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Nightmarish provider(s)

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    Nightmarish provider(s)

    I just have to let this out. Have been trying to let things slide but it has gotten to be too much to hold in anymore. GRRRRRRRRRRR

    The friday before Christmas, feel like I am starting to write the "Night before Christmas", my provider told me that she was not coming in on Monday morn. She told me this as she was leaving for the day. They are supposed to talk about things like this with their supervisor so someone else will come in in their place. So, I asked her if she had let her supervisor, Lucy, know about this. She tells me that she couldn't get a hold of Lucy all week long. That she had called and Lucy had not been in the office whenever she(provider) called. Now, I had noticed that this provider had lied to me on several occasions so I doubted her words. I told her that she had had to make some kind of arrangements with them somehow. There is another lady who will help them when they can't get a hold of Lucy. Well, this woman tells me that she isn't coming because she doesn't get paid anyway. I tell her that she will if she comes to work. She starts to argue with me. I hate arguing with anybody. So I told her that I would call Lucy and let her know so she could send someone else. This lady gets mad and tells me that it is okay if they send me someone else in her place from now on. My jaw dropped. I mean, I have had several problems with her tardiness, nosiness and laziness but this was a surprise. I told her that that was enough(to shut her up) and waved my hand away. Told her I would call Lucy and see what she would have to tell me. I knew she would not be able to get someone to replace the provider over the weekend. She finally left.

    I called Lucy at her home and told her what had just occurred. She was flabbergasted. Told me she had been in the office all week. I was disgusted and told her that I didn't want that provider back again. Also informed her that the provider had told me how she had been discussing my case with some woman she met on the bus to my home. A total stranger. I had been pretty upset about that but had not decided whether to talk to Lucy about it or not. Lucy wanted me to let her stay with me for a few more days until she could replace her. Feeling that I had no choice, I accepted.

    Well, this week she didn't come and said she didn't want to either. I was glad to hear that but then we had to figure who would come in her place. Now the following was funny and crazy at the same time. Lucy sent some woman to come in on Wednesday. On that day, the woman called me because she said she was lost. Wanted me to give her directions to my house from where she was at a 7-11 Store. I did. She came over and told me she was supposed to work w/ me until a new provider could be sent. I said okay. She then asked me what was she supposed to do at my home. I gave her instructions and told her that I would need some help in getting up at 3 or 3:30 that afternoon. I was in bed laying down. Told her I would probably take a nap then get up. So she said okay and went in direction of the kitchen. I fell asleep right away. It was around 12 noon. A few hours later, Nick woke me up cause Lucy was calling me on the phone. I talked with her and she wanted to know if the lady had gotten there. I told her yes. Went back to sleep. Awhile later, Nick woke me up again, another call from Lucy. I pick up, then Lucy asks me what happened. I asked her about what. She then proceeds to tell me that the lady had just called her and told her that I had gotten really mad at her, that I had said that I didn't know what for they sent me providers and she had left my home. I didn't know she wasn't there anymore. She was supposed to leave at 5 PM. It was 3:30. I felt so confused at what she was telling me, wondering what all was going on and if I was going crazy or if Lucy was. After I hung up, Nick told me that the woman had left a short time after she had gone into the kitchen. That she had come back, knocked on the door, and told him she had to leave because Lucy had told to go to take care of another patient. That she would be back at 3 to help me get up. Huh? Man, I wondered again if I was going nuts or what.

    Again on Thursday, I talked with Lucy and she told me she was sending another lady. A new one. I asked her what happened with the nutty one. Then she tells me that the lady also told her that I would not allow her to call Lucy when she got here, and that she had heard Nick and I arguing heatedly when she was here that time. WHAT? Nick has been sleeping all day, he has been really sick with a virus and was asleep that day. He had only been awoken when Lucy callled and when the lady knocked on the door on that day. Now I am wondering what the heck is wrong with her. Did they send some whacko to help me? I told Nick that I was wondering if I did all this things in my sleep and he wonders if he does too. Since he was supposedly arguing with me too. Talk about hellish providers. Wish I didn't have to have any help from any of them. Avoid these kind of nightmares. As if I don't have enought nightmares to live with at times. GRRRRRRRRR

    Well, thanks for listening to me ramble. I just needed to make sure that I didn't explode or really go crazy.

    Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo~

    A warrior is not one who always wins,
    but one who keeps on fighting to the end ~ Unknown ~

    Hey Raven,

    Just hang in there honey, I am sorry it is so difficult. I hope you and Nick have a nice New Year weekend regardless! I am sorry I have been so out of touch Raven...I hope we can catch up soon.




      jim and i have gone through the same type of problem with the director of our caregiving agency. thank goodness we for a little over a yr have the 3 most wonderful girls/ladies in the world. in the beginning they would tell their supervisor they needed off...then no one would show up....gggrrrrr now they tell us and we work things out between them. it's worked out for us, but everytime they would call the agency the agency would say they never did. this would make them look bad.
      gosh raven...i hope u find someone that u can trust and feel comfortable with in your home. i truly know how it feels. hope things work out for u and your family. have a great hoilday weekend !!


      ps: hey mary...happy holidays !!
      and in the end it's not the years in your life that count it's the life in your years. abraham lincoln


        Oh Raven (((((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))) and

        !!!!!!!!!! kicks in the butt to that woman !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        That just sucks, plain and simple.

        I think alot of us are waiting for a new and improved 2007!!

