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When life gives you lemons......

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    When life gives you lemons......

    Yesterday was a day I’d like to forget. Over the Thanksgiving weekend the tilt actuator broke on my husband’s power wheelchair. The chair lost all of its capacity to tilt back thus eliminating my husband’s ability to do weight shifts. I figured that I could manually tilt him back for a couple of days until Monday came along, and we could get the chair fixed. After a few days my back was taking a toll from all the lifting for the weight shifts. Anyway, I called the repair place Monday morning. We had the part over-nighted, so I could bring in the chair first thing on Wednesday morning. With the tilt not working I knew I would have trouble getting the chair in the van by myself, so my mom said that she would come over and go along with me to help. So bright and early on Wed. we go out to put the chair in the van, and our van won’t start. Now I am totally beside myself. Our van is brand new with only 923 miles on it. All I can do is stand in my driveway and cry. I have a broken sip-n-puff powerchair, a new van that won’t start, I had to take a vacation day from work, and I have a nurse that I am paying $42/hour to stay with my husband while he lies in bed because his chair is broken. Now it’s boo hoo time. My mom just lets me cry in her arms as I’m mumbling that this all just isn’t worth it. If she hadn’t been there to help, I might have just cried all day on my driveway. Anyway, she called AAA. They jumped the van. We got the chair in for repairs, and they had it fixed in a couple of hours. By 3:00 pm everything was status quo again. There are days when I think that I just can’t handle all of these obstacles. Thank goodness for my mom’s support. She is a rock.

    I wish I could find some good way to deal with days like this. When life gives you lemons, sometimes lemonade just doesn’t cut it. How do you deal with these caregiving frustrations? Some days my only outlet is to just call my mom for a major boo hoo session.

    Trish

    #2
    Well I'm just glad you found a way to cope when you feel as though you have problems.

    Comment


      #3
      taj, In a rounabout way I know what you are saying. About a year ago one of my motors on my Jazzy chair went out. I had to get my dad to push me around for a few days until they got the part in. Well, after installing my new motor, the tech. found out that my chair was incorrectly mounted to the base. The Pride reps exact words were, ''A lawsuit waiting to happen''. I had been driving for over a year at this point. All I had holding me to the base were 4 small screws.. just tightened down and not passing thru for a stronger fit. I was so nervous until it got fixed... 5 months later. Well, I got a new tilt system and batteries out of it, but damn.. when it rains, it pours.

      I guess we all have to realize that some days are going to suck really, really bad, but just take a deep breath and things ultimately work out.





      Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

      If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia

      Comment


        #4
        Hi Trish,

        I understand days like that. Some days it seems like instead of the Midas Touch I have the crap touch---everything I touch turns to crap and then some! When I'm in the midst of the crap day, I can't see anything lemonaidish about it and if someone told me to make lemonaide out of the lemons, I'd probably take the lemons and squeeze the juice into their eyes instead. I'm glad you have your mom! She sounds like a good one!

        (pssst...KKMay...she didn't FEEL she was having problems, she WAS having problems....and this is the Caregiving Forum and we don't allow veiled rude sarcasm in here...take it elsewhere.
        "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

        Comment


          #5
          Trish....

          Sometimes the lemons are just rotten and you cant make lemonade. LOL Glad your mom is there. My mom has been my "rock" though all of "those kinds of days".

          I used to cry and throw temper tantrums and still do. It always seems things happen in threes for me and sometimes multiple threes. I try to find something funny to laugh about...not always but most times if I just picture myself throwing my "hale mary signature tantrum" then the laughing takes over. In the early years, lots of falls put the "icing on the cake" of my bad days. Usually when I hit the floor, there was no where else to go and I wouldnt get up until I found one stupid thing to laugh about in whatever situation I got myself in. Cry, laugh, cry, laugh and sometimes both at the same time. I am knocking on being 40 so maybe age has given me a little patience because heck I am expecting my bads in multiples whether they actually happen or not.

          Some things you just cant help....If I get some extra money, you can bet somethings gonna break and take that money before I can spend it....

          Laugh and feed those rotten lemons to the possums....LOL

          and be sure to give mom lots of extra hugs for being there...
          T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

          My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

          Comment


            #6
            If I get some extra money, you can bet somethings gonna break and take that money before I can spend it....
            Like the good Correlle--- Not the old, every day Correlle with only the thin green line for trim, but the good,we only use it for company Correlle with the sunflower pattern.....

            laughing is good----I laugh at some pretty awful things just because the awfulness of them is SO surreal......
            "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by WM
              Like the good Correlle--- Not the old, every day Correlle with only the thin green line for trim, but the good,we only use it for company Correlle with the sunflower pattern.....

              Okay my everyday Correlle has a thin peach colored line.....and my "good china" Correlle has blue checks and sunflowers....

              Are you looking in my windows???? LOL
              T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

              My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

              Comment


                #8
                know what you mean, Trish--

                It's ridiculous that it always, always takes the little stuff to send me into orbit.

