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    Just some whining here

    OWCH! Chad has been down with a pressure sore and assortment of other symptoms for the last few days and because of the way the furniture and bed are arranged in our room, I have to twist in this really funny way to get him positioned correctly, off his left butt (don't we all have two butts?). I had strained my right arm about 2 weeks before he was needing to be positioned like this, but now that he needs to be turned/positioned every few hours, my right arm HURTS!!!!!!!!!!

    Also, to top it all off, you may recall if you have a stunning capacity for recalling details of other people's lives, that I broke my left foot and ended up having surgery on it. It was a 10 month ordeal that involved a huge amount of pain. Well, it hurts again. Went back to dr and this time I have an EXTRA bone in that same damn foot. I actually had it removed as a teenager but now it's grown back. So completely unrelated, I have 2 foot issues in one year. And guess what: I need surgery on it. ARGH!

    OK, I just had to get that out of my system. I AM IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least at night I can take stronger meds for the pain (don't worry, they are prescribed to me for this). So if I make more grammatical errors, this is why.

    Ami <---- who is irritated as hell at her falling apart body .... ARGH!
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

    #2
    Ami
    You are a brave strong woman........How you do all that you do is beyond me. I read your other post a little bit ago. Sorry to hear you may be having to have surgery again. Sending you another (((((hug))))

    It sucks to fall apart as we age!!!!!!!
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

    Comment


      #3
      Well Ami .. sometimes I just don't know what to say .... ..... ..... but I'm gonna say this .. I know how much you love Chad .... its very clear ...... but ... you know you need to take care of yourself because you have a little boy that needs his Mom too ... am I right ?? So you just come here and lay it out and we'll commiserate .. and whine .. and feel bad etc. etc. etc. .... and then we'll talk about what needs to be done and get on with it! I'm sorry everyone here has to endure this crap ... but we're here to lift each other up when ever its necessary .... now .... someone pass that friggin' pipe please ... oh yeah and turn it up real LOUD .... .....

      Stay strong Amizilla !

      Obieone
      ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


      " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
      Jane Siberry

      Comment


        #4
        revised
        Last edited by ChopperChick; 1 Aug 2006, 12:58 AM.

        Comment


          #5
          Hey Ami:

          You have always been someone who I look to on this list for advice and support! Hang in there! I have body parts that hurt that I didn't even know I had... elbows, hands, knees... As I get older I realize we are all more prone to injury... please try to take a little bit of time for yourself... now pass that pipe!

          Love, Sieg

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by zillazangel

            OK, I just had to get that out of my system. I AM IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least at night I can take stronger meds for the pain (don't worry, they are prescribed to me for this). So if I make more grammatical errors, this is why.

            Ami <---- who is irritated as hell at her falling apart body .... ARGH!
            Ami, that totally sucks.
            Daniel

            Comment


              #7
              Yes, I remember your foot surgery--I'm one of those folks with the stunning capacity to remember the details of other people's lives! ---and all I can say is CRAP! Not the same foot again! And your other hurtin' parts! It's not fair, really, it's not!

              I'm so sorry!
              "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

              Comment


                #8
                Amy-

                I agree with you- it stinks getting old. I have had multiple foot surgeries so can relate to your angst.

                You are a remarkable woman! Keep the faith.

                CKF
                The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Thanks everybody! I am still overwhelmed, but my outlook has improved. Coming here just to complain now and then does me a world of good. So here is more complaining ....

                  So obie, your post got my thinking. So I acted on your suggestion to do something about it. So I called a ... let's say "family member" to come help me this week. I am incredibly buried in work, I have been literally working until 2, 3, 4 am even every night. I'm up at 7:30 to take Small Boy to school and then my work begins again. Taking care of Chad, keeping up with the house, and most importantly, being a good mom were all competing priorities. (#1 being a good mom, #2 Chad, #3 work, #4 house, cleaning, etc ... needless to say my house is a freakshow disaster).

                  Anyway, I asked this certain family member to come help as she knows how to take care of Chad. She came. After considerable cajoling. Since she has been here, it has been awful. Simply awful. She has harrassed Chad, told him he "lectures" her (all he does is respond to her baited questions and he is NOT a lecturer, ever!!). I have had to stop my work, go in the bedroom and shut the door to "protect" him from her.

                  The VERY best part was today when she drew me a diagram of Chad's ass complete with areas indicating pressure areas and EXPLAINED to me how Chad gets sore and how it's important to avoid them and that I should do X, Y, and Z. It took EVERY OUNCE, and I mean EVERY SINGLE OUNCE of self discipline to keep my mouth shut (if you haven't noticed from here, I tend to just say what I think ... and bluntly ). I just stood there in silence and said nary a word. I just stared at her with laser eyes so perhaps she might REMEMBER THAT I HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF HIM FOR OVER 2 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TOTALLY ALONE FOR 1 YEAR!!!!! I know what f***ing pressure IS and HOW they happen.

                  Deep breath.

                  I still have tons of work to do, Chad is being tortured mentally, my house is still a disaster, and this "relative" complained this AM that there was nothing to do so she was just going to go home. Another Zen like breath here. I could write a list 2 pages single spaced long of what she could do, but hey, what-evah.

