Hi there, I am a private hire non-agency caregiver, no certification or special training. I've cared for a gal with quadriplegia for about 2 years, so I know how to do that kind of care. Took a hiatus from working to be a stay at home mom. Now I've recently phone interviewed with a man in his 40's who has quadriplegia. I thought I was good, but my first shift is tomorrow morning and I'm getting increasingly nervous about caring for a man. I know I need to communicate to him that I'm just going to need a lot of specific instruction about how to do things, but unsure how to word it or approach it. Please no judgement, I'm just human here. Any advice welcome.
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Every person has their own specific routine and preferences on how they like things done. Us quads can be pretty particular and I think most of us are pretty open on telling caregivers how we like things done. Just mention you have experience with quad care but you’ll need pointers on his specific preferences and routine -
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Is it the first time you've taken care of a male?
Who showed you the routine of your present patient? Did he try to walk you through it verbally? That never works.
It is infinitely better to have a present caregiver who knows this patient's routine show you the ropes so to speak. After all, much of it involves things not in the patient's field-of-view and/or requires hands-on demonstration. Not to mention checking, such as learning one's bowel routine.
To me, just learning my morning routine without the bowel routine can take half a dozen times under supervision to be confident. The bowel routine can take a dozen times, possibly even 15 to 20 before complete confidence is obtained.
That is why having several caregivers is key, so that they can help out with the training.
Also, you have negotiable and nonnegotiable ways of doing things. Sometimes a caregiver has a better way of doing something and the patient should be open to suggestions. However, there are things the caregiver may not know about or maybe unable or unwilling to do which, if they are not done, can have substantial, if not serious, health effects.
These are the nonnegotiables. A caregiver needs to realize that these must be done for a legitimate reason and if they are not, would constitute a reason for a mutual parting of the ways.Comment
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Hi there, thank you for your help! Well, yes, it was my first time with a male, and so my first time to need a hoyer lift. (I've cared for a lady w/ quadriplegia before, went great, was with her for 2 years). I'm in strong agreement with another caregiver being able to demonstrate some things. I do know, from previous experience, that strictly verbal instructions can be difficult to follow at times.
Bowel care went well, I was prepared. Guy got pretty frustrated with me on Hoyer, took me 3 tries to get sling lined up correctly. (Second time I did Hoyer, I got it right on first try). Washing/caring for man parts ended up being pretty simple.
I'm afraid I am still learning, though. I gave this fellow four shifts, which was our agreed-upon training-in/trial period. I decided I couldn't handle his temperament on a day-to-day basis, and that is just a limitation on my part. Apparently I can't handle men raising their voice to me.
I'm feeling a bit discouraged/uncertain about how to go forward. (I am non-agency, not certified). I imagine all we can do is learn, we are all just human.
Thanks for y'all's input, I do appreciate it. -
Don't give up! There are so many people with SCI/D out there who are desperately looking for PCAs. Just because you clashed with this man's personality is not a reason to give up. When I was hiring for my mother, my first priorities were dependability and trustworthiness, and willingness to learn. Suggest you post ads on NextDoor, as I see people often looking for PCAs there in my area. (KLD)
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Hi there, Yes ma'am, agreed. I imagine I took it for granted that I had such a good rapport with my first person w/ quadriplegia. (We became friends, hung out on the weekends, etc.). Of course, I don't expect that to be the case in every situation, I just expected it to go better than it did. What I really dislike is learning that there are things I'm not able or not willing to handle, such as certain personality types. Yes, I may look at NextDoor and get going with that. One of my challenges is that I live in a very rural area in Texas (my town has a pop. of 200), and so, the only people that need care are older individuals with dementia, etc. (which is also good, important caregiving work). I just got excited when this care for quadriplegia popped up, felt I had some skill there, and a heart for it. I do appreciate your advice and input. Much thanks.Comment
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I second that, please don't give up after that experience. Finding someone with a good heart that's willing to learn is hard, especially in rural areas where this kind of care is difficult to find to say the least. Everyone is different, so hopefully the next person you start a trial with will go much better. A lot of my current caregivers are similar to the situation you had with your last patient, we've become friends and they have spent time with me outside of their roles as my caregiver. Don't get me wrong, because we've been through a lot of caregivers over the years, especially at the beginning, but respect and speaking civil to people is important, so we understand the need to explain things politely. We try to show new people the routine and how to do things during trial periods, and try to work with them as much as possible. As others suggested, once we're used to certain routines, it's hard to break from them. I truly hope your next patient will be a better experience for you.Comment
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Agreed, and thank you for the encouragement.Comment
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