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Does anyone else experience bullying from their nurse/aide?

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    Does anyone else experience bullying from their nurse/aide?

    I?ve lived in a nursing home and my own home and I can say they are truly despicable people. I figured once I moved into my own place, having one on one care would be a breeze. Not so! Nurses are arrogant, entitled, and take advantage at every opportunity. I have a very comfortable home for the nurse?s benefit and they tend to abuse it. Because there?s no supervisor from the agency there, they don?t count narcotics together at every shift or make sure meds are refilled. If I complain to the agency, they quit at a pin drop. They are quick to be argumentative and are very spiteful and nasty. Articles abound on nurses who ?eat their young,? but let me tell you, they eat their patients too! I believe this to be a trend because because of the power dynamic between nurse and patient and nurse and agency. Nurses can refuse to work for whatever reason . I have had some very good nurses but overall, I have lost respect for the nursing industry.
    Last edited by ricanstruction; 1 Mar 2020, 12:21 PM. Reason: Spelling

    #2
    dang what is ur level . I had 1 try that crap ad lied to me she was gone in 5 minutes I write the check I do not tolerate that crap BUT I may be in a different senerio than you to

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      #3
      I’m a c6/7 with a tracheotomy. I have insurance that pays for my care.

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        #4
        Nurses (RNs or LVNs) or aides (HHA, CNA)? The latter are not nurses, are not allowed to give medications, count them, or order. Whey don't you take care of your own medication reordering, and keep your controlled drugs under lock and key which only you can access? Licensed nurses (RNs and LVNs) are accountable to both their agency and to the state licensing board. You can file complaints with either. CNAs and HHAs are accountable to their supervising RN, who may be in the agency office, and if state certified (as non-nurses they are not licensed), you can also file complaints with the state certification agency. Patient abuse and neglect are taken very seriously in most states, and investigated by the state licensing or certification agency. If the agency you are using is not attentive to your complaints and does not see you as the employer (instead giving that role to your insurance company), then I would suggest finding a different agency, and making sure it is one that is Joint Commission accredited.

        (KLD)
        The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

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          #5
          I only have nurses, but I included aides because they too can be bullies. I have complained to the agency (the director) and they are siding with the nurses. I will complain to the state next, although I doubt anything will come of it since I’ve complained to them before on understaffing and verbal intimidation. I am currently looking for another agency. Nurses are not stupid, they don’t want to blatantly abuse me and lose their license, but like they do with other nurses, they bully through verbal intimidation, refusing to do things they used to do, being cold, being argumentative, calling out a lot or quitting outright with no backup. The state doesn’t do much on these because the nurse can use a myriad of excuses to dodge any culpability. My clinical managing nurse agrees with me and has gone through it with her own mother. However, now she’s on eggshells for the sake of her job. I just wanted to vent here and see how many other people go through the same thing.

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            #6
            I think you will find few people here who are able to get their insurance to pay for agency staff, instead hiring PCAs on their own or through Medicaid waiver programs which rarely pay for skilled care for home care.

            (KLD)
            The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

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              #7
              I know, which is why I included aides.

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                #8
                Have you tried this service? https://leanonwe.com/

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by ricanstruction View Post
                  I?ve lived in a nursing home and my own home and I can say they are truly despicable people. I figured once I moved into my own place, having one on one care would be a breeze. Not so! Nurses are arrogant, entitled, and take advantage at every opportunity. I have a very comfortable home for the nurse?s benefit and they tend to abuse it. Because there?s no supervisor from the agency there, they don?t count narcotics together at every shift or make sure meds are refilled. If I complain to the agency, they quit at a pin drop. They are quick to be argumentative and are very spiteful and nasty. Articles abound on nurses who ?eat their young,? but let me tell you, they eat their patients too! I believe this to be a trend because because of the power dynamic between nurse and patient and nurse and agency. Nurses can refuse to work for whatever reason . I have had some very good nurses but overall, I have lost respect for the nursing industry.
                  Caregivers is like rolling dice, sometimes you crap out. JUST DON'T ACCEPT INFERIOR CARE!

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                    #10
                    I'm guessing you have private insurance, not Medicare or Medicaid?

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                      #11
                      I have had really exceptional caregivers, as I am incredibly lucky to be able to say I do right now. But I think I have said in the past also that the worst people I've ever known have all been caregivers. I have speculated that maybe there is something systemic at play that directs mentally ill, or otherwise volatile and troubled to be caregivers. I don't mean to be as patronizing as that sounds, but maybe mental institutions or other kinds of programs that deal with people with problems recommend caregiving as a good route to pursue.

                      I may get a lot of flack for saying this, and it is my general orientation not to take any shit, but I urge you to be careful. I would try just to get rid of them as peacefully as you can, without confrontation. I have felt afraid of caregivers before. Our bodies and belongings are hopelessly vulnerable, no matter the degree of supervision. Not just our quality of life but our range of physicality, from comfort to survival, is directly mediated by our caregivers’ orientation.

                      eta: I realize I left you still with the problem of how to replace a bad person with a better one. I never have succeeded at this, but can you ask your agency you can interview a few people before they assign one? If you are private pay, go to care.com and look for others to interview, although not sure how you do that while the other person is in the house. You certainly can call around and interview agencies, and let them know and if they don't send you an acceptable person you can go elsewhere.

                      ETA again: did someone have a link to this that I might have clicked? Otherwise I my grandmother is showing that she has obtained in the afterlife more computer expertise and she needed here. But I just found a tab open to this website. Sounds like an agency that lets you interview, although maybe just a referral service.
                      https://leanonwe.com/
                      Last edited by Random; 4 Mar 2020, 3:05 AM.

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                        #12
                        KLD is right. Reporting bad LPN's, RN's and nursing agencies to the Board of Registration is very helpful. I have had some great nurses, PCA' s and other types of help, but I have also had some very bad ones. Once you find some good ones they are as good as gold. KLD has much great advice.

                        As far as meds are concerned I keep my meds under lock and key in a safe by my bed. I keep count and keep track of medication orders myself and it works out well. If you can keep as much control of stuff yourself, the better. For your non opiates you can put them in a less secure place and set them up yourself. I have a cardboard tray that I keep my set up meds on. As I have meds in the am and in the pm, I saved the old pill bottles and take an elastic and put the two bottles together. One is labeled "D" for day, the other "N" for night. I set up a month's supply at a time. Then I put it in a easily reachable place near my bed. I then take one out each night, take my night pills. Then in the morning, I carry the pill bottles into the kitchen where I can take them after breakfast. When I have taken them, I put the two empty bottles, still fastened together, into a bag to be refilled later on in the week or month.

                        I gradually saved up the bottles over time, and now have enough for more than a month. You will start out with a week, then as you save the bottles, you can do your pills once a month.

                        As far as your opiates are concerned, I keep a chart next to my bed, with a chart. It has date, time, what you took, where and what triggered the pain and if you took any other methods to control it. This chart helps you keep track of what you took, when you took it, and you can follow you pattern of pain, which can help you and your doctor's, PT, OT, etc manage your pain better.

                        This is just how I do it, and that might be helpful and give you mor independence and self reliance. You will feel much better having more control of something so vital to your well being. Hope this helps.
                        Disability is not a medical problem with social issues, but rather a social problem with medical issues.
                        Franklin D. Rosevelt

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