                Like in the early days, okay--my husband's in the hospital, okay, he's probably never going to walk again, okay, my father died right in the middle of the home modifications, okay, I can take it, I can take it . . . then our water heater goes on the fritz and now I've freaking HAD IT!!!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Daisy I am not looking in your windows I just know the heart and soul of every true Correlle lover, being one myself---if you really LOVE Correlle, you cannot resist the sunflower pattern. And if you are one of the unfortunate ones who does not HAVE the sunflower pattern, you covet your more fortunate neighbor's set! And that is the one I have as well.....sunflowers with blue/white checks....it's so HAPPY!

                  I'm trying to think of the last smallish thing that I came unglued over. God, there are so many they are hard to remember individually! Well, I cried in the bank because the teller was a little snappy with me. Yes, I can handle anything big, get the job done, make sure everyone is okay, make the arrangements, work out the finances, get the people who are out of line back in line, but some lady I don't even know gets a tad testy with me and you'd think I was the victim of some horrible crime! God, "mean lady at bank not being nice to me"----it just doesn't GET any worse in life than THAT does it?

                  We know we aren't crying or pitching one over the smaller things---it's just that it's that damned FINAL straw when everything else has gone wrong. I think by the time we have taken care of the big things, we just don't have a lot left in us.

                  Better days.....
                  "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by WM
                    ....sunflowers with blue/white checks....it's so HAPPY!
                    The only thing I missed buying was the matching silverware to my set...LOL My mom even made me curtains to match it for my old house....They wouldnt fit my windows here
                    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

                    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

                    Comment


                      #11
                      When Life Gives You Lemons

                      Try This
                      Last edited by Foolish Old; 1 Dec 2006, 5:58 PM.
                      Foolish

                      "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

                      "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

                      "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Sometimes life gives me crap and the crapaide I have to make with it is a little tough to choke down but someones gotta drink it.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Don't feel bad Daisy...I don't have the matching utensils either! And my sincere condolences on the curtains not fitting---a Correlle horror story if I've ever heard one---and I've heard oh so many!

                          Foolish Old--now THAT lemonaide recipe might have me asking life for a few lemons! What do you say Trish?

                          Crapaide ------->LOL! Good one Jeff B!
                          "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            WM-
                            I'm all for the Foolish Old version of lemonade. I need to make a pitcher or two around here. I think there must be bad karma in my house this week. Yesterday I was resting on the sofa for just a minute trying to de-stress. I had taken my contacts out and had my glasses beside me just in case. One of my sons came in yelling about some mysterious noise. He scared me so bad that I jumped up, my glasses fell on the floor and then I stepped on them and broke them. Now tonight I have a nurse here. He (this male nurse) was trying to move my husband's bed when he rolled it over a floor register and it crushed the register. The wheel of the bed fell off and down the vent. The whole time my husband is in the bed, and I am at a high school hockey game with the kids. Somehow he managed to fish it out and get it back on the bed, but he was a little frazzled when I got home. He (the nurse) is resting in the kitchen right now eating a piece of pizza. (hehe) Glad this one happened to him and not me.

                            No broken dishes yet, but there is always next week. I guess it's good to know that the freak-out fairy visits lots of us.

                            P.S. My husband sent me flowers today just to let me know how much he appreciates everything I do. First good thing all week.

                            Trish

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Geez these threads seem to pop up in the nick of time .... its almost uncanny!
                              Anyhoo .... I don't have any"more" corelle left ... yes they's all broke ... but I do have a few stonewear plates left .. relics of a wedding gift given close to 30 years ago ! If I break them we'll have nothing left to eat off of !

                              My latest meltdown came just this past week when Bill and I went to a conference in Winnipeg - stayed in a reasonably fancy shmancy hotel ('cept they gave away our handicap room .. little mixup in the reservations even after we confirmed them 'kay .. whatever ... took the bathroom door off ... its all good) Decide to leave the gala banquet early (really really bad entertainment ) Trek across the skywalk to get to the dark wee side hallway for elevators that access the hotel (for us gimps so we don't have to go outside in -20c to -30c plus with the windchill but are only available in THE DAY TIME ... cause we all know we gimps never go out in THE EVENING .... 'kay .... whatever! People coming and going .... passing us .. laughing ... exchanging glances, holding hands etc. etc. ... you get the picture .... Bill and I pathetically staring through the window trying to get someones attention to open the door so we can get to the ELEVATOR so we can get to the HOTEL ................ I LOST IT ...... pounded on the window - to get someone's attention - promises to find someone with a key - staring at my feet so no one can see me crying ... Bill comforting me .. "no sense getting upset Joyce these things happen .. someone is coming yada yada yada ...... " someone finally does come .... feeling like a child ... I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs ... " All we want is to just be able to go about our business like everyone else a**holes .. so just unlock the f**king door ............ please !
                              I have no idea why that situation got to me so bad ... it just did .... we've been in far more intimidating situations ... there was just something about that moment that seperated us so vastly from everyone else ...... I just couldn't help it!!!!!!!!!!

                              Just when I think we've got it under control .... something like that happens and I feel like we're back to square one ..... it helps to know we're not alone .... but boy I really hate sci ...... sometimes !
                              I do have a soft spot for lemonade though ... haven't tried the crapaide yet .. but I expect to ... before too long ..

                              Obieone
                              Last edited by Obieone; 2 Dec 2006, 1:02 AM.
                              ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


                              " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
                              Jane Siberry

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