                  This is why I am reluctant to EVER ask for help ... this is what I get!! More aggravation and work than if I just sucked it up.

                  Blah. Despite this, I really am really better about things. If I can just get a certain person to leave, I will be much happier.

                  Ami

                  p.s. In re-reading this it possibly may sound like I'm blaming this on your suggestion. I am not, and I'm sure you know that. I am just saying that the particular person I asked to help was not helpful. I just need another me!!!!
                  Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Since you haven't much luck with the "family" help and I think you have posted before about PCA issues, it seems like priorities #2 and #3 can only be dealt with by you right now.

                    You probably have thought of this, but how about hiring someone to come in and clean? A one time shot if you don't want them there all the time might help, even if that is lower on your priority list. I personally have a high tolerance for mess, but when it reaches a certain point, I get really stressed. And now that I can't deal with it, it is harder. Even tho' your reason for "not being able to deal with it" is different from mine, this might help.

                    And maybe a local teen to come over and play with your son a couple of afternoons a week. I know how important being a mom is (I have 4 .... ages 15-23, almost grown now) but he might love hanging around with a older kid. Playing at a park, hanging out in the yard, playing ball or riding a bike, playing games at the house while you are busy. We have some little ones next door who LOVE it when my girls hang out with them. Their mom gets some time, and they don;t feel like they are getting farmed out, because to them, it is a treat. These older kids are paying all their attention to them, and doing whatever they want to do!

                    Hope things get calmer soon.
                    T7-8 since Feb 2005

                    Comment


                      #11
                      We are ....

                      ..... too broke to hire a cleaning person. Consulting is a feast or famine business and we are in famine right now. My mom comes over alot to help me clean so it's clean under the mess, but it is all SO disorganized, you know? My desk has piles 2 feet deep (no joke) and only I can organize it because it's business stuff and no one else would have a clue how to organize it.

                      My mom helps alot by watching my son frequently, but then I feel like a bad mom and there is just a certain amount of time I need to spend with him. I actually did hire a babysitter, a young teen, the other day who babysat - sort of - while we were both here. That way I see him play, he could talk to me, but I could quasi-concentrate on work.

                      Thanks for the suggestions Sjean, it really helps to have a fresh perspective on things.
                      Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Ami
                        Dont feel bad for asking your mom to help you with your son. My family had to help me with my daughter when she was little. Now that they have all passed away (my daughter is 18), she knows she is lucky she got to spend as much time with them as she did.

                        I don't know how you do it girl.....you are an amazing superwoman!!!! If I ever get to the Eastern part of the state, I am going to take you out for dinner!!!! I know how frustrating it is for someone who just waltzes in and tells you everything you already know. My mother (bless her heart) is that way. Always able to tell you how to do it correctly but too busy to make sure it gets done......LOL

                        My grandmother (on my mothers side) stayed with my daughter when I was having all my medical problems as well as my grandpa (on my dads side). Casey was 6 months old when I had my accident and if it hadnt been for them......I dont know what would have happened. My aunt made the "psycho" suggestion that I put her up for adoption because I wasnt going to be able to take care of her. All I got to say is they ate their words because she will graduate next year and we did it!!!!

                        I hope you get some relief soon........Just keep whining and we will keep listening!!!!
                        T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

                        My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by zillazangel
                          My desk has piles 2 feet deep (no joke) and only I can organize it because it's business stuff and no one else would have a clue how to organize it.
                          Hi Ami,

                          My kitchen table is like that.... well only a foot deep. And the one time my brother helped me clean my house he just threw everything away. I couldn't find a thing. He even frisbied my only pizza pan into the field outback because he didn't want to "waste" the time cleaning it! I wondered where that damn pan was for weeks. He finally, after some interrogation, came clean and told me... unlike the pizza pan he didn't feel like scrubbing.

                          I hope things (business) pick up for you soon. Good luck.
                          "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by zillazangel

                            The VERY best part was today when she drew me a diagram of Chad's ass complete with areas indicating pressure areas and EXPLAINED to me how Chad gets sore and how it's important to avoid them and that I should do X, Y, and Z.

                            Deep breath.

                            I'm sorry Ami .... that line cracked me up .... I hope you haven't lost your sense of humour .... "they know not what they do" ..... I've had similar experiences with helpful types like her so I could sort of relate to that part of your story! I'm sorry things didn't go better but at least you remembered 'bout the breathing thing ..
                            Can I offer you some ice cream .. you know .. instead of the pipe !

                            Obieone
                            P.S. By the way .. no offence taken {{{{hug}}}}} !!
                            ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


                            " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
                            Jane Siberry

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I can relate to the inability to hire someone to clean. I would love to have someone come in a do a big "deep clean" then my kids can have something to work from. There is only so much I can do, and I hate correcting them, and making them do-over when it isn't how I want it. But $$$$$ (to hire someone). I haven't been in the little bathroom for a year and a half ..... no idea what it looks like!

                              ANd while I know you have to spend some time with the little one , it doesn't make you a bad mom to get a little help there. He probably loved the attention from the neighborhood kid, they just play different from us grownups. A few hours once in a while will be good for both of you!
                              T7-8 since Feb 2005

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