he is making you miserable. He may be trying to scare you off for your own sake.(i tried that also, fortunately it did not work) When he acts up tell him off and get out of there....take a break....just go have a quite dinner or watch a movie without the hassle of accessibilty....you deserve it. Throw his ass in front of the computer and give him my email addy (jimbocase@aol.com) and get him on this website......it's just going to take time. I wish you the best of luck!

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                          #57
                          I'm with you. He needs to get off his butt. To get a good night rest consider this. I sleep [with fake sheepskin on top of it] on a alternating airmattress by Mason Medical [masonmedical.com] for the last 20 years and never turn. Do a froogle search for System 2000 Series II or System 2000 Series II - Adjustable pump. Might have to play with the keywords a bit? But, someone will have a decent price on it. Runs around $200-$300 I think.

                          Everything else.. hand it to him or tell him you try first. Do so after you put earplugs in and in front of him.

                          Remote

                          Comment


                            #58
                            Originally posted by Remote
                            I'm with you. He needs to get off his butt. To get a good night rest consider this. I sleep [with fake sheepskin on top of it] on a alternating airmattress by Mason Medical [masonmedical.com] for the last 20 years and never turn. Do a froogle search for System 2000 Series II or System 2000 Series II - Adjustable pump. Might have to play with the keywords a bit? But, someone will have a decent price on it. Runs around $200-$300 I think.

                            Remote
                            Ummmm you sure of those prices? I just got the cheepest double alternating air mattress, and it was $9700cdn. There are other pressure relieving mattresses, by Geomat, that are much cheaper $2700cdn.

                            Comment


                              #59
                              Not a mattress. It's a "overlay". Will try to upload a pic. Would never buy full matt.

                              Remote

                              Comment


                                #60
                                Originally posted by Jadis
                                SS, he would have awesome SCI role models if he would get off his pitying ass and get online. There are quite a few here that have changed their outlooks on their disability and how they go through their daily lives based on what they have learned here.
                                ~~~~~TRUTH~~~~~

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