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  • Introducing ourselves

    Hi to all CC members

    My boyfriend Brett and I have been a member on here for a while now but I must admit to only ever posting when I needed help with medication questions etc, I guess I didn't want to come over as being too forward, but thought it was time to bite the bullet so to speak and let ourselves be known to you all.

    Us in a nutshell:-
    Brett is C5-6 13yrs post (just gone) functions more at C7 though I think,his SCI is the result of a MVA, turning 41 soon.


    Me:- I am Brett's caregiver and have been since his injury, we have a PCA that comes 5 nights a fortnight to help us out also.
    We have a daugther that is 2 and a half conceived through IVF and are due this coming week with baby #2, btw I'm 37.

    I guess one of the main reasons I've finally found the courage to post is because I'm struggling with other people's expectations of me lately, I love my life and my family and love spending all my time with them, but I'm finding it frustrating when people (ie friends usually) don't get that I can't just drop things and go running to them, obviously I'm not going to go into detail with them what Brett's routine is on a daily basis and have no intention of doing so as its Brett's business, but sometimes I just want to explode and tell them"come and stay for 24hrs and you'll see where our time goes" but I know that will only make the friendships more strained and thats not what I want either.
    Its something since Brett's accident thats never been a problem but for some reason now its starting to get to me and I really don't know why.

    We socialise and spend a lot of time out and about but sometimes people expect more and I just don't get it.

    Anyway thats enough of my whinge, I hope that Brett and I can become part of your community, I love reading the boards because they make me feel like I'm not alone if that makes sense.

    If you got this far, thanks for reading and I look forward to getting to know you all and hopefully have a few laughs along the way.
    Cheers
    Lynne
    Girlfriend to Brett (c5-6) for the past 12 yrs, mum to Marli & Tayli

  • #2
    Welcome Lynne,
    You are in the right place and you are not whining. There are so many here who understand how you feel it is such a great community. I wish I had an easy answer for you...my husband is 5 years post and I have received support from my friends and family but no matter how well intentioned...they do not understand how this injury impacts your ENTIRE life/lifestyle....people here do understand. So type away and let everyone lend an ear and a keyboard.....you will feel better...I promise

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    • #3
      Welcome to you both! Aspen is right, people here "get it" in a way that others just don't. I am glad you are making yourselves known, and no one will think that you are whining. Besides, a certain amount of whining is needed by us all at times, and this is a good place for support.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Brett'n'Lyn
        for some reason now its starting to get to me and I really don't know why.
        Welcome to this forum, Lynne! I'm just guessing, but maybe it's starting to get to you because you have a toddler and you're 9 months pregnant? It's been 17 years since I was in that mode (and I didn't have a paralyzed partner at the time) -- but I think I remember it was pretty exhausting and time-consuming.

        Congratulations on the new baby, and keep us posted ~

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        • #5
          Welcome and blessings to you and your family.

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          • #6
            How exciting! Rational people should not be expecting you to do a damn thing. You have a toddler and are due to give birth any minute! Any of those conditions are grounds to drop off the planet for a while...Not to mention the quadriplegic husband!

            It is very nice to meet you. Good luck with the new family member. You're a lucky lady...and I remember well how hard it is to realize thatwith all the expectations placed on moms. Stand your ground!

            I just remembered something. One morning, I'd worked all night. Was out in the yard planting spring flowers, and hollering at my 4 year old to get out of the street. An elderly woman was taking her daily constitutional. She stopped, smiled and said "You are very lucky." I looked up, sweat in my eyes, and said "Why? Because I'm wallowing in the dirt?" She said "You're doing what you love, and who you love is running around the yard. We only get to keep them for 6 years. After that, they belong to the world."

            You do what you love, with who you love. All the rest of the world can get it or not, but you'll be doing the right thing.
            Last edited by betheny; 10-26-2007, 01:10 PM.
            Blog:
            Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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            • #7
              Welcome, you lucky gal, you! You can talk until you are blue in the face with the friends who just don't get it. A few weeks ago our entire family were visiting for a special birthday. It was the first time all of us were together in 6 years. Our single daughter got all pouty that our married with children daughter didn't drop everything and run around town with her. Any attempt to explain the facts fell on deaf ears. It would be the same with your friends.

              You keep doing what you love doing. It is also the right thing to do. Good luck with your pushing party next week, too!

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              • #8
                Welcome to a group of friends that do understand.We all know how time consuming things can be and how hectic life is w/ this disability, let alone w/ kids in the equasion!

                When life hands you lemons,just come here and make lemonade!

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                • #9
                  sorry, double post. oops.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by quad79
                    sorry, double post. oops.
                    HA,HA!!! thats funny, I'm the one that does it normally...welcome to the sight, feel free to get involved with the threads there is always a topic going on, or start on if you feel like..some one will be glad to throw their 2 cents in even if it is a smart ass remark(I think I just described me)

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                    • #11
                      Thanks to you all for the warm welcome
                      After reading your replies and getting a bit teary I realised I need support more than I thought I did, its nice to know that people get me.

                      Bethany I love what the lady said to you, it rings sooo true, after spending years trying to conceive Brett and I just want to spend all of our time with our daughter because we know that one day she'll grow up and leave home.

                      I know that I don't have as much time on my hands since having her but I wouldn't have it any other way and it annoys me that friends don't get it(thankfully my family do) some friends even give me grief because I don't put her in childcare so I can have time to myself, but we didn't have her so that someone else could care for her....just irritates me..

                      Thankfully I've got pretty thick skin, but at times I just want to slap them..lol.

                      SoFla, thanks for the pushing party wishes, I had a dream last night that I went into labour and when I got to the hospital they told me they had this new drug that would make my labour pain free...was so excited until I woke up and realised it was just a dream.ha.
                      The pain will make the end result all worth it though so I'll try and block it all out when the time comes.

                      Like some of you have said, maybe its getting to me more due to hormones, a toddler and the fact that I'm starting to get tired.

                      Thanks again and we look forward to getting to know you all.

                      Will let you know how I go with the new arrival..
                      Thanks again
                      Lynne
                      Girlfriend to Brett (c5-6) for the past 12 yrs, mum to Marli & Tayli

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                      • #12
                        WELCOME TO CC

                        Glad that you decided to open up to us.Great bunch here.
                        Be yourself!!!
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                        • #13
                          You certainly deserve to be tired, and grumpy too, at this point. But you seem to be handling it very well. I can hardly wait to hear about your new arrival. Do you know if it will be a little brother or sister for Marli?

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                          • #14
                            Thanks for the welcome Van Damn I appreciate it.

                            SoFla, I'm in the middle of ironing bubs clothes so that I can pack the hospital bag and I'm sitting down in between as its soo hot here today and I'm buggered.
                            Marli will be getting a little sister, which we're thrilled about, she will love having a little play buddy and she's very excited,, keeps telling everyone that its her thats having the baby and its just going to pop right out of her belly button...if only it were that easy...haha..kids they come up with some crazy idea's.
                            Will let you know next week when I get home from hospital how things go..starting to get nervous.
                            Girlfriend to Brett (c5-6) for the past 12 yrs, mum to Marli & Tayli

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                            • #15
                              Welcome Lynne!

                              We love it here at CC. Let us know about the new arrival! And if you can... post pics.

                              Feel free to come here anytime!

                              Sieg

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