Do you travel with a PSW when with a spouse/bf/gf?

[RJC]

I was curious for those of you who require PSW support for morning routines (bathing/toileting/etc) when you travel with a spouse/bf/gf, do you pay for a PSW to come along to handle those aspects or does your partner assume that role?

My fiancee wants to travel in the future and I'm leery about having her do the bowel routines... we've gone on short trips for a day or two where she's helped me hop on a commode and shower... but none with a bowel routine day ... to actually go thru a bowel routine with suppository/digital stim and even just the rush to get on the commode and over a toilet before stuff starts 'happening' makes me hesitant... also cause I'm worried it'll be pretty tiring on her getting up early and going thru all that. I'm sure she would but I'm pretty sure it'd be taxing on her and I wouldn't want a trip to feel that way, not relaxing for her.... of course she kinda balks at the added cost to pay a PSW to come along... but I think she's under-estimating how tiring a morning routine like that that involves getting up at very early for will be on her later in a day.

What do all of you do?

[HACKNSACK44]

I was curious for those of you who require PSW support for morning routines (bathing/toileting/etc) when you travel with a spouse/bf/gf, do you pay for a PSW to come along to handle those aspects or does your partner assume that role?

My fiancee wants to travel in the future and I'm leery about having her do the bowel routines... we've gone on short trips for a day or two where she's helped me hop on a commode and shower... but none with a bowel routine day ... to actually go thru a bowel routine with suppository/digital stim and even just the rush to get on the commode and over a toilet before stuff starts 'happening' makes me hesitant... also cause I'm worried it'll be pretty tiring on her getting up early and going thru all that. I'm sure she would but I'm pretty sure it'd be taxing on her and I wouldn't want a trip to feel that way, not relaxing for her.... of course she kinda balks at the added cost to pay a PSW to come along... but I think she's under-estimating how tiring a morning routine like that that involves getting up at very early for will be on her later in a day.

What do all of you do?

Ever consider a colostomy? For 24 years my life revolved around my bowel routine and I hardly ever traveled because of that. I've had my colostomy almost 6 years now and my wife and I travel all the time. It went from 2-4hrs every other day to a 5min bag change when needed. Best decision I ever made. Wish I would have done it when I was first injured.

[vjls]

totally agree I am a quad I could not have gone ski in Colorado with my sis or white water down Colorado for 6 day had I not had colostomy no accidents nothing just go also if caretake does not come no worries
on accidents I agree with hacknsack wish I had know to begin with its also easier to get someone to help

[RJC]

Thanks for the suggestion but I have no interest in doing that voluntarily. I understand the time/ease trade-off you're getting but that's not an avenue I want to pursue.

[RollinPositive]

I was curious for those of you who require PSW support for morning routines (bathing/toileting/etc) when you travel with a spouse/bf/gf, do you pay for a PSW to come along to handle those aspects or does your partner assume that role?

My fiancee wants to travel in the future and I'm leery about having her do the bowel routines... we've gone on short trips for a day or two where she's helped me hop on a commode and shower... but none with a bowel routine day ... to actually go thru a bowel routine with suppository/digital stim and even just the rush to get on the commode and over a toilet before stuff starts 'happening' makes me hesitant... also cause I'm worried it'll be pretty tiring on her getting up early and going thru all that. I'm sure she would but I'm pretty sure it'd be taxing on her and I wouldn't want a trip to feel that way, not relaxing for her.... of course she kinda balks at the added cost to pay a PSW to come along... but I think she's under-estimating how tiring a morning routine like that that involves getting up at very early for will be on her later in a day.

What do all of you do?

I think the bigger picture is making oneself vulnerable to a partner on what is needed to start ones day.

Have you talked about it ? Maybe she is opening the door to start the conversation?

[SCI-Nurse]

Perhaps this would be better responded to if moved to the Caregiving forum?

(KLD)

[RJC]

I think the bigger picture is making oneself vulnerable to a partner on what is needed to start ones day.

Have you talked about it ? Maybe she is opening the door to start the conversation?

She's fully aware of my routine, never done it herself, but understands what's involved... she actually wants to learn it for emergencies.

[RJC]

Perhaps this would be better responded to if moved to the Caregiving forum?

(KLD)

I asked it as a travel question but if you feel it's more appropriate there you can move it, fine with me

[gjnl]

GJ was a C6/7 complete. I was his full time caregiver on vacation and at home for 37+ years. We did not use personal care assistants. We hired outside help twice when I had bunion surgeries, and then only for a couple days each time. It worked for us, but I know it wouldn't work for everyone. We learned to pace ourselves and our activities and to compartmentalize caregiving and partnering. I felt that GJ had to be up to doing his morning and evening routines, and I wanted to up to doing them with him. Sleeping in while he was going through all of that just never felt right to me. These mandatory routines are draining and take energy. GJ expended that energy and I expended that energy and somehow at the end of each day we came out about even. Both of us were ready to go to sleep, not one of us worn out and the other ready to go out.

Since GJ's passing friends and family have remarked how incredibly close of a couple we were. One friend said you two were almost like one person. If you are committed to that closeness, it will work, if not, it won't. Would it work for just those times you are on vacation. Maybe, but you will only know if you give it a trial. Schedule a pretend vacation at home and work out the schedule and route when there is little pressure for ruining vacation time. But. get up, get care done and then schedule things to do locally, just as if you were on vacation somewhere else. Very likely, you have never visited the attractions close to home anyway. Go to breakfast, pick up a midday snack, make dinner plans. Four to six days should give it a good trial.

Good luck.

NL

[mrb]

C3 complete and vented and have 2 support workers for morning and bed time routine. I travel for work and initially my wife came with me and would act as a support worker. I had to adapt to thinking about how many hours she was working as she slept half awake with me in case I needed anything or a vent failed. Some days she would sleep whilst I went to work. We had a similar system for vacation and rarely were out past 9pm. Over time it became too tiring and I now take 2 support workers both for work and vacation. She still sleeps with me and has to put up with morning and evening routines but isn't as tired. That makes for a much happier relationship which is kind of important. My support workers wages are paid by our NHS, I pay the hotel and food for them. If it is for work I get assistance from government with those costs.

[RJC]

Maybe, but you will only know if you give it a trial. Schedule a pretend vacation at home and work out the schedule and route when there is little pressure for ruining vacation time. But. get up, get care done and then schedule things to do locally, just as if you were on vacation somewhere else. Very likely, you have never visited the attractions close to home anyway. Go to breakfast, pick up a midday snack, make dinner plans. Four to six days should give it a good trial.

Good luck.

NL

That's a really good idea