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My Give a Damn's Busted

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    My Give a Damn's Busted

    OK- here is a new thread on feeling bad and guilty. The problem is that I am loosing my empathy for others. Not people with true issues, but these whiners that don’t really have issues but think they do. This all came to light when a new gal started at work last week. It is a long complicated story, but the gist is that she is secretly married to a guy in the Army Reserves that is active and has been for the last 18 years by choice. The guy is in NC or someplace like that waiting for ACL surgery on an injured knee. He could opt out but doesn’t want to because of the insurance and impending knee surgery. The new wife is here in Indy. It all started on day 3 of her temporary employment in my department. I was supposed to train her, but she got a call from her husband and he wasn’t going to be able to come home on the weekend. She started crying and asked to go to a private place to cry for awhile. She spent 3 hours down in the nurse’s office crying. She finally came back but was in no shape to receiver her training so she basically sat at her desk and sniffed. Same type of thing on Friday, but this time she was so distraught that we sent her home.

    She thinks work is some sort of therapy session, and I am her therapist. She chews up so much of my time with her personal problems. I try to be sympathetic, but I just don’t feel it. I’m like, is he dead? Can he walk and use his arms? Is he deployed? The answer is NO to all so I’m thinking DEAL and GET OVER IT. My question is why the hell are you here in Indy? Go be with him. Get a temp job there like you have here and knock it off. My guess is that she can’t because nobody in her family actually knows that she is married to the guy. She is planning a big “fake” wedding in June. I come to work to get away from all this drama. Work is my respite, my time away from caring for someone, and now I have this gal raining on my sanctuary. If she had real problems like a sick child, parent with cancer, husband in Iraq, house burned down I would probably be in the nurse’s office crying with her, but she doesn’t. I think this SCI that our family lives with has left me unsympathetic and annoyed with people and their minor problems; especially when the problems have solutions but nobody wants to solve them. Am I the only one? Don’t be too harsh on me because I already feel bad that I just can’t feel too sorry for some of these people.

    Trish

    #2
    LOL ... I can always count on you to make me laugh ... my give a damn is busted too. I don't have a story on my fingertips, but I'm sure I'll think of one as I sit here feeling sorry for myself the next few hours .... (I think I should smile here, right?!?!)

    Sing on sistah ... Ami

    ETA: maybe she needs an escort to NC ... you could escort her?! .... Has to be Fayetteville btw.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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      #3
      The title of this thread made me think of this....







      That's all I have to add.

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        #4
        OMG thatkat ... I am about to DIE laughing .... you must tell me how I can make that my sig file ...
        Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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          #5
          Well, do you have an account at PhotoBucket or another site where you can remotely post pics? That's how I posted it... just saved it to my computer and then uploaded it there.

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            #6
            Trish.... I am so with you on this! Work is my sanctuary too and I hate whiners at work.... I just want to say... Go to my house and spend oh... about 2-3 hours there and you will count your blessings!

            Sieg

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              #7
              Originally posted by taj2002
              I think this SCI that our family lives with has left me unsympathetic and annoyed with people and their minor problems; especially when the problems have solutions but nobody wants to solve them. Am I the only one? Don’t be too harsh on me because I already feel bad that I just can’t feel too sorry for some of these people.

              Trish


              lmao, Trish . . . the thing that still makes me want to barf is the memory of everyone I knew talking ever so mournfully about how their lives were totally changed by 9/11.

              ha! We live all the way across the USA from that tragedy, and these were people with no connection whatsoever to it. They were just hitchhiking on the drama.

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                #8
                ohhhhh, I do know what you mean about these people with snively little problems trying to compare it to people with large, real problems......

                and these jokers are the ones that try to have ailment or problem contests with you.......oh man, and they are so focussed on themsleves they practically kill you, drop you, give you the wrong box of meds, pull your catheter, or whatever.....I end up sitting there very obviously rolling my eyes at them (after recovering from the incident) as they piss an moan .....if they are really bad, I ask if they finished so we can get the work done. Oh yes, send the pain home early without pay for those hours taken off, they learn fast, especially if they do it more than once or twice. That type is ALWAYS needing extra money!

                The ones that really have it hard are the ones that carry the stiff upper lip, carrry on, have a sense of humor and are uplifting!!!

                Hey, that little thingy that says; 'attempting to give an damn' is hysterical, and yes we need to email to all the winers we encounter! LOL I love it!
                Last edited by Tweetybird; 30 Jan 2007, 11:10 PM.
                Disability is not a medical problem with social issues, but rather a social problem with medical issues.
                Franklin D. Rosevelt

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                  #9
                  Quite apart from the sentiments described above - with which I agree - compare the problems that 99% of the people here have with hers - this woman needs to be told that, although your company is sympathetic and can bend a little, she has been hired to do a job, and must learn to separate that from her personal life. If she is unable to perform her duties, she will have to try somewhere else. Tough and perhaps unfortunate, but that's life.
                  That's a great image, ThatKat!
                  - Richard

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                    #10
                    Am I understanding this correctly, she is unable to do her job because she won't be serviced this weekend? Well, there are quick and easy cures for that! Someone needs to tell her to shut up and get back to work.

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                      #11
                      I hear ya!

                      This is something I have really struggled with. It seems like my co-workers, friends and family complain about all these things that really seem trivial when we with SCI have daily "REAL" issues. It has hardened me at times and I knew I had to change. It was then that it hit me like a freight train, EVERYONE has problems in life( which I knew of course) but their seemingly trivial issues to me, are HUGE issues to them, because they are THEIR issues. When it comes to problems, we all seem to become somewhat ecocentric. Our problems are the biggest problems in the world, because they are OUR problems, our yoke to carry. Car troubles, relationship issues, my cat is sick, my mother in law is a pain blah blah blah, things that we with SCI still have to deal with in addition to AD, infections, decubs, meds, therapy, blah blah blah..... we are not exempt from "normal" problems, even though we have a whole new array of problems to deal that go along with SCI, problems others don't have to deal with.
                      We've all heard the quote "God doesn't give you more than you can handle".....sometimes what gets me through the day is a quote by Mother Teresa that follows that previous one " I just wish He didn't trust me so much" This really helps me to be more empathetic to others problems, I can't change my situation, but I can take some comfort in the fact that God trusts me enough to put all these "issues" on my plate and I still manage to get up out of bed everyday, put a smile on and face the world..... and even listen to someone whine about their "problems"
                      There is nothing wrong with 2nd place.....unless you are in it.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by rfbdorf
                        Quite apart from the sentiments described above - with which I agree - compare the problems that 99% of the people here have with hers - this woman needs to be told that, although your company is sympathetic and can bend a little, she has been hired to do a job, and must learn to separate that from her personal life. If she is unable to perform her duties, she will have to try somewhere else. Tough and perhaps unfortunate, but that's life.
                        That's a great image, ThatKat!
                        - Richard
                        my thoughts exactly...you know if one of us SCIers, or anyone with a disability for that matter, wasn't able to meet the essential function of a job we were hired to do we'd be outta there in a heart beat. Gotta treat her the same!
                        www.facebook.com/hoff_10
                        www.twitter.com/hoff10
                        www.summitilc.org

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                          #13
                          I can so empathize with you. I train people on my job occassionally and get tired of hearing constant whinning about very trivial things. While I understand that every body has stuff to complain about, the constant stupid whines are the ones that irritate me. Stuff like...the cat jumped on my bed waking me 10 minutes before the alarm went off. I just want to scream when stuff like that is said to me. Instead I smile and pretend to listen when I really don't give a damn.

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