        Love, Ami
        Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager


          Raven ...... {{{{{hug}}}}} ...... I hope you find someone you can depend on and trust too .... send the old one over here when Ami is done with her I'll rough her up alittle too ..... I still believe what goes around comes around .... her time will come !

          Take care
          Last edited by Obieone; 30 Dec 2006, 1:07 PM.
          ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi

          " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
          Jane Siberry


            That bites, Raven. So sorry you're having to deal with this.

            Bad caregivers stress us to the nth degree. If there's a hell, may they land on the lowest rung of Dante's inferno. **insert devil emoticon of your choice here**

            Here's to new, better caregivers for you SOON.

            **Hugs** and better days to you, Nick and Isis.


              Hi Raven .I hope you find someone reliable soon.



                If you are gone crazy, then I must be HAVE to laugh, or you would surely cry....sighhhhhhhhhhhh...

                I hate to say this, but those caregivers sound more like SCAREgivers....sighhhhhhhhhhhh....

                I hope and pray you will find someone who will help you with love in their heart....

                Love, hugs, prayers, and God bless...

                And you and Nick quit fighting...I can hear y'all all the way to North Carolina...y'all are giving me a headache!!! ROFL....

                YES...ROFL at the very notion that you and Nick would fight in such manner...

                OH...and that caregiver most definately broke the HIPPA law in discussing your case with someone without your permission!!!

                Love to all,



                  Hey Raven, sorry to hear that your having trouble with these nuts. Too bad Santa didn't bring you a can-o-whupass. I hope you can get something worked out without too much more aggravation and nonsense. Here's to a better new year.

                  P.S. Tell Nick to check his PM's
                  De Omnibus Dubitandum


                    LOL Myc0!
                    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager


                      Hi Raven,

                      These true life stories read like something out of a Stephen King (Misery) novel. This problem that you are having with help is not any better in California! I worry about the short-term future and think that we may be looking at a Franz Kafka nightmare instead of a Jules Verne Wonderland. I wish I had a solution for this problem but I don't.

                      It seems that every time you go down for the count somehow you get up like a rising ship!

                      Best wishes, Paul
                      The test of success is not what you do when you are on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit the bottom
                      --General George Patton

                      Complex problems need to be solved collectively.
                      ––Paul Nussbaum


                        My wife used to work as a home care provider and had some unbelieveable experiences with the company she used to work with. Her options on where to work were very limited because it was a small town and she had to find somewhere to work that would accomodate her school schedule.

                        The woman who ran this company should have gone out of business years ago, I don't know how they've stayed out of trouble. She takes advantage of everyone she comes in contact with. For example, she doesn't withhold taxes, nor issue W2's or even 1099's. She posts the schedule with the clients' names on the front window of the building (major HIPAA violation). She's done stuff like charge a family for purchasing a VCR for a client, then delivered an old VCR in a new box. Hmmm, wonder where the new machine wound up. She sent out one client's Rolex to get fixed and it just magically disappeared, never came back. Charged one family every year for having gutters cleaned out, but the client's gutters literally had 3' to 4' tall trees growing in them. I think you get the idea. My wife did the best she could and had a great relationship with the clients she worked with and developed close personal relationships with a number of them, but she was SOOOOO glad to leave that place behind once she finished school!!!

                        All I can say is, watch out for yourself. I'm sure you realize that already, but I've seen just how bad it can be from the other side.

                        Raven, my wife says she can picture that the one nutty provider left your house because she couldn't see anything she was interested in stealing. Sorry you're having to go through this, I hope you get the whole thing sorted out soon.


                          Thank you all for your replies.

                          LOL Paul. You know somehow I felt so weird on that day. Wondered if I might be losing my sanity. I am still trying to pick up my jaw and to close my mouth. Can't figure out why she lied to Lucy. Neither do or am I sure that Lucy believes me. I have been thinking of possibly changing agency but have not made my mind up yet. She did send another woman to my home the following day. Nick asked me what I thought about this new lady but I can't possibly say anything either way .. need to give her time.

                          I do recall having a lady once that was really a great provider. Wonderful, hardworker and sweet lady. The problem in the end was her hubby. He was a control freek. He was disrepectful of me, my privacy and kept calling her to leave early most of the time. She had diabetes and high blood pressure and he didn't want her to take any medications that had been prescribed to her. He told me not to give her anything in my house to eat. That she had diabetes because she ate too much. Huh? His reasons for getting her out of work early were to go get loans in her name so he could buy cars. She would try to make up her lost hours but he would be there at the time she normally had to go and start telling her to hurry up cuz he was hungry. It was very obvious that he controlled her. Btw, she was the sole support for her kids and him too. Lazy bum.

                          I am hoping that this new lady works out. They also send me one for two hours in the morning but we have no problems. She just comes in on time, does her work and leaves on time. Something most of them don't do. The only thing is that she can't work more than two hours since she has a little boy in school in the morning and has no sitter to help.

                          Anyways, hope this New Year brings better things in reference to the caregivers. I really need some reprieve from these looney people before I start hearing twilight zone music. lol

                          Sorry to hear Suzy. Guess she thinks she knows the difference of the real from the fake eh? Have you tried to talk to the supervisors at the place they work?

                          LOL, Teena, Obie, Ami. I can imagine how that caregiver's butt will/would look like after you all got a hold of her. Heehee. You girls made me feel better after reading your posts.

                          Thanks MycO, I know it will, it just has to change somehow.

                          Last edited by Raven; 3 Jan 2007, 1:15 AM.
                          Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo~

                          A warrior is not one who always wins,
                          but one who keeps on fighting to the end ~ Unknown ~